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<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>Thanks for your response, Kaliya. With
apologies to others on this list, I will make one more attempt to clarify: my
email response to you was not about Michael. <i><span style='font-style:
italic'>This is not about Michael</span></i>. Nor is it about whether or
not to use NVC on this list-serv, although I have found it to be a valuable
resource. This is about my experience of your communication and a simple
request that you refrain from engaging in personal attacks when you communicate
here. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>I welcome direct and frank conversations.
What I do not welcome is <i><span style='font-style:italic'>blaming, name-calling,
and yelling</span></i>, and I don’t want to be part of a community that
condones these kinds of tactics. Quite simply, I believe that one can have
direct and frank conversation without blaming, name-calling, or yelling.
One can discover truth without sacrificing respect. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>Best of luck to you in your efforts to
create the kind of web presence you want.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>Sincerely,<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>Karen<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
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style='font-size:9.0pt;color:#4B9E9C'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=1 color="#409f9d" face=Arial><span
style='font-size:7.5pt;font-family:Arial;color:#409F9D'><a
href="http://www.luminacoaching.com/"></a><span class=MsoHyperlink><font
color="#409f9d"><span style='color:#409F9D;text-decoration:none'><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 color="#409f9d" face="Times New Roman"><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;color:#409F9D'><a href="http://www.luminacoaching.com/"><font
color="#409f9d"><span style='color:#409F9D;text-decoration:none'><img border=0
width=195 height=44 id="_x0000_i1028" src="cid:image001.jpg@01CA6956.3FECADE0"></span></font></a></span></font><font
color=navy><span style='color:navy'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;text-indent:9.0pt'><font size=2
color="#4b9e9c" face=Perpetua><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Perpetua;
color:#4B9E9C'> lumina fr. L. <em><i><font face=Perpetua><span
style='font-family:Perpetua'>light, air, opening... </span></font></i></em></span></font><em><i><font
size=2 color=navy face=Perpetua><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Perpetua;
color:navy'><o:p></o:p></span></font></i></em></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:3.0pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:
3.0pt;margin-left:0in'><font size=1 color="#4b9e9c" face=Arial><span
style='font-size:9.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:#4B9E9C'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:3.0pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:
3.0pt;margin-left:0in'><font size=1 color="#4b9e9c" face=Arial><span
style='font-size:9.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:#4B9E9C'>Karen Sella <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=1 color="#4b9e9c" face=Arial><span
style='font-size:9.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:#4B9E9C'>Coaching: <a
href="http://www.luminacoaching.com"><font color="#4b9e9c"><span
style='color:#4B9E9C'>www.luminacoaching.com</span></font></a></span></font><font
size=1 color="#409f9d" face=Arial><span style='font-size:7.5pt;font-family:
Arial;color:#409F9D'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:3.0pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:
3.0pt;margin-left:0in'><font size=1 color="#4b9e9c" face=Arial><span
style='font-size:9.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:#4B9E9C'>Consulting: <a
href="http://www.integralventures.com"><font color="#4b9e9c"><span
style='color:#4B9E9C'>www.integralventures.com</span></font></a></span></font><font
size=1 color="#4b9e9c"><span style='font-size:9.0pt;color:#4B9E9C'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:3.0pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:
3.0pt;margin-left:0in'><font size=1 color="#4b9e9c" face=Arial><span
style='font-size:9.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:#4B9E9C'>Phone: 1.206.780.2998</span></font><font
size=1 color="#4b9e9c"><span style='font-size:9.0pt;color:#4B9E9C'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:3.0pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:
3.0pt;margin-left:0in'><font size=1 color="#4b9e9c" face=Arial><span
style='font-size:9.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:#4B9E9C'>Skype: karensella</span></font><font
size=1 color="#4b9e9c"><span style='font-size:9.0pt;color:#4B9E9C'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.75in'><font size=3 color="#4b9e9c"
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:#4B9E9C'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 color=navy face="Times New Roman"><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><i><font size=1 color="#4b9e9c" face=Arial><span
style='font-size:7.5pt;font-family:Arial;color:#4B9E9C;font-style:italic'>The
information contained in this message may be privileged, confidential and
