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<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2><SPAN class=531070400-08122003>Marei
--</SPAN></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2><SPAN
class=531070400-08122003></SPAN></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2><SPAN class=531070400-08122003>Your
words make perfect sense to me. I appreciate your thoughts around meeting
your needs. I agree that as a facilitator my work is to make sure that I
feel good -- that includes the processes I use, staying in integrity with the
group, and have loads of fun!</SPAN></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2><SPAN
class=531070400-08122003></SPAN></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2><SPAN class=531070400-08122003>Thank
you for sharing the words of the gentleman in your closing circle. As to
those who join or not, this is my idea of invitation:</SPAN></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2><SPAN
class=531070400-08122003></SPAN></FONT> </DIV><FONT face=Arial
color=#0000ff>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><FONT color=#000000>I invite
you to my house for a party, I am not insisting that you <?xml:namespace prefix
= o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office"
/><o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><FONT color=#000000>come, I
am not heartbroken if you do not, I am not unable to have my
<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><FONT color=#000000>party
without you there.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>I am simply
inviting, because I want you to <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><FONT color=#000000>know
that I'm having this great party.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>I
may describe it in great <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><FONT color=#000000>detail
so you'll share my vision of how much fun I think it will be:
<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><FONT color=#000000>telling
you about the kind of foods that will be served, the activities
<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><FONT color=#000000>I have
planned, the music that will be playing, etc.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>And I invite you
<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><FONT color=#000000>because
I have a notion that my experience might be enhanced if you
<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><FONT color=#000000>join
us.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>At the same time I am clear in
knowing that if you do not <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><FONT color=#000000>want to
come, if you come anyway, perhaps from a sense of obligation,
<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><FONT color=#000000>you will
NOT add to the experience of the rest of the people at the
<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><FONT color=#000000>party
but detract from it.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>So my
invitation carries with it an <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><FONT color=#000000>implicit
allowing for you not to come if you don't want to.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><FONT
color=#000000> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal
style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><FONT color=#000000><SPAN
class=531070400-08122003>It seem to me that at some level i</SPAN>nviting is
wanting: wanting others to join us.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>It is also allowing: </FONT></SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><FONT color=#000000>allowing
them not to join in if they choose not to.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>It is not needing, <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<DIV><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT
color=#000000>which is a desperate wanting without the
allowing.</FONT></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT
color=#000000></FONT></SPAN> </DIV>
<DIV><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN
class=531070400-08122003><FONT color=#000000>Today, we experienced the gift of
the first snow and I'm feeling the "invitation" to bond with
it!!</FONT></SPAN></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN
class=531070400-08122003><FONT color=#000000></FONT></SPAN></SPAN> </DIV>
<DIV><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN
class=531070400-08122003><FONT
color=#000000>Judi</FONT></SPAN></SPAN></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2>Judith Richardson,
M.A.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff
size=2>www.ponoconsultants.com</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff
size=2>www.emergentfeminine.com</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2>Halifax, Nova Scotia,
Canada</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2>(902)
434-6695</FONT></DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV class=OutlookMessageHeader dir=ltr align=left><FONT face=Tahoma
size=2>-----Original Message-----<BR><B>From:</B> OSLIST
[mailto:OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU]<B>On Behalf Of </B>Marei
Kiele<BR><B>Sent:</B> Sunday, December 07, 2003 7:55 PM<BR><B>To:</B>
OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU<BR><B>Subject:</B> Re: my family (mother
list)<BR><BR></FONT></DIV><FONT face="Courier New" size=2>Sorry for adding
such a long text (thinking of all who only have little time for reading these
mails). </FONT><BR><BR><FONT face="Courier New" size=2>But - after following
this beautiful exchange with rising interest and involvement, tonight I read
many mails I collected during the last days - and my wish to answer and
contribute grew more and more - feeling so limited by not being native
english-speaking.</FONT><BR><FONT face="Courier New" size=2>I really don't
know which one to refer to first.</FONT><BR><FONT face="Courier New" size=2>So
I close my eyes and let my finger choose...</FONT><BR><BR><FONT
face="Courier New" size=2>Chris Corrigan wrote:</FONT><BR><FONT
face="Courier New" color=#0080c0 size=2>There are about 350-400 people on this
list Judi. WAAAY more lurkers</FONT><BR><FONT face="Courier New"
color=#0080c0 size=2>than writers, or more butterflies than
conveners.</FONT><BR><BR><FONT face="Courier New" color=#000000 size=2>Dear
Chris, this sentence opened up a new way of looking at butterflies to
me.</FONT><BR><FONT face="Courier New" color=#000000 size=2>Most times I just
read and do not write on the list, but I don't feel as if I am "only" lurking.
