<html><body style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; ">Hi, Lucas -<div><br></div><div>There is a whole ecology of possibilities and opportunities around this question / this situation.</div><div><br></div><div>Yes - there are some people who no matter what you write do not read it. </div><div>So it is quite possible you did everything you could have and ... each person has their own story and we don't know other peoples' stories. So it is hard to say why this person was upset - though he named his upset with an unclear introduction, frustration and discussion versus a solution orientation *that he could see*. (for often, dialogue is the action in certain steps along the way). It is unclear why he is or was upset - no data - and I would not make an assumption based on no data. So you could only say 'he said he was unhappy in these ways'.</div><div><br></div><div>So it would be hard to know if you could have done anything differently.</div><div>Every single person does not love every single meeting. It happens.</div><div>It is realistic to say a meeting did not work for someone. </div><div><br></div><div>In Open Space, on a few occasions in a high-conflict meeting I have had people angry and conflicted in some conversation get mad and leave the room - when I check with them in the hallway and say 'how are you doing' they share their feelings of frustration or anger. And I say 'well, take good care of yourself, as I see you are doing - I'll see you when you return.'
And they always (eventually) have returned. </div><div><br></div><div>However, if you were to reflect on the constellation of actions and opportunities around this example - what would you say?</div><div><br></div><blockquote class="webkit-indent-blockquote" style="margin: 0 0 0 40px; border: none; padding: 0px;"><div>- was the invitation / registration process something that provided 2-way communication - for example might you have sent a message about a week before the event saying how delighted you are they are coming, giving people final details, describing the objectives?</div><div><br></div><div>- if he was a person you knew to be of minority opinion / culture - did you do anything during the invitation process to ensure he (and others of different viewpoints) had allies? like-minded people or people he feels differently from but trusts - as fellow participants? </div><div><br></div><div>- did you do things to make it as easy for him to access the event as some others? (financially, transport, housing, information for people not familiar with the region, etc.)</div><div><br></div><div>- is he someone who uses an online message space / reservation system / update message board or whatever you were using as a natural part of his online use culture? In other words - was the information you placed there for all to see actually reaching all different kinds of users of technology (including those who comfortably and often check in online and those who do not - who respond more to 'push' messages into their inboxes)? Is it possible he could not have seen information about these breakout groups online because that is not how he interacts with technology surrounding an event?</div></blockquote><div><br></div><div>At the event</div><div><br></div><blockquote class="webkit-indent-blockquote" style="margin: 0 0 0 40px; border: none; padding: 0px;"><div>- was he - as well as others - received in a collegial way and welcomed to the site?</div><div><br></div><div>- could you or your co-facilitator have been clearer about framing the task, the instructions, the objectives (including clarifying 'this is for x, not for action or decisions - that will be a x later time')?</div><div><br></div><div>- were you or your co-facilitator observant of the fact that he was frustrated? </div><div><br></div><div>- did anybody talk to him in the hallway when you saw him walk out of the room - to see how he was doing?</div><div><br></div></blockquote><div>The fact that he is named as an opponent to change is </div><div><br></div><blockquote class="webkit-indent-blockquote" style="margin: 0 0 0 40px; border: none; padding: 0px;"><div>a) not a sole reason for him to be uncomfortable - there are often other reasons for people to be unhappy and uncomfortable, and </div><div>b) often a way people are described by the greater group or the organizers and that languaging can predispose people to seeing him that way - perhaps there's another way to describe him (besides an 'opponent to change') so folks see his gifts even if they do not agree with him</div></blockquote><div><br></div><div>He had enough interest to come 275 miles to an event and take the time away from his other work. </div><div><br></div><div>The fact that it was not Open Space also means I do not know how the process worked - when not Open Space, often some people are upset because someone else pre-selects topics and that's not how they would have said it or what they feel is priority at all. Sometimes in a process individuals do not feel they have liberty to step away from something they feel is not productive for them - until if they feel as bad as he did they leave to do something they feel is more productive. Sometimes people feel rushed as not enough time is given for the interchange. Sometimes the instructions or the process are not made clear. Those things can add to a person's frustration.</div><div><br></div><div>Have you followed up with him to ask him to share his thinking? (not to 'solve' - but to truly listen without trying to change or explain another viewpoint)? Has he been given witness for his concerns? </div><div><br></div><div>To me, he was the right people. Whoever leaves are the right people, too.</div><div><br></div><div>Lisa</div><div><div apple-content-edited="true"><br class="Apple-interchange-newline">
</div><br><div><div>On Mar 27, 2011, at 6:37 PM, Lucas Cioffi wrote:</div><br class="Apple-interchange-newline"><blockquote type="cite">Hi All,<div><br></div><div>We've all heard that "whoever comes are the right people;" does that also imply that "whoever comes and leaves are the wrong people" too? I'm wondering if any of you have experience with people leaving in anger?<div> <br><div>Here's my recent experience...</div><div>My co-facilitator received this comment in response to a post-event survey:</div><div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0.8ex;border-left-width:1px;border-left-color:rgb(204, 204, 204);border-left-style:solid;padding-left:1ex"> <span style="border-collapse:collapse;color:rgb(0, 0, 128);font-family:Arial;font-size:13px">"I for one was not impressed, I traveled 275 miles to attend, cost the government quiet a bit of money and left after the first breakout group. There was not even enough of an introduction to let people know what exactly what was going on. Had I known that this was going to break out groups talking about whatever with no actual solutions to what the problem was or no direction on how to overcome the problem I would not have attended. With the budget being what it is I feel this was a total waste of money."</span></blockquote> </div><div><span style="border-collapse:collapse;color:rgb(0, 0, 128);font-family:Arial;font-size:13px"><br></span></div><div>Some more context:</div><div><ul><li>This was a workshop about internal transparency, held at a typical federal government agency in DC.</li>
<li>This person is well-known as an opponent to change at the agency.</li><li>The workshop was not an open space event nor advertised as an open space event, but it did include break-out groups and participants did populate an agenda wall for two breakout sessions. Because of the similarities in design, I think this episode may be of interest to the group.</li> <li>These breakout groups were announced on the RSVP site, so this person had an opportunity to know what was going to happen at the event. Of course people are busy so often they don't know what they're signing up for, and I'm not going to blame this person for that.</li> </ul><div>Anyway, has someone ever left your event completely frustrated? Did you do anything about it? I look forward to your thoughts.</div></div></div><div><br></div><div>Lucas</div>
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