Letting go; easy to say...

Julie Denny JuliaDenny at aol.com
Sat Aug 9 17:24:00 PDT 2003


Dear List:

>From a mostly lurker...

Letting go. We talk about this in Transformative Mediation, too. What we've
discovered is that needing to control the outcome, or feeling responsible for
the outcome is the height of arrogance. Who are we to tell other people how to
behave, what issues to address or what we think they ought to do?! I've found
this remarkably freeing, although it was difficult for me at the outset too in
mediation. Whenever I find myself saying, "What can I do to move them through
this crisis?" or "They're at an impasse. If I can't get them off that
impasse, the mediation will fail and it will be my fault," I know I'm fighting that
old nag on my shoulder that says, "You have to run this show." Fortunately, I'm
at the place now, pretty much, where I can dismiss the nag and let the people
get on with their own decision making process, regardless of where that leads
them. Like OST, "whatever happens is the only thing that could have
happened."

As long as we let it happen.

Julie



Julie Denny
President
Resolutions
People talk...people listen...things change.
<A HREF="http://www.resolutionsforyou.com">http://www.resolutionsforyou.com</A>
14 Troutbeck Crescent               32 West 40th Street - Ste. 3B
Amenia, NY 12501                    New York, NY 10018
TEL: 845-373-7448                   TEL: 212-944-7271
FAX: 845-373-7092                   FAX: 212-944-7271


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