Whenever I add to the list I feel it makes a difference to know there are
hundreds of people reading and listening to what I am saying. Even if they
don't answer or engage. Knowing somebody is there, somebody is taking part,
somebody is witnessing what I do and think makes a difference. In this way we
are all facilitating each other, aren't we?</FONT><BR><BR><BR><FONT
face="Courier New" color=#000000 size=2>Chris Corrigan wrote:</FONT><BR><FONT
face="Courier New" color=#0080c0 size=2>I’ve been pondering Judi and Lisa’s
statements about loving the event-based OST even though we know it could be
better, and I have to admit that even though I tried to come across as getting
tired of them, I like them a lot too. I was trying to figure out WHY I like
them though and wondered if it wasn’t just me…</FONT><FONT face="Courier New"
color=#0080c0 size=2><B>a fatal trap for a facilitator, to meet his own needs
through a pet process</B></FONT><FONT face="Courier New" color=#0080c0
size=2>, and so this had me a little worried…</FONT><BR><BR><FONT
face="Courier New" color=#000000 size=2>Dear Chris and all, I use this
opportunity for adding that esp. on this list we (including myself!) all may
try to become saints - not doing things to meet our own needs - but in fact I
believe meeting our needs is the real reason for all we do. And during the
last weeks I came to see it as a very honourable reason. Meeting my needs does
not automatically implicate that the needs of others are not met. The opposite
is true - I can meet the needs of others best when I take good care of
myself.</FONT><BR><BR><BR><FONT face="Courier New" color=#000000 size=2>Tova
wrote:</FONT><BR><FONT face=Arial color=#0080c0 size=2>>My sensing is that
there are changes in the last few months. I do not know 'the real old days'
but I am around for 4 years now.</FONT><BR><FONT face=Arial color=#0080c0
size=2>>My understanding is that our community is multi focused now and
this is felt, at least by some (me included), as an 'energy </FONT><BR><FONT
face=Arial color=#0080c0 size=2>>leakage', A difficulty to focus enough
energy to go through to new.</FONT><BR><BR><FONT face="Courier New"
color=#000000 size=2>This sentence gave me a new insight into something a man
said in the closing-circle this week. But before I tell you more about him I
want to share something with you: I am proud and delighted and full of
happiness because on last monday and tuesday I facilitated my first open
space. Some of you who met me in Swenmark may recall that I gave up my work as
a product manager nearly two years ago. I went through many struggles, up and
downs, found open space or have been found and fell in love immediately but
didn't dare to get in contact at the first sight. After half a year of more
learning and searching I entered the space at the Berliner OSonOS in june,
came to Bramstrup where I deeply felt I had reached home and found my family,
asked Michael M Pannwitz to let me learn (recall?!) open space being with him
for three months and finally I dived into the river and... swam :-) Of course
I did, because as I know now: I am a dolphin - and I found the liquid I
need.</FONT><BR><BR><FONT face="Courier New" color=#000000 size=2>The os took
place in a business-context with participants who afterwards seem to be hard
work for the start: 38 people, only men (exept three young women who where
very cautious), average age 60, professional background: scientists,
ingenieurs, finance specialists. But of course - it worked! They had fun, they
networked and communicated like never before, they were happy. With at least
one exeption.</FONT><BR><BR><FONT face="Courier New" color=#000000
size=2>Coming back to what Tova wrote (...multi focused... is felt, at least
by some... as an 'energy leakage'):</FONT><BR><BR><FONT face="Courier New"
color=#000000 size=2>This man, being 60+-years old, said he found out that
open space isn't for him and that he is hoping he will never have to
participate in one anymore. First I thought he was not open enough (like "how
limited"). Writing and thinking about it I become less demanding. I realize
how judging I have been. Now I understand it may just have been to much for
him... or to fast. And I wonder if there is any chance to make it easier for
people to SLOWLY get in touch? I guess he may have been overtaxed - coming to
the food-metaphor: as I sometimes feel overtaxed going to the market with all
the fresh vegetable and fruits and decisions to make - there are times when I
prefer a small supermarket with only a small assortement. </FONT><BR><BR><FONT
face="Courier New" color=#000000 size=2>Florian, while reading your
contribution I feel how I slow down. And I feel this healing energy you give
to me. Is this the answer to my above posted question? Making it possible for
others to join by slowing down? But what about those who are
fast?</FONT><BR><BR><FONT face="Courier New" color=#000000 size=2>And one more
question to mix you all up the way I am NOW (exactly midnight in Germany):
Maybe it is still judging to think it was too much. Because hidden in this
thought is the idea that everyone could find his or her paradise in open
space. Which implicates not to accept the choice of all who find their
paradise somewhere else. </FONT><BR><BR><FONT face="Courier New" color=#000000
size=2>Does all this make sense to you?</FONT><BR><BR><FONT face="Courier New"
color=#000000 size=2>Marei</FONT><BR><BR><BR>* *
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