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Great sharings from all around...<br>
<br>
This might also help... something I read in a book about llama care.
Llamas don't like to be touched normally, but if you do it often
enough they become desensitized and won't mind being touched and
handled. The same is true for a lot of things humans don't feel
comfortable about - at first. It's one of the reasons Lisa's
training was so valuable for me - getting experience walking and
talking in the circle "desensitizes" to the discomfort so one can
spend more time tuning into the energy of the room and being what
they need from me as a facilitator. That's also a lot easier when I
already feel I have a relationship with the theme and the people
because of strong pre-work (another thing Lisa emphasizes).<br>
<br>
It has also helped knowing a lot of the people in the room - getting
a chance to talk make eye contact even before getting into the
circle, and having some friendly faces to help remember it's all
good.<br>
<br>
And the trick that Harrison mentioned is also something that Dale
Carnegie put in his "How to Win Friends and Influence People"
classic. If you feel nervous, just admit it and move on. The
transparency puts people at ease and you stop having to fight
wondering whether anyone is noticing that you are nervous.<br>
<br>
Harold<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
On 11/18/10 9:42 PM, Lisa Heft wrote:
<blockquote
cite="mid:DB6E8392-9250-4F13-8341-7AC7B0D395B7@openingspace.net"
type="cite">Hello, dear Eleder - once again you ask great
questions.
<div><br>
</div>
<div>Everyone has shared so wonderfully.</div>
<div>The only things I would add are:</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>In my Open Space Learning Workshop one of the things folks do
is practice walking and talking in that circle.</div>
<div>And yes - others have mentioned as you have their concern
with having their backs to someone as they speak.</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>What they have found is similar to what was mentioned here -
if you look a few people ahead and keep moving (slowly,
breathing, present) you are indeed never having your back to
anyone for very long. If you turn your head as you move you are
including people behind you as you travel, as well. If your
voice is loud enough or you have a microphone everyone can hear
you even if you are not facing everyone.</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>Of course this is all different if some people in your circle
have any hearing differences such as deafness or other hearing
loss - so it is always good to ask on registration forms who has
any access / ability / mobility issues they would like to bring
to event coordinators' attention. Then you have this extra info
if you need it for some individuals, and can give them extra eye
contact or some notes as well.</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>
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<div>
<div><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#0000ff" size="4"><span class="Apple-style-span"
style="font-size:
14px;"><b><span
class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: medium;
font-weight:
normal;">
<div><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#811107" size="1"><span class="Apple-style-span"
style="font-size:
9px;"><i><font
class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span"
style="font-style:
normal;"><font
class="Apple-style-span" size="3"><span class="Apple-style-span"
style="font-size:
12px;">
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;">It is
true that
having too
small a circle
and towering
over people is
hard for them
- so do make a
nice big
circle with
room in
between each
chair. And if
it is too
small on the
inside I see
no problem
with walking
the outside of
the circle
(though when I
have done this
some of my OS
colleagues
have *gasped*
!. But it is
so I do not
close everyone
in too
tightly, in
those
instances.</span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;"><br>
</span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;">I
have also
learned from
my workshop
participants
that if you
have any
nervousness
about looking
people in the
eye, try
instead....looking
at the tops of
their heads
(!).</span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;">It
often feels
like you are
looking at
them - try it.</span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;"><br>
</span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;">But I
think you will
become more
and more
comfortable as
you practice,
sort how you
like to say
things, and
experience
yourself doing
it more and
more.</span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;"><br>
</span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;">Sometimes
if it is a
tense event to
come - I may
set up the
circle and
then walk, it,
before any
participants
arrive. And I
envision the
participants
and their
listening
faces, and I
smile and
welcome them
before they
get there.</span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;"><br>
</span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;">Mostly
- Suzanne said
it so well: it
is of course
not about you.
It is about
them. So if
you focus on
them and on
making your
voice and the
instructions
something they
can hear and
that invites
them, then
once you begin
you are in
partnership
with them -
and they can
feel it...</span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;"><br>
</span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;">And
the other
'mostly' is:
remember you
are in your
walking, your
breathing,
your
explaining -
creating a
container that
is open and
welcoming and
has tools and
a process - so
that they can
do their best
work.</span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;">You
are with your
walk, your
voice, your
instructions,
your
breathing...
weaving that
open and
inviting
container. And
in your
walking you
are invoking
(calling in)
energy. </span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;"><br>
</span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;">And
you know how
to do that,
dear Eleder -
just....
breathe....
and ... go....
and be amazed,
as I know you
are....</span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;"><br>
</span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;">Lisa</span></font></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><span
class="Apple-style-span"
style="color:
rgb(0, 0,
255);
font-size:
14px;
font-weight:
bold;"><br>
</span></div>
<div
style="margin:
0px; font:
10px
'Trebuchet
MS'; color:
rgb(155, 44,
1);"><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:
medium;"></span></font><span
class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255); font-size: 14px;
font-weight:
bold;">Lisa
Heft</span></div>
</span></font></span></font></i></span></font></div>
</span></b></span></font></div>
<div>Consultant,
Facilitator,
Educator</div>
<div><font
class="Apple-style-span"
size="3"><span
class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px;"><b><font
class="Apple-style-span"
color="#0000ff">Opening Space</font></b></span></font></div>
<div><a
moz-do-not-send="true"
href="mailto:lisaheft@openingspace.net">lisaheft@openingspace.net</a></div>
</div>
</div>
</span></div>
</span></span></span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
</div>
</blockquote>
<br>
<br>
<div class="moz-signature">-- <br>
Harold Shinsato<br>
<a href="mailto:harold@shinsato.com">harold@shinsato.com</a><br>
<a href="http://shinsato.com">http://shinsato.com</a><br>
twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/hajush">@hajush</a></div>
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