another (successful) OS and sooo many questions (not short; probably qualifies as "long")

[Raffi Aftandelian]

Dear listers,

Yesterday, I conducted a daylong OS for a Moscow nonprofit group that
works with kids. The organization, appropriately, is called "Circle":
an association of children and adults. The theme was "Where do we find
and how do we effectively use Circle's source of joyful movement and
development?" (aside to Elena Marchuk and Marina Tyasto: i hope to translate this over
the next few days for the Russian-language OS listserv)

First a little about Circle. I always have a hard time describing
Circle, as do the people in Circle itself. But the fact that this
organization has been around 13 (!) years says a lot by itself. This
means they came into being when there was still a Soviet Union. They
have remained an unregistered NGO all this time and only now are
getting registered. Circle has existed as an independent organization
within a Moscow school all this time organizing different activities
for children, parents, and adults. They organize singing, craft work,
camping trips. But the intent is not so much the activity behind it
but how it is all done. Circle's founder, Elena Silaeva, came to this work when she
ended up a single mom with three kids (dad just upped and
left). She knew she wanted her boys to become normal men. Circle
became the vehicle. So, she read a lot, attended trainings (for
example Danaan Perry's workshops), and along the way became a Reiki
master.

While I have yet to see them during their activities (hopefully this
will happen this summer; hope to attend their summer camp this
summer), just in interacting with them I see a group of highly
together, gentle, loving, unaffected, talented, shining, powerful
people. And I have never walked into a room and felt the sense of
people being one united team like with Circle. The fact that the
most of the active adults in Circle have at least a level one
initiation in Reiki may have something to do with it.

This group of course perhaps for being so unusual and so openly
seeking to tie in nonviolence, cooperation, education and many other
things together has had to deal with its share of witchhunts from the
Moscow school system. They have been called a "cult" and many other
things. Which is too bad. Yet the principal of the school (it is one
of Russia's strongest public schools) understands that something
important goes on in Circle. And while he may not be able to
articulate why, he wants Circle to stay. Also, I respect Circle
because for the longest time they have done their work quietly without
producing splashy brochures, sexy websites and the like. Yet now they
recognize that they need to connect with others and share their
experience.

I am also excited by their work because they have in the past year or
so have gone to the tent camps in Ingushetia and brought Chechen
children and (adult) youth workers to live in their summer camp in the wilderness.
They have a video of this experience for those who may be interested.
And it is always amazing when I meet Russians who are so sincerely
concerned about what is happening in Chechnya such that they do
something simple, very powerful, and concrete about it.

Their summer camp, by the way, is not cabins and stuff. Rather, they
go way into the wilderness in Tverskaya Oblast (about 5 hours, I
imagine, from Moscow) and set up camp with tents for a month. And
children and adults share in the work. I don't know if my attempt at a
description does any justice to Circle.

So, when I met Elena Silaeva, I knew straight off that OS would be a perfect
match and that it was quite possible that they already do something OS-like in
their work. And indeed at the closing circle I learned, they have their own OS-ish
practice. Yet they overall seemed to like OS because it seems to tie
together the business meeting tools that they use already.

To give an idea of some of the topics:
1. How to transmit to others what you know?
2. a periodical for Circle (why? about what? how to organize it?)
3. The Circle School: Is Circle capable of offering an education? What
should it look like?
4. Traditions and modernity: costumes, singing, handicrafts

And the group took quite easily, I think, to OS. Elena, your replies
many months ago to my questions really helped me out. We even went
over by an hour. One session did not come back for an hour (we started
late).

My questions:

1. What do I do about my conflictedness about OS?
Inside I am still quite mixed about OS. I saw again that "it
worked". Yet I am not quite convinced. This was the first time I was
paid appropriately for doing an OS (before I did it for free or
almost-free). So I felt greater responsibility. It's this combination
of enchantment with and skepticism towards OS that lives with me.

Enchantment because on a head level it seems too simple and yet works
so well. Skepticism because it's hard to believe that something that
requires so little facilitator intervention (and skill) is so powerful. Also, I am
not still convinced that it brings results. I am such a perfectionist,
I really wonder if I'll ever be convinced that it brings "results". Or
that I'll ever know what "results" looks like.

