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<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 color=navy face="Times New Roman"><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'>Thanks, Birgitt.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>That helps me understand your point of view.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 color=navy face="Times New Roman"><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 color=navy face="Times New Roman"><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'>Julie<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 color=navy face="Times New Roman"><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=2 face=Tahoma><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Tahoma'>-----Original Message-----<br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>From:</span></b> OSLIST
[mailto:OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU] <b><span style='font-weight:bold'>On
Behalf Of </span></b>Birgitt Williams<br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>Sent:</span></b> Monday, September 22, 2003
11:57 AM<br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>To:</span></b> OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU<br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>Subject:</span></b> Re: Attachment and
Detachment</span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Arial Black"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial Black";
color:navy'>Thanks for your posting, Julie. For me, love is a state of being
and not an emotion. And so, for me, detachment from emotional attachment to
outcome, to create the most space possible is 'detachment with love'. </span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy face=Arial><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>Blessings to you and to
all with whom you make Genuine Contact,<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy face=Arial><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>Birgitt<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=black face=Arial><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'>Birgitt Williams of
Dalar International Consultancy </span></font><font size=2 color=navy
face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><a
href="http://www.dalarinternational.com/"><font size=3 color=black><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;color:black'>www.dalarinternational.com</span></font></a></span></font><font
color=black face=Arial><span style='font-family:Arial;color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy face=Arial><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>We provide inspirational
and practical “how to” guidance for leaders who want to achieve healthy and
balanced organizations to produce exciting, tangible results for the
organization and for its people.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=black
face=Arial><span style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt;font-family:
Arial;color:black'>View the calendar for upcoming training in the
Organizational Health and Balance series of workshops featuring the Genuine
Contact</span></font><font color=black face=Symbol><span style='mso-bidi-font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-ascii-font-family:Arial;mso-hansi-font-family:
Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:black;mso-char-type:symbol;mso-symbol-font-family:
Symbol'><span style='mso-char-type:symbol;mso-symbol-font-family:Symbol'>Ô</span></span></font><font
color=black face=Arial><span style='mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;
color:black'> program at <a
href="http://www.openspacetechnology.com/training.html"><font color=black><span
style='mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:black'>http://www.openspacetechnology.com/training.html</span></font></a></span></font><font
color=black face=Arial><span style='font-family:Arial;color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoAutoSig style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=black
face=Arial><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'>We
invite you to join the Genuine Contact list serve at </span></font><font
color=black face=Arial><span style='mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;
color:black'><a href="http://www.smartgroups.com/groups/genuinecontact"><font
color=black><span style='mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:black'>http://www.smartgroups.com/groups/genuinecontact</span></font></a><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoAutoSig style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=black
face=Arial><span style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt;font-family:
Arial;color:black'>Contact information for Dalar International Consultancy: Po
Box 19373, Raleigh, North Carolina, USA 27619 Raleigh, North Carolina USA </span></font><font
color=black face=Arial><span style='font-family:Arial;color:black'><span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span></span></font><font color=black
face=Arial><span style='mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'>Phone:
919-522-7750<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>Fax: 919-870-6599<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoAutoSig align=center style='margin-left:.5in;text-align:center'><font
size=2 color=purple face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:purple'>Founders of the Wellness Revolution for
Organizations<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoAutoSig align=center style='margin-left:.5in;text-align:center'><font
size=2 color=purple face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:purple'>Founders of the International Alliance
for Mentoring<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoAutoSig align=center style='margin-left:.5in;text-align:center'><font
size=2 color=purple face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:purple'>Creators of the </span></font><font
size=2 color=purple face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;
color:purple'>Organizational Health and Balance series of workshops featuring
the Genuine Contact</span></font><font size=2 color=purple face=Symbol><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-ascii-font-family:Arial;
mso-hansi-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:purple;mso-char-type:
symbol;mso-symbol-font-family:Symbol'><span style='mso-char-type:symbol;
mso-symbol-font-family:Symbol'>Ô</span></span></font><font size=2 color=purple
face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:purple'>
program</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<blockquote style='margin-top:5.0pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:5.0pt'>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:0in;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:
12.0pt;margin-left:.5in'><font size=2 face=Tahoma><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:Tahoma'>-----Original Message-----<br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>From:</span></b> OSLIST [mailto:OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU]<b><span
style='font-weight:bold'>On Behalf Of </span></b>Julie Smith<br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>Sent:</span></b> Monday, September 22, 2003
2:16 PM<br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>To:</span></b> OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU<br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>Subject:</span></b> Attachment and Detachment</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'>Birgitt, you
wrote<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:1.0in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Arial Black"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial Black";
color:navy'>Our Harmony Project was specifically a calling to those who work
with 'opening space and holding space' to use their special gifts to assist
in holding space for opportunities for Harmony. And the challenge for
those hundreds of us who are now co-facilitating the holding of this space is
to do so by holding steady with emotional detachment no matter what is
happening in the world and to have NO attachment to outcome, just the same as
we teach with working with Open Space Technology. And that is hard, as all
those of you who facilitate OST meetings that you are inclined to feel
emotional about well know.</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'>Your thoughts
about “emotional detachment no matter what” made me think of my recent
experience with youth during an OST event (where I was clearly not emotionally
detached), and also John’s recent post, where he said<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none'><font
size=2 face="Courier New"><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Courier New"'>i
appreciate what you are saying. i believe your words have great value. but,
there are many many things that i confront regularly that i cannot appreciate,
nor do i feel it appropriate to appreciate: torture and other violations of
human rights.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none'><font
size=2 face="Courier New"><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Courier New"'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none'><font
size=2 face="Courier New"><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Courier New"'>fortunately,
many of us enjoy a life where such terror is nothing more than a distant grief.
