the right to treat each other well (long response)

[Glory Ressler]

Alan,
Thank you for your post on this subject.  Beware my response is long -
let it be a testimony to the richness of your original sharing!
I found it very thought-provoking and concur with you, especially:
>How much of the richness of life is enhanced, individually and
collectively, every time each of us  moves towards another as a
fundamental way of being?<

I had a very powerful experience of this just yesterday when I
facilitated a story circle (very similar to wisdom circles, dialogue
circles, leadership circles - like From the Four Directions, etc.. and
very akin to the principles of good conversation and what occurs in open
space, I believe) for a group of 12 women entrepreneurs.  There are very

multi-cultural and multi-faith in composition (muslim, christian,
native, atheist AND african, arabic, south american, north american, and
european).  The theme (as they are all developing speciality food
products for wholesale and retail distribution) was:  "Stories from the
Kitchen: Recipes for our Life".
As in open space, I did little except to open the circle/space, set a
few conditions (one was we NEED each other - together we are greater
than any of us could be individually and that we have the right to treat
each other well in order to get what we need), and hold the container.
Below are a few of the feedback comments that illustrate the power of
'moving toward another as a fundamental way of being':
~ Mind blowing. Difficult to list all the emotions and thoughts that
were present. This is a huge experience, that will be carried forward
and built on. More pieces to the puzzle, more insight into what makes
people tick.
~ We need much more than the obvious to make our dreams come true. We
can get so much from each other and we have something of value to offer
others. Thank you!
~ This was a beautiful experience! Although I found it difficult at
first to even think of something worthwhile to contribute, once we got
rolling, there was no stopping us! Tremendous sharing of "life altering"
stories. Great human bonding through tears and laughter.
~ I will remember the different experiences and it will have a great
impact on my future. I am very grateful to be a part of this... I can't
believe how my thinking will change the rest of my life.
~ I will always remember this day and keep it near to my heart and I
will never forget the caring and loving people in it.

To other aspects of your post - I would add that our right to treat each
other well is a right born of all autonomous entities.  Rights also have
corresponding responsibilities that are attached.  I am not speaking
philosophically or spiritually here as much as evolutionarily.  In the
nested web of universal being we (humans) are up there on the
evolutionary scale and therefore have 'rights'.  However, our survival
depends on supporting and maintaining the integrity of all that upon
which we rest - a nation depends upon its citizens for its nationhood,
individuals depend upon their own physiology for their being, which
depends upon the plant and animal kingdom for survival, etc...  all the
way down to the cellular and even atomic level.  It is this
interdependency that attaches a requirement of response-ability.  The
'rights' afforded us are inseparable from the responsibilities we also
bear as a function of our dependence. This is the paradoxical and
mysterious nature of complexity and transformation - the more power you
have (in the form of 'rights' and autonomy), the more dependent and
interdependent you also become.   I see this in those who are leading
the organizations I work with - the power also makes them vulnerable. It
is my understanding that successful evolutionary adaptation, at this
stage, must be based on cooperation and harmony with all other levels
upon which we depend for our life.  This isn't a guarantee - we also
have the right to self-destruct, alienate, etc...

I would add, from my understanding and experience, that although we may
not have an obligation to 'treat each other well', we do have a
responsibility.  For me, this term takes a slightly different meaning
than obligation or duty; one of response-ability.  We are able to
respond in a myriad of ways, both as individuals and as a species.  We
have the evolutionary capability and, given the current state of the
larger environment, we also have a clear need, in terms of survival. The
more the power, the more the vulnerability (direct relationship between
rights and response-abilities)

Open space is, in part, so valuable because it opens space for a wider
range of choice in responding.  Obviously this is no guarantee - we can
choose to respond in self-destructive ways.  And if we do so, I say 'so
be it' - better for the overall endurance of healthy life, in general.

I have digressed here from your points (hope you find them somehow
meaningful!)....

In the end, there endures that sense of mystery and wonder that is best
tasted, by me,  through story, metaphor, deep conversation, moments of
profound contact with some aspect of the universe (including other
people!)...  One of my most important prompts for self-reflection, and
which I regularly ask clients and students, is:
What is my(your) relationship to mystery?  Do you dance, run, hide from,

fight against, make love with, feel screwed by, etc....it?

with great love, appreciation, and best wishes,
glory

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