Way of the Warrior and Open Letter

Glory Ressler on.the.edge at sympatico.ca
Sun Sep 23 13:12:49 PDT 2001


Dear all,
I have been wrestling with my need to do little, say less.  Often I have
felt that there must be something wrong with me, especially as I watched
so many of you speak so eloquently and participate so actively...  all
with passion and responsibility.  Why am I not more active?

I am brought back to self-acceptance because of my personal pain
(wanting as little of it as possible) and a new realization (in gestalt
terms) of my embodied creative point of no difference - the slightly off
centre point of open space where all potentialities seem feasible.
Choosing where to go from here (or to stay here a bit longer) has been
painful.  There seems no easy, right or wrong answer.  In this moment, I
feel as though I am free falling past those old categories (in some
small way).  Shit!  I want solid lines, clear vantage points, and
actions I can believe firmly in.  Open space has blown that all away!
The last two posts from Julie and Harrison have been very helpful to
me.  I thank you both.

on 9/23/01 Harrison wrote>
'My greatest fear is that in the heat of the moment, our space becomes
closed so that there is no room for the necessary, ongoing conversation
between The Warrior, The Visionary, The Healer, and The Teacher.'

Thank you for articulating the very thing that has kept me relatively
silent.  Whatever I say, of late, seems closed to some other viewpoint
that I think has merit as well.  The Warrior says fight!  The Visionary
says there is a place beyond all talk of war and peace.  The Healer
longs to bring a soothing balm to the suffering of all humanity, and the
Teacher wants to point a way where it can all be heard.  I feel humbled
and insignificant to the task at hand.  I am frustrated that my few open
space events and other contracts don't seem to be enough!

On 9/23/01 Julie (through Rabid and friend) wrote>
'We are left with no choices, no options. This is by Creator's own hand.
He has made it so. The only alternative is not to participate. We must
each take a step, whether left or right, forward or back, one step to
the center and STOP.'

It has seemed to me that whatever I take a stand for, automatically sets
into motion the opposing stance - a dance of polarity; right/wrong,
good/bad, fear/love, etc... I have experienced a personal and
professional movement that started at peace and has now grown to include
the warrior's perspective.  This has been deeply confusing to me and has
wrested my deep need for control out a bit further from my core.

I have been STOPPED and that's frightens me.  Thanks Julie for the
comfort I found in the words you sent.  Waiting, listening, reflecting,
gathering are the activities I still conduct in STOP (as paradoxical as
that seems).  It comes down to trust for me...  Letting go...

I often feel inadequate writing on this level, when so many of you are
opening space officially in so many important ways and sharing those
stories.  I see the validity in our calls for political action.  I see
the validity in our work.  I feel the limits of our language, as I
notice that my interpretations of what has been written are taken as
'prescriptive' in one way or another.   I have no answers, my friends.
I have only questions and a strong desire to open space to explore
them.  I pray that I will have the opportunity to live out my purpose on
this earth.

Thanks for reading/listening.
I value each and every one of you and I honour your responses and
feelings within and about this time.
glory

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