<HTML><FONT FACE=arial,helvetica><FONT SIZE=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF" FACE="Arial" LANG="0">Dear List:<BR>
<BR>
>From a mostly lurker...<BR>
<BR>
Letting go. We talk about this in Transformative Mediation, too. What we've discovered is that needing to control the outcome, or feeling responsible for the outcome is the height of arrogance. Who are we to tell other people how to behave, what issues to address or what we think they ought to do?! I've found this remarkably freeing, although it was difficult for me at the outset too in mediation. Whenever I find myself saying, "What can I do to move them through this crisis?" or "They're at an impasse. If I can't get them off that impasse, the mediation will fail and it will be my fault," I know I'm fighting that old nag on my shoulder that says, "You have to run this show." Fortunately, I'm at the place now, pretty much, where I can dismiss the nag and let the people get on with their own decision making process, regardless of where that leads them. Like OST, "whatever happens is the only thing that could have happened." <BR>
<BR>
As long as we let it happen.<BR>
<BR>
Julie<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
Julie Denny<BR>
President<BR>
Resolutions<BR>
People talk...people listen...things change.<BR>
<A HREF="http://www.resolutionsforyou.com">http://www.resolutionsforyou.com</A><BR>
14 Troutbeck Crescent 32 West 40th Street - Ste. 3B<BR>
Amenia, NY 12501 New York, NY 10018<BR>
TEL: 845-373-7448 TEL: 212-944-7271<BR>
FAX: 845-373-7092 FAX: 212-944-7271<BR>
<BR>
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