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<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>Well, it seems like I have been doing little else these
days. And while we’ve been talking about circles of life and mutations
of the form, I thought I’d share a bit about my experiences over the past
8 months.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>In November my Grandfather died. I had offered to do
something for the celebration of his life and my Grandmother courageously took
me up on it—she had no idea what OS was, just trusted me. She had a
lot of fear that no one would stand up and speak. She had been to a
traditional celebration not long before and no one had shared anything. I
designed a blend of whole person process and OST that I have blogged about in
detail here (<a
href="http://wordgravity.blogspot.com/2006/11/open-space-memorial.html">http://wordgravity.blogspot.com/2006/11/open-space-memorial.html</a>
). People shared deeply from their hearts—including many who
thought they wouldn’t be able to. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>Then in April, my mother-in-law died. The news
arrived at 7:00 pm Tuesday, on the evening of the first day of Open Space
training session here on Gabriola with Raffi. Within an hour my husband
was off on his way across the country to join his family. Raffi went
above and beyond to keep things running smoothly and me together over the next
week. The funeral was scheduled for Saturday morning. I had done a
lot of reading and knew that it was important for my children and I to remember
their Gramma at the same time—some way of being a family together.
But what to do? I had sixteen years of ministerial experience with plenty
of ceremonial and ritual background, but what could I do that would be
meaningful to two six-year-olds and a three-year-old? Open Space has
become my touchstone, so I wondered: Could I adapt OST for our funeral?
Well, as it turned out, yes. And this is how it went:<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>Ring the bells.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>Form a circle.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>Welcome to our time and space to remember Gramma.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>We are thinking of Daddy and while he isn’t here, we
are just the right people to remember Gramma right now, right here.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>We don’t know when a life first begins, but whenever
it begins is the right time.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>We don’t know when a life will end, but when it’s
over, it’s over.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>And what happens in between is the only thing that could
have happened.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>Our life together is about learning and contributing and
Gramma has gone now to where she can keep doing that. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>Our space is open for sharing our thoughts and feelings
about Gramma.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>Time for everyone to share.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>Placing flowers and pictures.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>Form a circle so we can all see each other and feel each
other.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>Ring the bells.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>I was amazed at how easily it translated. Shouldn’t
really have been surprised. I know it might seem a little bare, but when
you are in deep grieving, those few words seem to take on so much more
weight. It seemed to work for my children, brought them some comfort and
closure. And I got to try it out again when our cat (16) died last month
in the heat wave. Seemed to work just as well the second time.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>I didn’t ever intend to become experienced in open
space and death. But life seems to have other ideas. Two of my
clients are hospices. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>So this is a bit off the beaten track, but we often talk
about living in open space. This is just one little example of death in
it. And I know that some of us out there are working on integrating our
open space life with our family life and this is one example of how I have used
it with my children. I have also used OST (Stammtische-style) for family meetings
and while the three-year-old usually uses his two feet and is a butterfly, the
six-year-olds totally groove on the post-its and the power. Hope it helps or inspires.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>Cheers,<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>Wendy <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>Wendy Farmer-O'Neil</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>Prospera Communications & Consulting Services</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>250.713.2351/1.800.713.2351</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face=Georgia><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Georgia'>weblog: www.wordgravity.blogspot.com</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:
12.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
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