fear of success cont'd
PKaipa at aol.com
PKaipa at aol.com
Tue Dec 22 23:03:25 PST 1998
<<I don't believe in fear of change. I think we change all the time. For sure
sometimes it is getting us in deep "do do" that helps us accelerate to a
changed state. But that is not the only criterion for change. Nor is
aspiration. How about living and loving life as two ingredients to keep us
changing. Love of someone, love of self, love is a pretty powerful force.>>
When I read your message, first I felt wronged. I found myself affected by
what you wrote and the conviction with which you wrote. I found myself
stiffening and taking a position and getting ready to defend my position. It
is real easy for me to go intellectual or academic and show all kinds of
references and stories that support my point of view.
Then, I stopped and realized that I don't really care about whether I am right
or wrong. I shared what I experienced and learned and understood that what you
learned is different. So what! My life did not fall apart. At that time, I
could find myself smiling!
So here I am. I do know that I change all the time and that there is part of
me that resists change. Intellectually, I know all the good stuff about change
and the meditation I do 'Vipassana' is about acknowledging the temporal nature
of myself and my body. So I don't have any differences there.
It is also true that there is something that is unchangeable and that may not
even belong to me. When everything is changing, they must be changing with
respect to something, right? What is that something that stays constant amidst
constant change. That is exciting for me. According to Hindu philsophy, that
is truth, beaty, wisdom and Brahman.
There I am in the middle of two polarities. I include and transcend both
because I have experienced both. Neither is wrong or right for me. They just
are and I am open to something beyond both.
At the bottom of all this, there is love and openness
thanks for helping me to get in touch with it.
The Mithya Institute for Learning and Knowledge Architecture
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