protected from disclosure. If you are not the intended recipient, any
dissemination, distribution or copying is strictly prohibited. If you
think that you have received this message in error, please notify the sender by
reply and delete the message and any attachments.</span></font></i><i><font
size=1 color="#4b9e9c" face=Arial><span style='font-size:7.5pt;font-family:
Arial;color:#4B9E9C;font-style:italic'><o:p></o:p></span></font></i></p>
</div>
<div>
<div class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'><font size=3
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>
<hr size=2 width="100%" align=center tabindex=-1>
</span></font></div>
<p class=MsoNormal><b><font size=2 face=Tahoma><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:Tahoma;font-weight:bold'>From:</span></font></b><font size=2
face=Tahoma><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Tahoma'> <st1:PersonName
w:st="on">OSLIST</st1:PersonName> [mailto:<st1:PersonName w:st="on">OSLIST</st1:PersonName>@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU]
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>On Behalf Of </span></b>Kaliya *<br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>Sent:</span></b> Thursday, November 19, 2009
7:28 PM<br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>To:</span></b> <st1:PersonName w:st="on">OSLIST</st1:PersonName>@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU<br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>Subject:</span></b> Re: [<st1:PersonName
w:st="on">OSLIST</st1:PersonName>] re honouring each other</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
</div>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:
12.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-bottom:12.0pt'><font size=3
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Thanks for the NVC tip
Karen :) .<br>
<br>
I in fact worked at BayNVC in 2002 and I am very familiar with it as yet
another method in the tool box for engaging in dialogue. It is
particularly valuable in the face to face - interpersonal. I am not sure
"expressing my needs" in that NVC way would really have gotten us to
where we are in this dialogue. It would have come across as passive and
helpless. It also doesn't work online in large group dialogue. <br>
<br>
I am very sorry you feel uncofortable with direct and frank talk about the
nature of how several of us have experienced Micheal's management style of what
was supposedly "THE worldwide home of <em><i><font face="Times New Roman">Open
Space</font></i></em> Technology"<br>
<br>
It was only through the intensity of the dialogue and holding on to truth and
calling a spade a spade that he actually got clear with everyone that it was
"HIS site". Someone said to me you know this is the first time
he has ever said it was "his" site. Truthful clarity came
forward. <br>
<br>
Tree Fitzpatrick is the only person who spoke up and shared her personal
experiences in trying to deal with Michael's supposed openness. Others have
shared their experiences but choose not to do so publically. <br>
<br>
The thing that struck me about the dialogue with Micheal was that he used
"open spaceisms" to be defensive and not answer me directly.
This was a behavior that I first experienced in the NVC community (by staff
people I worked with at BayNFC) where people would start "NVCing" you
when they disagreed and mask a whole power trip they were playing. <br>
<br>
Tools and models are just that - NVC is a tool appropriate for some places but
not applicable or useful everywhere, Open Space is a tool but not appropriate
or applicable everwhere or in every mode of human organization. <br>
<br>
Regards, <br>
-Kaliya<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:
12.0pt'>On Thu, Nov 19, 2009 at 7:04 PM, Karen Sella <<a
href="mailto:karen@luminacoaching.com" target="_blank">karen@luminacoaching.com</a>>
wrote:<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<div link=blue vlink=blue>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial'>Hi Kaliya,</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial'> </span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial'>I agree that
this conversation has been useful in helping you organize your efforts around
more truth, and I’m delighted that you are taking responsibility for your
passion in and for this community. I appreciate your desire to offer more
alternatives and educate those of us with less technical prowess about the
various options. However, when you make disparaging remarks about Michael
(or <i><span style='font-style:italic'>anyone</span></i>) and his website, I
feel disrespected as a member of this community. When you characterize a
member of our community as a “dominating” “dictator”
who’s “blocking progress” and being dishonest—not
“coming clean”—I distrust both your motives and your capacity
for civil discourse. When you frame his website as a “dysfunctional
default” that is somehow less than the “new and better real
home” for this community that your efforts will provide, I feel sad that
in your efforts to build something new, you neglect to express more
appreciation for what is and what has been. These comments seem
unnecessarily dismissive and partial, and undermine my desire to receive your
potentially valuable contribution. However, being open-minded, I followed
