a first step from Rome (long response)

[Glory Ressler]

  Dearest all,

I have been here with my beloved family and large canine companion...
shouting for joy, crying, feeling sad and scared, knowing hope in my
body... because of all of you. I want to give you my heart. Here goes...

Mostly what I have unlearned are aspects of some theory or methodology
that don't fit my experience - places where I became rigid. Where what I
expect 'should' happen doesn't match what 'is' happening. Un-freezing (I
think of it as exciting the energy or 'un-blocking') is the key, I
think. In Gestalt, we also say that perfect equilibrium = death. The aim
is attaining a creative point of no-difference - slightly off ideal
homeostasis - which requires an ability to hold a point of potentiality,
a place of open possibilities. This is achieved through awareness and
acceptance. Will I allow all these states to pass through me? Integrate
them and choose to transcend? Will I allow you into my definition of
what constitutes an acceptable human condition? Will I let your story
touch me, as it is? To what, am I ultimately attuned? What is this thing
beyond our differences, that glimmers, and I have no words for?

One of the paths is to allow ourselves the full of experience of who and
what we are, and to share it with each other. OS sets these conditions -
what we used to deny, hide, defend, or justify (i.e. strong emotional
responses), we now frame as desirable 'passion'. When I share myself and
listen to you in return, it is out of a hunger to see your shining soul
and have mine seen as well... The 4 Principles and 1 Law set the
boundaries of thinking and acting - and we have the responsibility of
choice. The alignment of thinking, feeling and action is brilliant and
perhaps it is part of a potential ideal state for all of life. The being
and doing it, together, signals the emergence of a new level of
cooperation and co-intelligence, pointing to the potential of
co-creativity. Choice is the radical free-agent. No guarantees. "We
stand on the brink of a precipice. We peer into the abyss - we grow sick
and dizzy. Our first impulse is to shrink from the danger. Unaccountably
we remain." (Edgar Allen Poe, The Imp of the Perverse). And too, the
seed of our genius lies in our mistakes.

I agree with you Harrison, when you say, 'maybe we are at a place where
we can take "The Open Space Experience" as primary data in a natural
experiment'. My urge is to invite us to talk about what our internal,
subjective experience is (hello Wilber!). I thank you for recounting
your experience of talking with colleagues in other disciplines, HO, and
the limits of theory bumping into theory, ego into ego. If you are a
mono-maniacal Open Space freak, thank goodness... don't forget to
include the wisdom of your own ego! Transcendence is fine but not at the
expense of...

If I think of this from a complexity perspective... I'm talking about
heightened co-operation (internally and externally) and more elegant
forms of self-organized behaviour, which leads to an increase in flow of
energy in the field and a new emerging form. From another point of view
I see that we are learning to evolve our own learning, growth and
consciousness. Another turn of the mirror ball, and I see healing,
connection, growth. Another... an experience of unity... beyond dualism
- transcend and include. The underlying mechanism is the same... it is
natural. It isn't necessary, tho... we can maintain rigid, or stuck,
energy places and we do so at the cost of slowly winding down to death.

I both appreciate, and am so sad, to hear everyone's thoughts on
therapy. I understand that our biomedical model approach has lead us to
pathologize and to unnecessarily intervene, sometimes out of the limits
of our current consciousness. As a gestalt therapist, I don't operate
from that place... everything we are doing is our best creative
adaptation to date. Seeing ourselves as somehow 'bad', 'flawed', or
'sick' necessarily limits our range of options - becomes a sticking
point. I am paid, essentially, to 'be' with people - openly, honestly
and with integrity. That we live in a society where people must purchase
this is a reality that breaks my heart. Let's not throw the baby out
with the bath water, tho. I think the transferable piece from psychology
has to do with needing to really 'be' with each other - in awareness,
acceptance and choice. My little secret.... my job is to create a world
where I'm not needed as a therapist :-)

The paradox is.. if we don't want to pay for deep contact/exchange/heart
meetings - we need to have the courage to be that way with each other,
as a matter of course. I long to feel that I've touched someone and to
be touched by all of you. I feel frustrated by my own limits and yours.
I am humbled and I am lifted. I am filled with both an immense sadness
at how we suffer, and pure wonder at how beautiful we all are... I
cautiously love you all, trembling in my vulnerability. And I hold,
tentatively, an open palm in willingness to touch what might come -
either way.

I think that all we have left to talk about are the stories of what
happens to us when we practice/participate in these experiences. At that
level, we begin to see our commonalities and differences - perhaps even
glimpse the universal mechanisms... beyond the techniques... a part of
our consciousness, hard-wired in. The action of ever-changing life in
process... Let's move beyond seeking peace toward living as if the
consequences of peace were already here... where we can be with each
other without fear or defense.

I know I'm long and I'm incomplete and I'm awkward... Thanks for staying
with me.
One final thing. Lyrics to a song that speaks to the gypsy in my heart
that wants to roam your hearts and have you roam mine...
To your beauty and your pain... because 'a broken heart is a natural
function'... hello grief process...and to the broken places where we
meet, include and transcend... and find the seeds of the genius of life,
of which we are a part.

many blessings and much love,
glory

Everybody's Got A Story
Amanda Marshall

You walk up to me and say, 'I feel like I know you baby'... and then
take a sip of cherry coke,
Now, now, who drinks a cherry coke?
Maybe your nervous? I see that bead of sweat dancing on your cheek.
Your words are like cheap champagne.
I get the point but it's much too sweet.
I'm so tired of the dance,
This carousel of superficial conversation gets me nowhere.

So you can see my bra underneath my shirt.
Watch the wind underneath my skirt,
But that ain't the picture, it's just a part.
Everybody's got a story that could break your heart.
See my eyes... you don't see what I see.
Touch my tongue and still don't know what tastes good to me.
It's the human condition that keeps us apart,
Everybody's got a story that could break your heart.
Yeah, everybody's got a story that could break your heart...

Who can read the mind of the red-headed girl next door?
Or the taxi driver who just dropped you off? Or the classmate you ignore?
Don't assume everything on the surface is what you see,
Cause that classmate just lost her mother and that taxi driver's got a Ph.D.
I'm so tired of the fear that weighs us down with wrong assumptions...
A broken heart is a natural function.

So dig deep... dig deep.
Deeper than the image that you see.
Dig deep,
Lift the veil and let your true self breathe.
Dig deep,
Show the world the beauty underneath!

So you can see my bra underneath my shirt.
Watch the wind underneath my skirt,
But that ain't the picture, it's just a part.
Everybody's got a story that could break your heart.
See my eyes... you don't see what I see.
Touch my tongue and still don't know what tastes good to me.
It's the human condition that keeps us apart,
Everybody's got a story that could break your heart.
Yeah, everybody's got a story that could break your heart....

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