holdin' space

[Gabriela Ender]

Dear Judi and dear Kim,

thanks for sharing your little insights! As a mother of a 22 years old young
man I am holding space with you!
Since three weeks I know that my son will leave our town next week at
minimum for three years.
He will go to learn a profession, about 7 hours away from Berlin by car. He
looks so much forward to his new step and challenge.
He has every thing prepared and managed alone and I am really happy about
his way to organize his
life and future. And at the same time day by day I feel the letting go pain
in my heart and this reminds me additional on my
two other children which died when they were babies (20 and 24 years ago).
But the happiness about
my sons health and his power is much more bigger and this warms my heart and
I feel good in letting him go.
And I think ... okay that all is exactly the right process. But I know, when
the day is there and he will
go ... oh, that will be not so easy ;-)

Greetings to all mothers and fathers here in the list!
Gabriela




----- Original Message -----
From: "Judi Richardson" <Richarjl at akerley.nscc.ns.ca>
To: <OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
Sent: Monday, May 27, 2002 3:48 PM
Subject: holdin' space


> Mornin'
>
> In our deliberations of actively holding space — and as always
> happens when I am in contemplation — an outward manifestation occurs.
> I found myself sending this to a few close friends, and grinned as I
> watch it take place on the screen — speaking to holding space, to my
> stretch away from a traditional parental model — which takes place in
> organizations as we know.  I wondered til this morning if I'd be able to
> place my vulnerability on such a public list.  And, of course <grin>
> with that thought knew that I must!  So, I offer it without editing in
> the spirit of dialogue on actively holding space!
> ***********
> I am writing on this sunny Sunday morning to ask you to take a brief
> moment and hold space with me.  A beautiful time has happened in our
> family life.  My young adult sons are going through growth decisions and
> learning.  In my full knowing I need to serve that -- not fix it, as
> nothing is broken, not help it, as he is the only so called "expert" in
> his life — just quietly serve and hold space.  Setting clear
> boundaries is so important, even knowing in setting some of those
> boundaries my sons may choose to react with pain, disconnection and
> confusion.  Even knowing and celebrating that those reactions will be
> catalysts for great growth.  I am not the creator -- not responsible for
> his every emotion.  And then there is my mother heart -- oh my she is
> experiencing great growth.  This is the moment we have been waiting for
> when my sons spread their own wings and fly.  And, to be honest, I cry
> out because part of me still wants to wrap him in my arms as when he was
> a small child -- the mother wolf protecting her cub, solving his
> problems, his saviour in times of need!  To do that now would stunt his
> growth, close space, and clip his wings, no-- our wings -- serving none
> of us.  And I need to be present moment to moment in holding that space
> actively..... with great love and a full heart.
>
> with love and great gratitude and in peace,
> Judi
>
> Judith Richardson
> judith at ponoconsultants.com
> Pono Consultants International
> Facilitating the Flow of Inspired Collaboration
> (902) 435-0308
> www.ponoconsultants.com
>
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