the link in your invitation, and upon arriving there was disappointed to find
more negative commentary about Michael and his website amidst more productive
suggestions about possible options. </span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:
12.0pt'><br>
I am sorry that you feel uncomfortable. <br>
You have not been a part of m<br>
<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<blockquote style='border:none;border-left:solid #CCCCCC 1.0pt;padding:0in 0in 0in 6.0pt;
margin-left:4.8pt;margin-right:0in'>
<div link=blue vlink=blue>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=2 color="#4b9e9c" face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:
Arial;color:#4B9E9C'>
</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial'>While
various professions do indeed have different "normative conflict
levels," and there are those in all professions who could be described as
“conflict-averse,” I suspect that much discomfort here has less to
do with normative conflict levels than differing norms about how to deal with
conflict. As my messages to date must demonstrate, I am not
conflict-averse, but I am averse to personal attacks. Blaming,
name-calling and yelling make me uncomfortable. Unless one happens to be
shouting for joy, shouting actually makes it more difficult for me to hear and
listen. In my experience, these kinds of tactics, which we all are guilty
of engaging in from time to time, <i><span style='font-style:italic'>close</span></i>
rather than open space. </span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial'> </span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial'>I understand
from what you have shared that you are really attempting to open space and
improve this community’s online experience. I can imagine how
frustrating it must be to have a clear vision of what you want and feel unheard
or thwarted in your attempts to garner the support to make it happen, and you
are, of course, entitled to share your opinions as you choose. However, I
would be more comfortable and more receptive to your efforts if you could share
your perspective without engaging in these kinds of tactics. I think
someone else mentioned Marshall Rosenberg’s, <a
href="http://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Marshall-Rosenberg/dp/1892005034/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258675009&sr=8-1"
target="_blank">Nonviolent Communication</a>, which if you have not already
discovered it, is a great resource for learning constructive approaches to
communication congruent with the norms of this list-serv. </span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial'> </span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial'>Sincerely,</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial'>Karen</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;
color:navy'> </span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
margin-left:9.0pt'><font size=1 color="#4b9e9c" face="Times New Roman"><span
style='font-size:9.0pt;color:#4B9E9C'> </span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=1 color="#409f9d" face=Arial><span style='font-size:7.5pt;font-family:
Arial;color:#409F9D'><a href="http://www.luminacoaching.com/" target="_blank"></a></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 color="#409f9d" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#409F9D'><a href="http://www.luminacoaching.com/" target="_blank"><font
color="#409f9d"><span style='color:#409F9D;text-decoration:none'><img border=0
width=195 height=44 id="_x0000_i1025" src="%20"></span></font></a></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto;
margin-left:.5in;text-indent:9.0pt'><font size=2 color="#4b9e9c" face=Perpetua><span
style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Perpetua;color:#4B9E9C'> lumina fr. L.
<i><span style='font-style:italic'>light, air, opening... </span></i></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;margin-bottom:3.0pt'><font
size=1 color="#4b9e9c" face=Arial><span style='font-size:9.0pt;font-family:
Arial;color:#4B9E9C'> </span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
</div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;margin-bottom:3.0pt'><font
size=1 color="#4b9e9c" face=Arial><span style='font-size:9.0pt;font-family:
Arial;color:#4B9E9C'>Karen Sella </span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=1 color="#4b9e9c" face=Arial><span style='font-size:9.0pt;font-family:
Arial;color:#4B9E9C'>Coaching: <a href="http://www.luminacoaching.com"
target="_blank"><font color="#4b9e9c"><span style='color:#4B9E9C'>www.luminacoaching.com</span></font></a></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;margin-bottom:3.0pt'><font
size=1 color="#4b9e9c" face=Arial><span style='font-size:9.0pt;font-family:
Arial;color:#4B9E9C'>Consulting: <a href="http://www.integralventures.com"
target="_blank"><font color="#4b9e9c"><span style='color:#4B9E9C'>www.integralventures.com</span></font></a></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
</div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;margin-bottom:3.0pt'><font
size=1 color="#4b9e9c" face=Arial><span style='font-size:9.0pt;font-family:
Arial;color:#4B9E9C'>Phone: 1.206.780.2998</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;margin-bottom:3.0pt'><font
