You call this planning!!??

[BJ Peters]

ralphsc wrote:

> Hi,
>
> How interesting to read the comments about preparation.
>
> I have no disagrements to offer, just a slightly different way of doing things.  This is not about the time I spend preparing the client, but the work I do, more precisely *don't* do, with myself.
>
> For years I have listened closely and with admiration when Harrison has described the personal preparation he does before doing open space events.  I always felt vaguely guilty that I don't do what he doe, i.e. meditate for long stretches ahead of time, etc. I felt that by not doing that I might be cheating the client.   But for whatever reasons, I have not adopted his approach.  I always relax a little, make sure I do not show up harried and worried or boiling over with my own emotional turmoil, and I learned that I can usually do that.  I seem to have a switch in me that enables me to turn of anything else that's going on within me.
>
> And on the several occasions when I felt the need to practice my opening (because the group had very sensitive issues, etc.) I usually get nervous and stumble.
>
> Last fall, my "learning" about how I prepare got some reinforcement.  A brief story (hope I'm not repeating some earlier posting.  If so, my apologies.)...
>
> I arrived in a far-away time zone to do an OS event after the airplane trip from hell.  Cancelled flights, stunningly rude airline personnel, lost baggage, missed connections.  You name it, it happened.  I was steaming.  To make matters worse, my hotel room was "under construction" and the hotel people moved me to another place seven miles away.  Add to the list of woes: botched ground transportation.  I worked my way through all of this, somehow, but then my new hotel missed my wake up call on the morning I was to open the space ? and the OS room hadn't even been set up yet!
>
> "Beside myself" didn't describe me.  You see, I don't really enjoy business travel all that much.  Give me a gig an hour's drive from my house with no overnights and I'll be okay.  More than that and I start off as a semi-unhappy camper.  Frustrate me with broken arrangements, and I seethe and stew.  In my previous life, I probably found joy and fulfillment as an assasin.
>
> Well, I somehow got myself together in time.  I stepped into the circle and did one of the best intros I think I've ever done.  Smooth, crisp, clear and funny.  The whole event went very well from start to finish.  The close was a simply beautiful experience.  I just kept telling myself, "Get out of the way."
>
> Aside from the small assist of a decently competent intro, of course, the space, time, and energy was carried by the passion and commitment of the 75 participants.  It never was and never is about me.  Yes, I do believe one needs to enter/open the space as facilitator/holder in a calm, focussed manner, but if I had come in wild-eyed, strained, and at the mercy of the agonies of the journey ? well, I won't say it wouldn't have made any difference, but there is some room for leeway.  It's my experience that many, maybe most, participants do not decide how they'll be in open space based on the behavior they observe in the facilitator.  If they did, the space wouldn't be truly open.  It would be too dependent on who I am.
>
> The lesson for me is not that preparation matters little.  It matters a lot.  But in my case, if I'm any good at doing this work, it's because the preparation I have done over the years in whatever ways I may have done it (unconscious as well as deliberate) has been more important than things I do just before I help open space.  What is the preparation that I've been doing all these years?  Beats the hell out of me.
>
> (By the way, my trip home was no better: more delayed flights, missed connections, and yet another attack of the disappearing luggage demons.  To quote the late, great Charles Schultz, "Aaarrrgh!"  I'm never leaving the house again.)
>
> Ralph Copleman

Ralph-- Thank you for sharing your wonderful story! It underscores for me the role that presence - being truly present- plays in this work. While I don't advocate we create chaos and pain to get centered, I know that when the Universe bombards me with disorder or lunacy or aggravation, I am best served when I allow that to be the catalyst for me to connect with myself, spirit and my inner wisdom - to experience and accept what is real in the moment. When I can do that, I can be present and contribute. I am eternally grateful for those times when I can.

In harmony --BJ

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