Giving and receiving

[audrey coward @bellnet.ca]

I feel your struggle. Some of the costs may be people working on "the
Project" when they have other things. Sometime clients say things like this
when they are afraid as you said. Why not ask them how it is costing them
and you can support them in reducing the costs and ask the crucial queation
What are your fears?

Audrey Coward  .
----- Original Message -----
From: "Douglas D. Germann, Sr." <76066.515 at COMPUSERVE.COM>
To: <OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
Sent: Monday, December 02, 2002 9:54 AM
Subject: Giving and receiving


> Julie--
>
>  << Did things start breaking down after you suggested bringing in
>  << additional co-sponsors to help cover your fees?  Seems to me that
there
>  << are many ways in which that part of what happened might be
contributing
>  << to some of the concerns being expressed now.
>
> Actually, there was some gap in time. I think it went along parallel
> tracks: we began a growing list of who all should be invited, who would
> want to be a part, and at the same time who could be co-sponsors. The more
> we imagined what could be, the more we found to do.
>
> I see that that is kind of vague, and maybe I don't see what all costs
they
> are seeing. I have stressed to them that we won't get people to attend
> simply by press releases and mailing flyers: it will be necessary to make
> personal invitations. So the cost there is in time, not in terms of money
> spent. They are going to a local Sam's Club for food for the event, and a
> hospital might give some money. So I guess I don't see where all the cost
> is. And therefore I do not understand what their fear is. Or what changed.
>
> So you have suggested some questions for me.
>
> Does anybody see any other good questions?
>
> "Let the outcome be whatever it is"--you have gotten me thinking, and Mick
> has topped it off. Much to think about now. Thank you.
>
> Christine--
>
> I love that quote! I think I will share it with them. Thank you.
>
> What I love about it is that it puts it finger right on the problem I am
> intuiting: I wonder if they have the commitment to make this work, or
> whether this is just a commercial transaction for them.
>
> Mick--
>
>  << But do it unconditionally because then there is no way that you can
>  << possibly be disappointed if people dishonour the givens - whatever
>  << happens....? The danger is that if one is disappointed by the
>  << non-reciprocated expectation of receiving then one might just possibly
>  << stop giving. What a disaster that would be.
>
> Unconditionally--what a harsh word! And good word, too. I have been seeing
> this as a showcase for me, along with the good I think it can do in our
> community. I need to let go of that unconditionally. Thank you for
> reminding me.
>
> Now I have to wrestle with myself.... <grin>
>
> One thing my wrestling gives me now is that if I decide to stick with the
> fee model, then I stick with it and whatever happens happens. Still, the
> fee is not the thing, but the commitment from them, and even the shift in
> commitment.
>
> Any other good wisdom out there from anybody else? This has surely been a
> generous helping. Thank you, Julie, Christine, and Mick.
>
>                               :-Doug. Germann
>
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