change

[Birgitt Williams]

Dear friends and colleagues,
I pose some thoughts here about CHANGE.

In our western culture, I find that change is a negative word. When was  the
last time you heard someone say "you've changed" and meant it as a
compliment. Usually it is meant as a negative. "You've changed and you no
longer fit the illusion I have of you."  " You've changed and you no longer
meet my needs."  " You've changed and I will do everything in my power to
get you to change back again."

In our western culture, I find that when people leave a marriage, it is
often because one or the other or both persons thought that they could
change the other. When the change did not happen, the marriage didn't last.
People rarely marry each other, accepting each other just as he/she is.  OR
people marry each other and accept each other just as he/she is and then
when one or the other or both partners grow and evolve and CHANGE, the
people involved don't cope with it, like a promise has been broken.

As individuals, as couples, as families, if we are truly alive, change is a
constant. And yet we are ill-equipped to work with change in a way that is
accepting and celebrating of it. I say "if we are truly alive" which for me
means seeking living that is life nurturing rather than life depleting. I
see so many many individuals that have joined "the procession of the living
dead". Was CHANGE a factor in their choice to hide themselves in jobs that
are life depleting, in their tv sets because they cannot cope with the real
world around them, in their addictions. I know this is much more complex
than I am suggesting here. I am simply postulating that CHANGE and the
incapacity to work with change, navigate with change, celebrate change is A
factor.

Now comes the part where I shift my ponderings to organizations. Change
management is an oxymoron. Change cannot be managed and yet there are many
consultants who sell themselves as "change managers" or their programs as
"change management programs". Organizations like to hire them. It feels
safe, I guess, to believe in the illusion that change can be managed.

And then I think about whenever anyone has tried to CHANGE me from an
external perspective. The rebel in me surfaces, the warrior surfaces, and I
dig my heels in. And yet I am a person who has CHANGED many many many times
over in this lifetime. I am firmly committed to my growth and evolution and
trusting Spirit and being in the moment with whatever the moment brings. My
change comes from my commitment, my willingness, my discipline, my
irreverence, my heart and body and mind and soul, my essence. Because I want
to be all that I can be. I seek out my mentors, I place intentions to the
universe, I enter into relationships that will help me learn and grow and
that are life giving to me. It is my CHOICE to change. And I have the wisdom
to seek what I need to go along as far as I can and am ready for. Not
because someone else has determined what is right or good for me from their
perception. Sometimes I go fast, sometimes I go slow, and sometimes it looks
like I am not moving at all. All takes place in its right time. I know that
when I allow someone to assist me in my personal growth, it is because I
feel understood, accepted, and loved just for who I am at this moment.

And despite people saying "you've changed", I wonder if I have changed or
simply cast away more of my veils, my shields, my false clothes to be more
of who I already am. To stand in my fullness, my authenticity, my integrity
to the extent that I have made contact with the deep in me. I peel away
illusions and get to what is already present. Aside from my body aging,
maybe I don't change at all.



This affects how I approach working with organizations.

Birgitt

Birgitt Williams
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