<div dir="auto"><div style="font-family:arial,helvetica;font-size:13.3333px;background:white" dir="auto"><div style="font-family:sans-serif;font-size:12.8px" dir="auto"><div style="width:328px;margin:16px 0px"><div dir="auto"><div style="font-family:'helvetica neue','helvetica','arial',sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(38,40,42)"><div><strong style="font-family:arial,helvetica;font-size:10pt;color:black"><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:arial,sans-serif;color:navy;background-image:initial;background-position:initial;background-size:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial">ENGLISH Mensa Invitational - for lexophiles</span></strong><br></div><div><div style="font-size:12pt;font-family:'helvetica','arial',sans-serif;color:rgb(51,51,51)" dir="auto"><div dir="ltr"><div style="color:black;font-stretch:normal;font-size:10pt;line-height:normal;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif" dir="auto"><div style="font-family:arial,helvetica;font-size:10pt"><div dir="auto"><div style="background-image:initial;background-position:initial;background-size:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial" dir="auto"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:'helvetica',sans-serif;color:rgb(51,51,51)"> </span></div><div style="background-image:initial;background-position:initial;background-size:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial" dir="auto"><strong><span style="font-size:14pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">The Washington Post Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.</span></strong><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:'helvetica',sans-serif;color:rgb(51,51,51)"> </span><strong><span style="font-size:14pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">Here are the winners:<br></span></strong><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br><strong>-------------------------------------------------<br></strong></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">1.<strong> Cashtration</strong> (n.): </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.</span><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"> <br><br><br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">2.<strong> Ignoranus</strong>: </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">A person who's both stupid and an asshole.<br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>3.<strong> Intaxicaton</strong>: </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.<br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>4.<strong> Reintarnation</strong>: </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">Coming back to life as a hillbilly.<br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>5.<strong> Bozone</strong> (n.): </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. <br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>6.<strong> Foreploy</strong>:</span><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:'helvetica',sans-serif;color:rgb(51,51,51)"> </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting lai</span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:rgb(31,73,125)">d.</span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"> <br><br>7.<strong> Giraffiti</strong>: </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.<br><br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">8.<strong> Sarchasm</strong>: </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.<br><br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">9.<strong> Inoculatte</strong>: </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.<br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>10.<strong> Osteopornosis</strong>: </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">A degenerate disease.<strong>(</strong>This one got extra credit)<br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>11.<strong> Karmageddon</strong>: </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.<br><br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">12.<strong> Decafalon</strong>(n):</span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">The</span><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:'helvetica',sans-serif;color:rgb(51,51,51)"> </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.<br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>13.<strong> Glibido</strong>: </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">All talk and no action. <br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>14.<strong> Dopeler Effect</strong>: </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. <br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>15.<strong> Arachnoleptic Fit</strong> (n.): </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.<br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>16.<strong> Beelzebug</strong> (n.): </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.<br></span><strong><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br></span></strong><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">17.<strong> Caterpallor</strong> (n.): </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. <br></span><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br><br><br></span><strong><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">The WashingtonPost has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.<br><br>And the winners are:<br><br></span></strong><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">1.<strong> Coffee</strong>, n. </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">The person upon whom one coughs. <br><br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">2.<strong> Flabbergasted</strong>,</span><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:'helvetica',sans-serif;color:rgb(51,51,51)"> </span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">adj. </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. <br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>3. </span><strong><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:rgb(31,73,125)">A</span></strong><strong><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">bdicate</span></strong><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">, v. </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.<br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>4.<strong> Esplanade</strong>, v. </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">To attempt an explanation while drunk.<br><br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">5.<strong> Willy-nilly</strong>, adj. </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">Impotent. <br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>6.<strong> Negligent</strong>, adj. </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.<br><br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">7.<strong> Lymph</strong>, v. </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">To walk with a lisp.<br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>8.<strong> Gargoyle</strong>, n. </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">Olive-flavored mouthwash.<br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>9.<strong> Flatulence</strong>, n. </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.<br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>10.<strong> Balderdash</strong>, n. </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">A rapidly receding hairline.<br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>11.<strong> Testicle</strong>, n. </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">A humorous question on an exam. <br></span><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"><br>12.<strong> Rectitude</strong>, n. </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. <br><br>13. </span><strong><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">Pokemon</span></strong><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">, n.</span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"> A Rastafarian proctologist. <br><br>14. </span><strong><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">Oyster</span></strong><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">, n.</span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"> A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. <br><br>15. </span><strong><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">Frisbeetarianism</span></strong><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">, n.</span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy"> The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.<br><br>16. </span><strong><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">Circumvent</span></strong><span style="font-size:24pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">, n. </span><span style="font-size:20pt;font-family:'arial',sans-serif;color:navy">An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.</span></div><div dir="auto"><br></div></div><div style="color:white" dir="auto"><br></div><div style="color:white" dir="auto">_._,_._,_</div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div style="height:0px"></div></div><br></div></div>