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<DIV dir=ltr align=left><SPAN class=446064902-27082007><FONT face=Verdana
color=#000080>Dear Wendy,</FONT></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV dir=ltr align=left><SPAN class=446064902-27082007><FONT face=Verdana
color=#000080></FONT></SPAN> </DIV>
<DIV dir=ltr align=left><SPAN class=446064902-27082007><FONT face=Verdana
color=#000080>Thank you so much for your beautiful stories. The way you
worded the opening for your mother-in-law's funeral illuminates the deep
wisdom in the principles and process of Open Space and calls me to
consider other ways that Open Space can be adapted to the life-cycle.
I wonder if my mother, who has made it clear that she doesn't want a typical
funeral, might be open to an open time and space.</FONT></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV dir=ltr align=left><SPAN class=446064902-27082007></SPAN> </DIV>
<DIV dir=ltr align=left><SPAN class=446064902-27082007><FONT face=Verdana
color=#000080>A couple of years ago, when my husband and I were struggling to
stay in communication with our teenage son, we held family meetings in Open
Space. Our hormone-laden son also grooved on the posting of his issues and
the power inherent in the law of two feet. We found that the issues that
he posted were often the subjects we most wanted to discuss - the difference was
obviously that he was in charge of bringing up those topics and therefore he
took responsibility in a totally different way.</FONT></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV dir=ltr align=left><SPAN class=446064902-27082007><FONT face=Verdana
color=#000080></FONT></SPAN> </DIV>
<DIV dir=ltr align=left><SPAN class=446064902-27082007><FONT face=Verdana
color=#000080>Warmly from slightly cooler, wet Phoenix,</FONT></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV align=left><EM><FONT face="Lucida Handwriting" color=#000080
size=2>Christine</FONT></EM></DIV>
<DIV align=left> </DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial color=#000080 size=1></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Verdana color=#000080 size=2>Christine Whitney
Sanchez</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Verdana color=#000080 size=2><EM>CWS - Collaborative
Wisdom & Strategy</EM></FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Verdana color=#000080 size=2>2717 E. Mountain Sky
Avenue</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Verdana color=#000080 size=2>Phoenix, AZ
85048-8990</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Verdana color=#000080
size=2>480.759.0262</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Verdana color=#000080 size=2><A
href="http://www.christinewhitneysanchez.com/">www.christinewhitneysanchez.com</A>
</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial color=#000080 size=1></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV><BR>
<DIV class=OutlookMessageHeader lang=en-us dir=ltr align=left>
<HR tabIndex=-1>
<FONT face=Tahoma size=2><B>From:</B> OSLIST
[mailto:OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU] <B>On Behalf Of </B>Wendy
Farmer-O'Neil<BR><B>Sent:</B> Thursday, August 23, 2007 1:13 AM<BR><B>To:</B>
OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU<BR><B>Subject:</B> Opening space for
death<BR></FONT><BR></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV class=Section1>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">Well, it seems like I have been
doing little else these days. And while we’ve been talking about circles
of life and mutations of the form, I thought I’d share a bit about my
experiences over the past 8 months.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">In November my Grandfather
died. I had offered to do something for the celebration of his life and my
Grandmother courageously took me up on it—she had no idea what OS was, just
trusted me. She had a lot of fear that no one would stand up and
speak. She had been to a traditional celebration not long before and no
one had shared anything. I designed a blend of whole person process and
OST that I have blogged about in detail here (<A
href="http://wordgravity.blogspot.com/2006/11/open-space-memorial.html">http://wordgravity.blogspot.com/2006/11/open-space-memorial.html</A>
). People shared deeply from their hearts—including many who thought they
wouldn’t be able to. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">Then in April, my mother-in-law
died. The news arrived at 7:00 pm Tuesday, on the evening of the first day
of Open Space training session here on Gabriola with Raffi. Within an hour
my husband was off on his way across the country to join his family. Raffi
went above and beyond to keep things running smoothly and me together over the
next week. The funeral was scheduled for Saturday morning. I had
done a lot of reading and knew that it was important for my children and I to
remember their Gramma at the same time—some way of being a family
together. But what to do? I had sixteen years of ministerial
experience with plenty of ceremonial and ritual background, but what could I do
that would be meaningful to two six-year-olds and a three-year-old? Open
Space has become my touchstone, so I wondered: Could I adapt OST for our
funeral? Well, as it turned out, yes. And this is how it
went:<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">Ring the
bells.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">Form a
circle.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">Welcome to our time and space to
remember Gramma.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">We are thinking of Daddy and while
he isn’t here, we are just the right people to remember Gramma right now, right
here.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">We don’t know when a life first
begins, but whenever it begins is the right time.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">We don’t know when a life will
end, but when it’s over, it’s over.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">And what happens in between is the
only thing that could have happened.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">Our life together is about
learning and contributing and Gramma has gone now to where she can keep doing
that. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">Our space is open for sharing our
thoughts and feelings about Gramma.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">Time for everyone to
share.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">Placing flowers and
pictures.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">Form a circle so we can all see
each other and feel each other.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">Ring the
bells.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">I was amazed at how easily it
translated. Shouldn’t really have been surprised. I know it might
seem a little bare, but when you are in deep grieving, those few words seem to
take on so much more weight. It seemed to work for my children, brought
them some comfort and closure. And I got to try it out again when our cat
(16) died last month in the heat wave. Seemed to work just as well the
second time.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">I didn’t ever intend to become
experienced in open space and death. But life seems to have other
ideas. Two of my clients are hospices. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">So this is a bit off the beaten
track, but we often talk about living in open space. This is just one
little example of death in it. And I know that some of us out there are
working on integrating our open space life with our family life and this is one
example of how I have used it with my children. I have also used OST
(Stammtische-style) for family meetings and while the three-year-old usually
uses his two feet and is a butterfly, the six-year-olds totally groove on the
post-its and the power. Hope it helps or inspires.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">Cheers,<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">Wendy
<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">Wendy
Farmer-O'Neil</SPAN></FONT><o:p></o:p></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">Prospera Communications &
Consulting Services</SPAN></FONT><o:p></o:p></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">250.713.2351/1.800.713.2351</SPAN></FONT><o:p></o:p></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Georgia size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Georgia">weblog:
www.wordgravity.blogspot.com</SPAN></FONT><o:p></o:p></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Times New Roman" size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P></DIV><BR>
<P><FONT size=2>No virus found in this outgoing message.<BR>Checked by AVG Free
Edition.<BR>Version: 7.5.484 / Virus Database: 269.12.2/966 - Release Date:
8/22/2007 9:05 AM<BR></FONT></P>* *
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