for all too many people, it is not distant at all.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none'><font
size=2 face="Courier New"><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Courier New"'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=2 face="Courier New"><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Courier New"'>let us stay grounded in the
reality of the whole and not of a certain portion.</span></font><font
color=navy><span style='color:navy'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'>I see the
truth and wisdom of detachment, and have practiced “no attachment to outcome”
for many years.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I also recognize our
need to give and receive care and love, which I think is a form of
attachment.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>We are in relationship with
each other.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>We care what happens to each
other.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>That is not detachment.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>So I find myself trying to find some
resolution that honors the truth being expressed in both points of view.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'>I think the
“no attachment to outcome” applies to the choices people make, but not to the
people themselves.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>It applies to the
behavior, not the person.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>That means I
can begin to practice acceptance and non-judgment.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>This is easier when I see behavior not as a
reflection of the “goodness” or “badness” of a person, but simply as a
reflection of their current understanding of the world, and therefore a
reflection of their current learning needs.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
</span><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'>I can see that
our behaviors have consequences, and that we are all constantly learning from
every choice we make.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>That learning is a
very good thing, and is perhaps the very reason for our being here.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I have no desire to get in the way of our
learning.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I believe we have as many
lifetimes as we need to learn what we came here to learn, so I am willing to
accept even the worst atrocities as an accurate reflection of the learning
needs of those who are involved.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I can
also see that my current learning need is to learn to transcend fear-based and
non-loving responses.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>When I look
through this lens, I can see that the harmful behavior of others provides me
with opportunities to practice loving response in all situations.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>This is a lesson I have not yet
mastered.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>So perhaps I feel some
appreciation for the lessons that are available to all of us in every kind of
situation.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'>At the same
time, I cannot ignore my heart-felt desire for the good of all.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I care.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
</span>I wouldn’t have it any other way.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
</span>If there is some giving or receiving that I can do that will help
alleviate harm, or help myself and others progress a little more quickly in our
understanding of the world, then I want to make that contribution.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I am not detached from helping.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>If I can, I want to help.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>Sometimes I help with my silence, and
sometimes with my words.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>Sometimes with
my invisibility, and sometimes with my visibility.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>If I can’t help, I want to do no harm to
anyone, including those who are inflicting harm on others.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'>I find myself
feeling very attached to our individual and collective learning and
growth.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I’m not concerned about the
outcome because I think that is a certainty, but I think it matters that I
actively engage in the learning process while I’m here.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I don’t think we’re supposed to detach from
that.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I think we’re supposed to detach
from worldly desires, but not from inner growth and understanding.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'>For me, the
important thing is the quality of acceptance and non-judgment.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>To see our behavior as indicators of what we
need to learn, not as a reflection of our goodness or badness.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>Always, always love the person.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>Detach from judgment of outward
behavior.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>Don’t detach from the learning
and inner growth which leads to wisdom and truth.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'>Back to yin
and yang, I guess.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>Attachment and
detachment.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>Speaking and silence.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>Visibility and invisibility.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>Finding wholeness in the whole.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'>This doesn’t
feel complete, but I can’t quite capture whatever it is that is missing, and
the day calls ~<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'>Julie<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=navy
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none'><font
size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
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