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<div class="moz-cite-prefix">Thanks so much for such a personal and
poignant story, Suzanne - and Happy belated Birthday to you,
Harrison (and to your dad, Suzanne).<br>
<br>
A midwife helps usher the birth process, and a hospice worker
assists the with the process of dying.<br>
<br>
Open Space has very much been about both at the same time - which
also makes it hard to talk about.<br>
<br>
Birth usually comes with quite a bit of pain - we recognize that
but gloss over it for the obvious joy of welcoming in a new soul -
never mind the postpartum depression.<br>
<br>
Death often comes with pain as well especially for those who are
losing a loved one, but I've been surprised by the joy that comes
from celebrating a life.<br>
<br>
These are heavy things - not necessarily the best marketing
material to invite people into something. And at the same time, it
touches on why Open Space is so potent. It's touching on a very
natural transformational process of both beginnings and endings.
There's a deep awareness of structure in Open Space, even as we
witness new structure coming into being to serve Spirit, just as
we witness it leaving.<br>
<br>
My original intention for diving into Open Space was to promote
new stuff. Agile Software Development. Lean. Even OST itself. What
I haven't felt nearly as joyful about has been how much OST is
also about grieving and letting go of the old stories. The
memories. It's continues to be something worthy of pondering - and
I'm grateful that Harrison wrote Wave Rider. And it still feels
like there's more, much more.<br>
<br>
How do you keep facing and helping these forces to flower as an
Open Space facilitator - or as someone inviting others in? How do
you face the fear - and keep the courage both for yourself, and
for others?<br>
<br>
Thanks,<br>
Harold<br>
<br>
P.S. This quote seems relevant.<br>
<br>
<i>A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored
by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With
consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as
well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you
think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow
thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you
said to-day. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' —
Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was
misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and
Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise
spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.</i><br>
<br>
- Ralph Waldo Emerson<br>
<br>
<br>
On 12/3/12 12:47 PM, Harrison Owen wrote:<br>
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<div class="WordSection1">
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">Thanks
Suzanne – and a special thanks to your father, without whom
you would not be. </span><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Wingdings;color:#1F497D">J</span><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">ho<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">Harrison
Owen<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">7808
River Falls Dr.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">Potomac,
MD 20854<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">USA<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">189
Beaucaire Ave. (summer)<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">Camden,
Maine 20854<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">Phone
301-365-2093<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D">(summer)
207-763-3261<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"><a
moz-do-not-send="true" href="www.openspaceworld.com%20"><span
style="color:blue">www.openspaceworld.com</span></a> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"><a
moz-do-not-send="true" href="www.ho-image.com%20"><span
style="color:blue">www.ho-image.com</span></a> (Personal
Website)<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Consolas;color:#1F497D">To
subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the
archives of OSLIST Go to:<a moz-do-not-send="true"
href="http://lists.openspacetech.org/listinfo.cgi/oslist-openspacetech.org"><span
style="color:blue">http://lists.openspacetech.org/listinfo.cgi/oslist-openspacetech.org</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<div style="border:none;border-top:solid #B5C4DF
1.0pt;padding:3.0pt 0in 0in 0in">
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span
style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"">From:</span></b><span
style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"">
<a class="moz-txt-link-abbreviated" href="mailto:oslist-bounces@lists.openspacetech.org">oslist-bounces@lists.openspacetech.org</a>
[<a class="moz-txt-link-freetext" href="mailto:oslist-bounces@lists.openspacetech.org">mailto:oslist-bounces@lists.openspacetech.org</a>] <b>On
Behalf Of </b>Suzanne Daigle<br>
<b>Sent:</b> Sunday, December 02, 2012 2:22 PM<br>
<b>To:</b> World wide Open Space Technology email list<br>
<b>Subject:</b> Re: [OSList] The Joys of Grief -- With
Thanks to Harold<o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">A
special Happy Birthday wish with a story that says: “Don’t
judge a book by its cover!”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">December
2<sup>nd</sup> is a special day for someone we know. It’s
Harrison’s birthday and we are all very grateful that he
popped into this world on this little ole planet of ours, if
only to remind us all how wonderfully precious life is and how
much there is to enjoy in the doing and non-doing, moment by
moment, in wonder and in awe of it all. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">Open
Space Technology has been a great gift to so many, opening up
spaces inside ourselves and with others, spaces where people
can come together to make a difference – in our families, our
communities, in countries and in the world. Unbelievable what
happens by simply sitting in a circle, united on something we
care about, with a law and a few principles which are really
just the laws of nature and life! Magic happens every time.
The experience is unique and predictable, joyous and intense,
always generative, purposeful and creative. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">No
gift big enough, no birthday wish loud enough to express the
gratitude we feel for this great life gift that Open Space has
been for all of us around the world.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">So
on this anniversary date, a day when we want to say a
heartfelt Happy Birthday to our dear friend Harrison, I offer
this paying it forward Birthday Story as a gift hoping it will
invite a “ heartfelt conversation” that people can have with
their dads not even waiting for a birthday day – a
conversation I can now only have in spirit. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">Many
of you know this already because I have spoken of this
coincidence before. <b>My late father and Harrison share the
same birthdate</b> and same penchant for gin martinis.
