Storytelling - what happened?

[Chris Weaver]

Dear Thomas,

I appreciate your story very much.  I concur with the comments of John Dicus
and Don Ferretti.

A couple weeks ago I was making a presentation to a community group about
OST.  The question was posed to me: what makes the environment safe?  Are
there ground rules for how to interact?

I answered that no, there are no ground rules for how to interact...but that
what seems to happen is that because people care about the theme, they begin
to take risks with their words - risks of honesty.  And it is the
accumulation of this risk-taking that raises the level of trust in the
group.

The woman who had asked the question noted that it is an unusual notion that
it is risk-taking that makes a space safe.  I agreed with her.  "I've never
thought of it in quite that way.  But I think that's what happens."

My experiences with talking circles and storytelling circles confirm this
idea.  It takes grace and courage for someone to tell the first
difficult-honest story, but once that story is told, others follow.

The facilitator has no guarantee that someone will break the ice in this
way, and in the culture (and grief-cycle stage) that some organizations are
in, the benefit of taking the risk must be clear and very strong in order
for an individual to overcome the resistance to speaking truthfully, or
speaking at all.

Like John and Don, I have no doubt that your event was of value, even if
uncomfortable for you and others.  You wrote that one woman "told me that so
many old memories came back to her, obviously not nice ones."  Simply by
issuing the invitation, you bring the organization closer to its truth.  If
they are living a lie, the OST and its aftermath will hit rough water
anyway, so any efforts of this kind improve the chances for success.

I think your reflections on food are important.  I have had the most success
when people are well-fed before the circle begins (and when the food is good
and the dinner atmosphere convivial!)

So for me as a talking circle facilitator, the question is, "What words,
timing, environment, and other forms will support the people to have the
courage to take the risk of speaking what matters?"  Your sharing of your
story helps me to answer this question with more skill.

Chris Weaver

--
S   P   R   I   N   G   B   R   A   N   C   H

Opening the Space for Inspired Collaboration
P.O. Box 8234 / Asheville, NC 28814 / USA
Phone: 828 225-0007 / Fax: 828 225-0303
http://www.springbranch.net / chris at springbranch.net

F   A   C   I   L   I   T   A   T   I   O   N

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