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background-color:><FONT face=Arial size=2>For whatever reason this one didn't
make it to the listserve, too.</FONT><br></DIV>
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<P margin-right:0cm? margin-left:0cm;
background-repeat:repeat; #ffffff; background-color:><FONT face=Arial size=2><BR>Dear Raffi and all,</FONT></P>
<P margin-right:0cm? margin-left:0cm;
background-repeat:repeat; #ffffff; background-color:><FONT face=Arial size=2>I want to pick up your
theme again and contribute a bit of what I found useful to become the facilitator I want to be. And it even seems to fit a little bit with what is happening
on this list in general, right now.</FONT></P>
<P margin-right:0cm? margin-left:0cm;
background-repeat:repeat; #ffffff; background-color:><FONT face=Arial size=2> About a year ago after having
know open space for one and a half year I realized I was still not able
to fully walk my talk. I was not able to live up to the principles of open
space which I had decided to be my life principles as well. There were
situations where I found myself manipulating people instead of inviting them
and being open to who cares to come. There were times where I found it terribly
hard to live with what had happened (the only thing that could
have), wanted things to happen NOW! because I couldn't wait any longer for the time
to become the right time and where I found it hard to let go, to accept
something was over.</FONT></P>
<P margin-right:0cm? margin-left:0cm;
background-repeat:repeat; #ffffff; background-color:><FONT face=Arial size=2>I realized I needed to work with myself, I needed to
build my ability to radically accept others - and "surprise" it turned out
that radically accepting myself was the foundation to accept others. These two abilities
increased hand in hand. (Somehow for me it all comes down to accepting and
appreciating and loving differences.) </FONT></P>
<P margin-right:0cm? margin-left:0cm;
background-repeat:repeat; #ffffff; background-color:><FONT face=Arial size=2> Your question was, "how to deal with agression
when it's there?" I want to go one step beyond and invite to the question,
"where does this agression come from and why do I create it?"</FONT></P>
<P margin-right:0cm? margin-left:0cm;
background-repeat:repeat; #ffffff; background-color:><FONT face=Arial size=2>I believe that we create our feelings, not that
feelings occur as a reaction to an event outside. I have learned that I
permanently have a choice even when I believe I don't. And I have learned that
the feelings I create are directly connected with my belief-system. Let me
explain the steps a little more: </FONT></P>
<P margin-right:0cm? margin-left:0cm;
background-repeat:repeat; #ffffff; background-color:><FONT face=Arial size=2>1. We observe something outside.<BR>First choice:
What do we put our attention to, which beliefs do whe have that filter our
perception?<BR></FONT><FONT face=Arial size=2><BR> 2. We judge what we
have observed, we label it - this time I am not talking about
judging something negative but just putting things in relation to eachother.<BR>Second
choice: How do I choose to judge it? (different people judge the same thing
differently based on their beliefs.) <BR><BR> 3. We create a feeling that
seems to help us deal with the situation we came to see as reality
(and it's always our personal subjective reality!)<BR>Third
choice: Do I want to influence or change the situation? How
do I want to change it? What is the desired outcome? What kind of feeling,
what kind of energy seems to be appropiate to reach my personal
goal?</FONT></P>
<P margin-right:0cm? margin-left:0cm;
background-repeat:repeat; #ffffff; background-color:><FONT face=Arial size=2>Of course
these steps are taken very very fast and usually we
are unaware of them, often we only experience something, than realize what we
feel and than take the event or the person responsible "this makes / you make me
feel...". But to me it's not that way. It's "I make me feel", I myself am
responsible for my feelings.</FONT></P>
<P margin-right:0cm? margin-left:0cm;
background-repeat:repeat; #ffffff; background-color:><FONT face=Arial size=2>Agression to me is an emotion that contains high
energy and power and is based on the need to change something.
So I would probably ask myself: "What do I want to change and why?
What is it I don't want to accept? What is it I want to reach?"
</FONT><FONT face=Arial size=2>I would start exploring beliefs I
have.</FONT></P>
<P margin-right:0cm? margin-left:0cm;
background-repeat:repeat; #ffffff; background-color:><FONT face=Arial size=2>And
secondly I would allow myself to really feel the emotion not supress it. Feeling
an emotion is not the same as acting out of it. It's embrassing it and accepting
myself and being faithful that there is a good reason for me to feel this way.
And when I do this I often come to a deeper layer
- for example agression often seems to be
the reaction to another feeling, a feeling I don't want to feel, something like sadness or helplessness.
</FONT></P>
<P margin-right:0cm? margin-left:0cm;
background-repeat:repeat; #ffffff; background-color:><FONT face=Arial size=2>What helped
me making
big steps was attending a course I have mentioned some time
before. Since</FONT><FONT face=Arial size=2> about a year I work with
"Avatar" (<A href="http://www.avatarepc.com">www.avatarepc.com</A>) and I have become
an Avatar-Master and started giving courses myself. And I am as free, as
self-determined, as able to make my own choices, as liberated from indoctrinated
beliefs and as accepting as I never have been before. And I came
to really like myself. Which seems to be one of the most important things
in life - for being happy and for being the facilitator I want to
be.</FONT></P>
<P margin-right:0cm? margin-left:0cm;
background-repeat:repeat; #ffffff; background-color:><FONT face=Arial size=2>Many regards from Germany,<BR>wishing you all a
joyful day, today.</FONT></P>
<P margin-right:0cm? margin-left:0cm;
background-repeat:repeat; #ffffff; background-color:><FONT face=Arial size=2>Marei</FONT></P></DIV>
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