size=1 color="#4b9e9c" face=Arial><span style='font-size:9.0pt;font-family:
Arial;color:#4B9E9C'>Skype: karensella</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto;
margin-left:.75in'><font size=3 color="#4b9e9c" face="Times New Roman"><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;color:#4B9E9C'> </span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
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size=3 color=navy face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:navy'> </span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><i><font
size=1 color="#4b9e9c" face=Arial><span style='font-size:7.5pt;font-family:
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<hr size=2 width="100%" align=center>
</span></font></div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><b><font
size=2 face=Tahoma><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Tahoma;font-weight:
bold'>From:</span></font></b><font size=2 face=Tahoma><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Tahoma'> <st1:PersonName w:st="on">OSLIST</st1:PersonName>
[mailto:<a href="mailto:OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU" target="_blank">OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU</a>]
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>On Behalf Of </span></b>Kaliya *<br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>Sent:</span></b> Thursday, November 19, 2009
12:49 PM<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Tahoma><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:Tahoma'><br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>To:</span></b> <a
href="mailto:OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU" target="_blank">OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU</a><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<p class=MsoNormal><b><font size=2 face=Tahoma><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:Tahoma;font-weight:bold'>Subject:</span></font></b><font size=2
face=Tahoma><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Tahoma'> Re: [<st1:PersonName
w:st="on">OSLIST</st1:PersonName>] re honouring each other</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
</div>
<div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;margin-bottom:12.0pt'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>On Wed, Nov 18,
2009 at 5:43 PM, Chris Corrigan <<a href="mailto:chris.corrigan@gmail.com"
target="_blank">chris.corrigan@gmail.com</a>> wrote:<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<div bgcolor="#FFFFFF">
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>I'm a little late
to this conversation but I'd like to add my two cents. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Thank you to all
who hold space for the various ways that we are able to connect our work to
people that need it. And thank you to Michael for the tireless work he does on
the openspace world website. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>No one controls
the number one spot in Google. It's all about how many people link to you. If
you have quality stuff and people link to it you'll go higher in the rankings.
I have no doubt that the ning site has all the potential to be number one and
that would be great. But let's be clear that there is no way to conspire to
keep others out of the top spots. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>These strange
personal attacks on the list do nothing to advance the community's work. It is
highly out of character for this community to engage like this. I know everyone
involved in this dispute personally and I am having a hard time ascribing
motives or squaring what I am reading with what i know of these people
personally. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>We can all be
prickly at times but is this a fight that is necessary to have?<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><br>
Yes.<br>
<br>
It got some things out in the open and on the table. <br>
Clarity about who owns and controls what and how they "really" want
to manage/hold things on behalf of the community. <br>
<br>
Now that things are clearer we have more options - more openness - rather then
being stuck in what was a dysfunctional default (the way it always was). <br>
<br>
I realized in working with a journalism focused group that the tech industry
has a "higher normative conflict level" then many other professional
fields. <br>
<br>
The primary community that I facilitate open space for in that world - the
Internet Identity Workshop - <a href="http://www.internetidentityworkshop.com"
target="_blank">http://www.internetidentityworkshop.com</a> is going into it's
10th meeting this coming May. The largest tech companies on the web are
all in there and all in sort of ongoing "perma-conflict" re how
things will evolve and they all love each other and cooperate with each other. <br>
<br>
I am sorry if this dialogue has made those of you who as facilitators are
conflict averse feel "uncomfortable" but it is through naming and
challenging and getting clarity about what people really mean and what their
intentions are that we can move forward. <br>
<br>
<br>
-Kaliya<br>
<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<blockquote style='border:none;border-left:solid windowtext 1.0pt;padding:0in 0in 0in 6.0pt;
