Fw: humour - Creation

[Birgitt Bolton]

Dear friends, sometimes just sometimes, when we are working with Open Space
and the committees and protocol and rigid rules get in the way, and you
want to say "to hell with it", this little story may help you out. Now
mind, all the councils and such meant well--they have good intentions and
important missions of their own to keep--so this is not a commentary
against them.

Enjoy,
Birgitt

>                Creation
>
>  IN THE BEGINNING, GOD CREATED HEAVEN AND EARTH...
>
> He was then faced with a class action lawsuit for failing to file an
environmental inpact statement from HEPA (Heavenly Environmental Protection
Agency), an angelically staffed agency dedicated to keeping the universe
pollution free.
>
> God was granted a temporary permit for the heavenly portion of the
project, but was issued a cease and desist order on the earthly portion of
the project, pending further investigation by HEPA. Upon completion of his
construction permit and environmental impact statement, God appeared before
HEPA council to answer some questions. When asked why He began these
projects in the first place, He simply replied that He liked to be
creative. This was not considered an adequate reason and He was required to
substantiate this further.
>
> HEPA was unable to see any practical use for earth anyway, since "the
earth was void and empty and darkness was on the face of the deep." Then
God said, "Let there be Light."
>
> He should never have brought up this point, since one member of the
Council was active in the Sierrangel Club and immediately protested, asking
how the Light was to be made. Would there be strip mining? Air Pollution?
God explained that the Light would come from a huge ball of fire.
>
> Nobody on the council really understood this, but it was provisionally
accepted, assuming 1) that there would be no smog or smoke resulting from
the burning; 2) a seperate burning permit would be required; and 3) since
continuous light would be a waste of energy, it should be dark half of the
time. So God agreed to divide the Light and the Darkness and He would call
the Light Day and the Darkness Night. (The Council expressed no interest in
in-house semantics.)
>
> When asked how the earth would be covered, God said, "Let there be
firmament made amidst the waters; and let it divide the waters from the
waters." One ecologically radical Council member accused Him of double
talk, but the Council tabled action since God would have to first file for
a permit from the ABLM (Angelic Bureau of Land Management) and further
would be required to obtain water permits from the appropriate agencies
involved.
>
> The council asked if there would only be water and firmament, and God
said, "Let the earth bring forth the green herb, and such as may seed, and
the fruit tree yielding after its own kind, which may have seen itself upon
the earth." The Council agreed as long as native seed would be used. About
future development God also said, "Let the waters bring forth the creeping
creature having life, and the fowl that may fly over the earth." Here
again, the Council took no formal action since this would require approval
of the Fish and Game Commission coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife
Federation and the Audobonangelic Society.
>
> It then appeared the everything was in order until God stated that He
wanted to complete the project in six days. At this time He was advised by
the Council that his timing was was completely out of the question...HEPA
would require a minimum of 180 days to review the application and
enviromental impact statement, and then there would be public hearings. It
would take 10 to 12 months before a permit would be granted.
>
> God said, "To Hell with it!"
>
>
>
>
>
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