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<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color="#333399" face=Arial><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:#333399'>Greetings Birgitt,<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color="#333399" face=Arial><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:#333399'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color="#333399" face=Arial><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:#333399'>Thank you for your
detailed explanation of how conflict resolution and OST weave together in your
practice.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>You captured what has been the
deepest learning for me about OS when you said:<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
</span><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color="#333399" face=Arial><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:#333399'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><span class=EmailStyle19><font
size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:
12.0pt'>Most frequently, conflict is resolved in either of these processes by
the participants themselves, without anyone else needing to be involved. It is not
because the people necessarily wanted to resolve the conflict, but because they
want to get on with the business<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
</span>opportunities for which they have passion and recognize for themselves
that the conflict needs to be resolved to get on with it. Their passion takes
them beyond their attachment to victim behavior, their passion takes them
beyond their attachment to conflict….<o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><span class=EmailStyle19><font
size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:
12.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span class=EmailStyle19><font size=2 color="#333399"
face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:#333399'>When
I think about some of the employment mediations I’ve been involved in, I
think of the myriad overlapping issues and people who were talked about as
contributing in some way to the conflict, but who were not involved directly in
the mediation because they were not the primary participants in the
conflict.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>And I think about the people
who would sit in my office drawing diagrams of how the organization could work
if things were restructured to better suit the people who worked there, and
then throwing up their hands because their ideas were too big for the process
that was offered to them.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>Those issues
felt too big for mediation because the stated task, the given, was to resolve
the conflict between a small group of people, and not to restructure the
organization.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I can see how in these
kinds of situations, opening up the space and invoking the law of two feet
could lead to dramatic and positive change within an organization.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I can also see how upper management might
resist large-scale opening space and change, and might desire and ask for
mediation as a way to resolve the most obvious and pressing conflicts within
the organization without requiring THEM to significantly engage or change.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span class=EmailStyle19><font size=2 color="#333399"
face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:#333399'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span class=EmailStyle19><font size=2 color="#333399"
face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:#333399'>Someone
here recently said something about working at providing people as much space as
they can take.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I think that’s
right.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>For example, mediation is often
much better for individuals and organizations than the grievance process.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>If management is willing to go with
mediation, but isn’t ready for OS, then mediation might be the best we
can do.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I’ve also seen
organizations engage staff in collaborative negotiation trainings, to help
people learn to solve problems on their own before they turn into larger
problems.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>That also seems to me to be a
health-inducing decision very much in keeping with the values of
OS…..<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><span class=GramE>in</span>
OS lingo, a way of teaching people how to open space in a circle of two.<o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span class=EmailStyle19><font size=2 color="#333399"
face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:#333399'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span class=EmailStyle19><font size=2 color="#333399"
face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:#333399'>I
think mediation also has a place in situations that OS doesn’t approach
(or hasn’t yet approached, to my knowledge).<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I’m thinking of situations where people
perceive it is not in their best interest to invoke the law of two feet.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>Sometimes the conflict really does need to be
dealt with openly and directly between the people who are in it.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>In those situations, mediation can be a very
simple, elegant, and powerful process.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><span
class=GramE>In many ways, like OS.</span><span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
</span><span class=GramE>Also a little different.</span><span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I think people who are in intense conflict
who come to mediation experience considerable stress and anxiety about the
conflict and the mediation.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>From what I
know so far, they need more support than the typical OS participant.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>As a result, most mediators openly engage at
a deeper level with participants than does an OS facilitator (as I understand
it).<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>Mediators don’t engage in an
effort to control or to solve the problem, but to provide enough understanding
and emotional safety that each person can tolerate the stress of sustained
interaction with the person they are in conflict with.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span class=EmailStyle19><font size=2 color="#333399"
face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:#333399'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span class=EmailStyle19><font size=2 color="#333399"
face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:#333399'>Sometimes
I think of mediation as creating circles of two: me and A, and then me and B,
and then back again, talking about what has happened, how it felt, and how it
feels.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>As those circles become comfortable
and A and B relax within their individual circles with me, learning to trust
that they will be listened to and understood, they gradually reach out to each
other.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>For a time, they hang onto their
relationship with me as support, and we create a circle of three.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>As they become more comfortable, they leave
me behind, and create their own circle of two.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
</span>(This is my favorite part.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I think
of myself as blending into the wallpaper of the room….. <span
class=GramE>present</span> but unnoticed.)<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
</span>Often something difficult will be said, fear will rise, and one or both
will reach back to me for support, and we’re back to a circle of
three.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I will help summarize or clarify
or validate, working toward deeper understanding, the fear will diminish, and
they go back to their circle of two.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
</span>Eventually, if they choose to, they will reach a new understanding, and
perhaps a formal or informal agreement.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span class=EmailStyle19><font size=2 color="#333399"
face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:#333399'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span class=EmailStyle19><font size=2 color="#333399"
face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:#333399'>It
seems to me that OS and mediation and other processes are tools.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>My husband, the carpenter, has many
tools.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>Each is ideally suited for
different tasks.<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>His skill is to
understand the best use of each tool, and to use it accordingly.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>I think the same is true of the work we do.<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span class=EmailStyle19><font size=2 color="#333399"
face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:#333399'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span class=EmailStyle19><font size=2 color="#333399"
face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:#333399'>Julie<o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span class=EmailStyle19><font size=2 color="#333399"
face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:#333399'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><font size=2 face="Courier New"><span style='font-size:
10.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
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