margin-left:4.8pt;margin-top:5.0pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:5.0pt;
border-color:-moz-use-text-color -moz-use-text-color -moz-use-text-color rgb(204, 204, 204)'>
<div bgcolor="#FFFFFF">
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>With gratitude for
passion bounded by responsibility. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Chris<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>-----<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>CHRIS CORRIGAN<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><a
href="http://www.chriscorrigan.com" target="_blank">http://www.chriscorrigan.com</a><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Sent from an iPod,
typed with thumbs...<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;margin-bottom:12.0pt'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><br>
On 2009-11-18, at 3:18, Tree Fitzpatrick <<a
href="mailto:therese.fitzpatrick@gmail.com" target="_blank">therese.fitzpatrick@gmail.com</a>>
wrote:<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<blockquote style='margin-top:5.0pt;margin-bottom:5.0pt' type=cite>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;margin-bottom:12.0pt'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>For what it is
worth, I experience Kaliya's comments as powerful, even courageous efforts to
open space.<br>
<br>
For what it is worth, I experience Michael's comments as name-calling,
denigrating, invalidating, dishonoring. I find myself wishing he would make
less attack statements and more 'I' statements, telling us what he thinks and
feels without attacking others shared thoughts and feelings.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>On Tue, Nov 17, 2009
at 9:16 AM, Karen Sella <<a href="mailto:karen@luminacoaching.com"
target="_blank"></a><a href="mailto:karen@luminacoaching.com" target="_blank">karen@luminacoaching.com</a>>
wrote:<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>For what it's
worth, I experienced all the comments from Michael and others<br>
as adding useful perspectives to the conversation--not invalidating or<br>
dishonoring... just sharing yet another perspective.<br>
<br>
Warmly,<br>
Karen<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
Karen Sella<br>
Coaching: <a href="http://www.luminacoaching.com" target="_blank"></a><a
href="http://www.luminacoaching.com" target="_blank">www.luminacoaching.com</a><br>
Consulting: <a href="http://www.integralventures.com" target="_blank"></a><a
href="http://www.integralventures.com" target="_blank">www.integralventures.com</a><br>
Blog: <a href="http://www.lumina.typepad.com" target="_blank"></a><a
href="http://www.lumina.typepad.com" target="_blank">www.lumina.typepad.com</a><br>
Phone: 1.206.780.2998<br>
Skype: karensella<br>
<br>
<br>
lumina fr. L. light, air, opening...<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
The information contained in this message may be privileged, confidential<br>
and protected from disclosure. If you are not the intended recipient, any<br>
dissemination, distribution or copying is strictly prohibited. If you
think<br>
that you have received this message in error, please notify the sender by<br>
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<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><br>
-----Original Message-----<br>
From: <st1:PersonName w:st="on">OSLIST</st1:PersonName> [mailto:<a
href="mailto:OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU" target="_blank"></a><a
href="mailto:OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU" target="_blank">OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU</a>]
On Behalf Of Kathie<br>
Wallace<br>
Sent: Tuesday, November 17, 2009 9:10 AM<br>
To: <a href="mailto:OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU" target="_blank"></a><a
href="mailto:OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU" target="_blank">OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU</a><br>
Subject: [<st1:PersonName w:st="on">OSLIST</st1:PersonName>] re honouring each
other<br>
<br>
Hi Everyone,<br>
I have been following this community for a while and will soon start<br>
sharing info. Many thanks for all the enlivening info. I am grateful.<br>
I feel the need to speak in response to Michael's comments re Kaliya's<br>
thoughts.<br>
OST is about staying open and positive and welcoming of all perspectives<br>
and ideas, as I experience it. Critiquing and judging and saying "no"
to<br>
ideas stops the new, constantly self-emerging outflowing of ideas that is<br>
creating a continual shared meaning among us all that excites me to no<br>
end.<br>
<br>
All of Kaliya's ideas are valid.<br>
<br>
Michael, may I suggest you own your own ideas more powerfully by using<br>
phrases like "in my opinion" or using the pronoun "I"
rather than "you"<br>
when you share your own ideas.<br>
<br>
...and on with the OST dance,<br>
<br>
Sincerely,<br>
Kathie Wallace<br>
<st1:place w:st="on"><st1:City w:st="on">Vancouver</st1:City>, <st1:State
w:st="on">BC</st1:State>, <st1:country-region w:st="on">Canada</st1:country-region></st1:place><br>
<br>
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for such supreme and unsurpassable affirmation. -- Hannah Arendt<br>
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