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<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'>Hello, dear <span class=SpellE>Raffi</span> - <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'>Thank you for sharing your innermost with us. <span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>It is a bit like walking out into the
center of the circle in an Open Space event to post a thorny topic that you
feel passion around but don’t know what will happen when you post it to
the group.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>It takes courage and
surrender, no?<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'>And yet you trusted in yourself and had faith in the unknown and in us
to listen and be present for your questions. <span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>Thank you for that.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'>You said:<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'><font size=2
face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-style:italic;mso-bidi-font-style:
normal'>When I am reminded that OST meetings is about the group and not about
me, I feel very humbled and sad. I am not sure how exactly to really
"be" for the group.<o:p></o:p></span></font></i></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'>-<span class=GramE>and</span>-<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'><font size=2
face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-style:italic;mso-bidi-font-style:
normal'>What are ongoing practices to sort my needs from the <span class=GramE>group's</span>?
What keeps you present as a facilitator during OST?<o:p></o:p></span></font></i></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'>Can you explain a bit more about what makes you sad? <span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I can only interpret what would make you
sad here (not knowing how to be fore the group? Not knowing how to sort your
needs from the <span class=GramE>group’s</span>? Not feeling present??),
and I would like more of your thoughts so I know more what you are saying. <span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'>I think it’s fully human and right to have all kinds of responses
and emotions inside of you, and even some that poke out of you.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>So I would never want you to deny those
feelings.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>My experience is that to
serve a group, I can be fully human and have all sorts of thoughts and feelings
inside but I do best by breathing through them and getting out of my head and
back into the present.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>Because
usually those feelings feel like ‘now’ but actually take me out of ‘the
now’.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>And the work is about
them, not about me.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'>So how to work on whatever it is I am feeling? <span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>If I’m so involved in the issue
that I want to participate I have someone else facilitate.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>And if I have too much going on inside
me I don’t feel clean and clear as a space holder for their work.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I do not, in Open Space, say anything
about their issue in the middle of the process, although in Opening and Closing
sometimes there is a fire or a challenge that I acknowledge they feel and that
now is the time to be part of the change.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'>I also make sure I eat and sleep and rest before any facilitation work,
so I am truly fully present.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'>What are some ways I work on my own ‘stuff’?<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>In the past I have gone to see a
counselor, to sort out the toughest things in my life (times of extreme grief
or relationship issues).<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I know
that is a luxury of access and not available to everyone. <span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>But I have also asked friends to spend
some time with me to hear me out, take me on a walk ‘for an airing’
(even during an Open Space if necessary when the energy was too ‘thick’
in the room), gone for walks, gone away to be quiet.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I’ve done art.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I’ve gardened.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I’ve gotten bodywork (acupuncture
or chiropractic).<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I’ve soaked
in hot baths or gone away to a hot springs for a few days.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I’ve written. <span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I’ve let myself find peace in not
knowing, in not finding answers, and I’ve forgiven myself for being so
hard on myself. I’ve shared my thoughts and struggles with other
facilitators.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>It all depends on the
situation.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'>You also said:<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'><font size=2
face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-style:italic;mso-bidi-font-style:
normal'>Sometimes I worry I am too open here on this list (and in life?). The
energy of 1-2 of the responses led me to think that perhaps my questions are
beginning to dance a little bit too close to the edge of what people on the
listserv feel comfortable talking about.<o:p></o:p></span></font></i></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span class=SpellE><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span
style='font-size:10.0pt'>Raffi</span></font></span>, I welcome your openness on
this list and elsewhere, always knowing that you must use your intuition to
sense if it will work for you and be safe for you. <span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>But if you never shared this with us, how
would we know to love you up and support you around it? <span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>How would we have had this marvelous
opportunity to sort and think and wonder along with you?<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'>And just as in Open Space, we don’t have to come to the
conversation unless we want to.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
</span>Messages have titles.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>We
have delete buttons.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>People who
care will come to ‘your session’.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><span class=GramE>Those who wonder and
care and wrestle with these things will witness and share and breathe with you.</span><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'>I feel honored that you would share these things with us. <span
class=GramE>You’re<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>#</span>@*$(&@#<span
class=SpellE>ing</span> <span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>marvelous
for doing so.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'>Warmly, <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'>Lisa<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;mso-no-proof:yes'>___________________________<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;mso-no-proof:yes'>L i s a<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
</span>H e f t<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;mso-no-proof:yes'>Consultant, Facilitator, Educator<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;mso-no-proof:yes'>O p e n i n g<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
</span>S p a c e<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;mso-no-proof:yes'>2325 Oregon<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;mso-no-proof:yes'>Berkeley, California<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;mso-no-proof:yes'>94705-1106<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
</span>USA<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;mso-no-proof:yes'>+01 510 548-8449<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;mso-no-proof:yes'>lisaheft@openingspace.net<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;mso-no-proof:yes'>www.openingspace.net <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;mso-no-proof:yes'><span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Trebuchet MS"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
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