Also, I carry tremendous guilt. I got paid for sitting around. Was I
tired at the end of the day? Yes. I was "on". My role reminds me of
the emperor who wears no clothes (I recall your story, Harrison, about
the OS where the company's CEO or a consultant said that with OS you'd
developed the greatest OD scam ever: the workers formulate the
questions, answer them themselves, the consultant does nothing and
gets paid for it). A part of me feels like a fraud. Has anybody else
ever felt like this during OS?

Indeed I was asked a few questions during the day that maybe suggested
that that's what some people felt: "This is a funny way of working".
Another was curious what I felt while sitting around. And I didn't
have it in me to truly speak about the conflicted space I was in (I
didn't lie in my answer to him either, though).

And yet I know that I have to do what Birgitt suggested when she
trained us in OS in Novosibirsk: just try it. continue trying it.

Can I say that I feel like I am being sincere and conscientious in
this work? Yes.

During the closing circle, one of the people in Circle that I have
most respect for said that he would want OS to be part of Circle's
school once they create a school. I took that as an indicator of
success. I don't see that person as someone who throws around
compliments.

And I recognize the importance of being trained in OS as opposed to
just picking up the book and doing it. My extensive notes from the
training and your manual Birgitt continue to be indispensible. On one
level I can believe that there is so much depth to OS that we still
can't even begin to fathom it (I recall the "already-thereness"
thread). And on another level I have a nagging something about feeling
like a fraud.

Which brings me to another question.

2. What do I do after opening space?
I have heard the suggestion that to keep space open it helps to
meditate, a daylong walking meditation.

Do other forms of activity get in the way of keeping the space open?
Reading a book, writing a letter? Harrison, in your book, you suggest
going around and cleaning up. Well, there was not much to clean up. I
did do a little bit of that.

What are the different opinions on this?

3. Has anybody ever tried just leaving where the OS was happening for the
day and come back for closing circle? What happened? I know that in OS
the facilitator stays to "hold the space" and to be on hand just in
case there is a "space invader".

4. At what point do you leave the room after opening the circle?
How important is it when you choose to leave the room? Do you wait for everyone to post their topics?

Was this a "boo boo" that I sat in circle while people posted their
topics, announced them?

Should I have left immediately after having given the opening talk?

By having sat around waiting until everyone has posted their topics am
I preventing the space from fully opening? Unintentionally making the
group dependent on me because I am sitting waiting for potential
questions and wanting to be "available, just in case..."?

5. How do you say, "offer a topic which you have passion about" in
Russian?
This is one thing I'll put to the Russian listserv. I have
not yet figured out a way to say this simply and succinctly in
Russian. What you suggested, Elena, is ok, but I think it needs
something. The word for "passion" in Russian ("strast") has an
erotic connotation, so it's a little awkward to use.

6. What to do if you ring the bells for the closing circle and people
don't come?
When I rang those delicious bells (thanks again Michael Pannewitz!) for
closing circle, a participant asked if she could continue working in
session. I answered, "my job is to let you know that it is time for
close circle. What you do with that information is up to you."

And people didn't regroup until an hour later. Is that ok? Would it
have been better to say something else/do something else?

7. To those who do peace work, conflict resolution work, and work in
sister fields: What other tools, training, (spiritual) practices have been helpful in making
you a better facilitator and trainer?

I recognize this is a big question. The more group work I do, the more
I return to the question of the quality of my presence.

Also, I see that I would like to develop further in how I design
workshops (to learn how to design better). And to understand adult
education principles better.

8. Anybody out there trained in processwork? Familiar with it?
I'd be curious to learn what this kind of work has done for you and
others. Your doubts about this kind of work would also interest me.

Mindell writes that "conflict work without reference to altered states
of consciousness is like a flu shot for someone in a manic or
depressed state of consciousness. Most groups and social problems
cannot be well facilitated or resolved without access to the dreamlike
and mystical atmosphere in the background".

That strong statement would seem to challenge OS. Yes, in principle OS
does not disallow processwork from happening. But the likelihood I
think of processwork happening in an OS without processworkers present
is pretty small.

Is OS necessarily always the best tool for conflict work, then?

I am sure I still have more questions but nothing else comes to mind
right now!

I look forward to the continued use of OS. I'm leaving soon for six months
of conflict resolution work and English teaching in Ingushetia. I am excited about
this opportunity and will keep my eyes peeled for OS opportunities.

Light and love,
Raffi Aftandelian
Moscow

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