Before he died, my French Canadian dad read <u>A User Guide
to Open Space Technology</u> in Italian, a language that he
had been teaching himself. He loved the book and we had some
good chats and quite a few arguments about it too.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">Today
something happened; a bit of synchronicity that brings a touch
of sadness and joy to my day. It’s something I wanted to share
with all of you knowing that in the vulnerability of my story,
it may bring you closer to people in your life. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">About
8 to 10 years ago, my dad sent me a book titled: <b><u>Machiavelli
for Women</u> </b>by Harriet Rubin. Wikipedia describes
<b>Machiavellianism</b> (or <b>machiavellian mask</b>) is,
according to the <a moz-do-not-send="true"
href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxford_English_Dictionary"
title="Oxford English Dictionary"><span
style="color:windowtext;text-decoration:none">Oxford
English Dictionary</span></a>, "the employment of cunning
and <a moz-do-not-send="true"
href="http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/duplicity"
title="wikt:duplicity"><span
style="color:windowtext;text-decoration:none">duplicity</span></a>
in statecraft or in general conduct", deriving from the <a
moz-do-not-send="true"
href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Italian_Renaissance"
title="Italian Renaissance"><span
style="color:windowtext;text-decoration:none">Italian
Renaissance</span></a> diplomat and writer <a
moz-do-not-send="true"
href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Niccol%C3%B2_Machiavelli"
title="Niccolò Machiavelli"><span
style="color:windowtext;text-decoration:none">Niccolò
Machiavelli</span></a>, who wrote <a
moz-do-not-send="true"
href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Prince" title="The
Prince"><span style="color:windowtext;text-decoration:none">Il
Principe</span></a> (The Prince) and other works. The word
has a similar use in modern <a moz-do-not-send="true"
href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychology"
title="Psychology"><span
style="color:windowtext;text-decoration:none">psychology</span></a>
where it describes one of the <a moz-do-not-send="true"
href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_triad" title="Dark
triad"><span style="color:windowtext;text-decoration:none">dark
triad</span></a> personalities, characterised by a
duplicitous interpersonal style associated with <a
moz-do-not-send="true"
href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cynicism_%28contemporary%29"
title="Cynicism (contemporary)"><span
style="color:windowtext;text-decoration:none">cynical</span></a>
beliefs and pragmatic morality.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">I
was hurt when I got this book in the mail from dad. I did not
read it or even mention a word about it; simply stuffed it in
the back of a giant bookshelf in my garage<b>. I should have
known to never judge a book by its cover. </b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"> Like
many children I had a conflicted relationship with my dad. As
a medical doctor who loved science and his profession, he
found little use for the mega corporations of this world. In
his eyes, they were the arch enemy. Working in manufacturing
and corporate leadership, I often felt that I bore the brunt
of all that was wrong with corporate politics, that I myself
was too manipulatory, too nice and too controlling – the stuff
that I then felt was good leadership and management. Dad
often felt outrage at what he saw and so often, he wanted me
to join his fight if only in words. It was not my way. And
yet, I shared his views on many issues while still seeing the
great stuff that happens in the workplace. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">When
Open Space came into my life, it was a veritable tsunami,
hugely transformative, painful at times though more often
joyful. It also got me a relationship with my dad. I can only
imagine the conversations we would have today as I step into a
bigger calling of leadership with others more and more. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">So
the point of my story is that this book was not an endorsement
of Machiavellian ways, it was an acknowledgement by my dad of
the high regard he had for me and what he saw was possible
when women and others step into their leadership, one that is
not about war and power, fighting and winning. Quite the
contrary. The stories, the quotes, the leaders are inspiring
in the way of the Open Space work that we do. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">On
this special birthday day, I quote this passage on page 20
from Harriet Rubin’s book that came from Nelson Mandela’s
inaugural speech which I interpret was also my dad’s message
to me and the message that Harrison conveys to us in this
community, time and time again:<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">“Our
deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear
is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, our
darkness, that most frighten us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I
to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually
who are you not to be?... Your playing small does not serve
the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that
other people won’t feel insecure around you. And as we let
our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">In
closing, I add this last tidbit. After reading the first few
chapters of this fateful book, I started fanning the pages,
stopping when I suddenly recognized my dad’s handwriting.
Under the chapter heading “<u>On the use of Men as Weapons</u>”,
my father had scrawled these words in brackets <b>(Except
your dad).</b> It was the only page on which he had
written anything. Needless to say, tears poured down my face.
<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">And
in the end, on this special birthday day, I know it’s the
universe telling me and us once again to be opening space
everywhere and anywhere, all the time! Otherwise, we will be
limited to judging a book by its cover, never knowing the
greatness of others and what we can do together. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">So
Harrison, expect a Birthday Hug in Florida at WOSonOS 2013 if
I don't see you before then.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"
style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto">Suzanne<o:p></o:p></p>
<div>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:12.0pt"><o:p> </o:p><br>
</p>
</div>
</div>
</blockquote>
<br>
<br>
<div class="moz-signature">-- <br>
Harold Shinsato<br>
<a href="mailto:harold@shinsato.com">harold@shinsato.com</a><br>
<a href="http://shinsato.com">http://shinsato.com</a><br>
twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/hajush">@hajush</a></div>
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