[OSList] What to do when a conflicted and important part is missing?

Harrison Owen hhowen at verizon.net
Wed May 29 09:14:05 PDT 2013


Eleder – A painful pickle for sure! This may be one of those cases where
that old favorite medicine of experienced physicians is the only cure:
“Tincture of Time.” But I think there may be some alternatives, as well as a
few thoughts about why your efforts to date have been less than productive.

 

Taking these in reverse order – Why didn’t things work out as you hoped? Or
more immediately, why didn’t the people come? The obvious and simple answer
is that they didn’t care to. We have learned, I think, that good things
happen when people share a common concern. There may be a large diversity of
opinions relative to that concern, but they never-the-less care (hopefully
with some passion) about a shared concern. That “shared concern” is the
natural focal point for any Open Space and represents the core of the theme.


 

I think this may be the nub of your problem, because if I read you right,
the theme of your Open Space was one thing that a majority of the people,
particularly those you really wanted to come, simply had no interest in
discussing. (“Open Space on the ways to include everybody´s opinions in the
decisions of the small town.”). You are doubtless correct in thinking that
this issue is worthy of discussion – but that makes it YOUR issue, and not
necessarily theirs. And if it ain’t “theirs” they won’t care – and absent
caring, they won’t come. Which turned out to be the case.

 

What about alternatives? If I heard you correctly, there is a large amount
of pain and distrust amongst the people – which may be justified or not –
but it is there and destructive. Some people may call it a “communication
problem” which is rather a mild way of talking about a very difficult
situation – which definitely requires a “fix.” But one of the things I have
learned (painfully) over the years is that “fixing a communication problem”
is rarely if ever (“never.” in my experience) accomplished by talking about
it. The discussions tend to be puerile and abstract except for people
interested in communications (“process” people like us). Most people, I find
don’t want to “talk” about “communications”
 but they do want and need to
communicate. So it is more about “doing” and not so much about process and
techniques. I know this statement will not sit well with those invested in
all those tools – but it is my constant experience that when people truly
care about a common issue and need to communicate to get something done –
they do it with excellence.  That of course is the lesson of every
significant Open Space I have ever seen. Happens every time PROVIDED the
focal issue is a matter of serious, common concern – what I often call a
“real business issue.”

 

I think there may be some strategy here for your situation. First off – Give
up trying to invite people to talk about communication. A friend of mine
used to say that such efforts were pretty much like trying to teach a pig to
sing: It sounds terrible and annoys the pig! Instead – look for an issue, or
multiple issues, where there is genuine, existential, practical, common
concern. Potholes in the roads, sewage treatment, education for the kids,
help with the old folks, -- and then invite those who care to come. And they
will. Chances are good that they will make some positive steps on the issues
of their concern – but more important for your concern THEY WILL
COMMUNICATE. They will build mutual trust and respect if they care to do
that. 

 

It is also possible, of course, that the people involved really are
miserable, hateful creatures, unworthy of any trust or respect. I think that
is quite unlikely, but it could be true. And if so, the only sane approach
is to leave town and go and do something useful (Law of two Feet). But I
seriously doubt you are there yet – Much more likely the people involved are
fundamentally good hearts needing only an invitation to engage issues they
really care about.

 

Harrison

 

Harrison Owen

7808 River Falls Dr.

Potomac, MD 20854

USA

 

189 Beaucaire Ave. (summer)

Camden, Maine 04843

 

Phone 301-365-2093

(summer)  207-763-3261

 

www.openspaceworld.com 

www.ho-image.com (Personal Website)

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From: oslist-bounces at lists.openspacetech.org
[mailto:oslist-bounces at lists.openspacetech.org] On Behalf Of Eleder_BuM
Sent: Wednesday, May 29, 2013 7:39 AM
To: World wide Open Space Technology email list
Subject: [OSList] What to do when a conflicted and important part is
missing?

 

After the second Open Space (this one 4 hours one) in the small self-managed
village (some messages before on this list, under " How do we invite key and
high conflicted people?" subject), a main question remains inside me.

What would you do if a conflicted and important part of the community is
missing and has no intention to join & the promotors seem unable to invite
properly? #InvitationProcess
<https://twitter.com/#%21/search?q=%23InvitationProcess>  #Conflict
<https://twitter.com/#%21/search?q=%23Conflict>  #OpenSpace
<https://twitter.com/#%21/search?q=%23OpenSpace> 


Some weeks ago we had an Open Space on the ways to include everybody´s
opinions in the decissions of the small town. A big part of the villagers
said in advance that they would no way come. They feel very hurted about
some quarrels last years in the council commitees,...

The "other side" (the own in power, the majority and the promotors of these
events) is also very hurted. 

The invitation process should be in this case, I think, very long, patient,
cautious, loving,... and they don´t seem to be able to do the job now.

Does it make any sense to do another OS with this feeling of impotence?

Should we try some conflict resolution before inviting for another OS?

Or maybe such an invitation process (very long, patient, cautious,
loving,...) and a long 1´5 or 2´5 day OS would be the good "cure"? 

Should the facilitator lead the invitation process, in an additional
mediator role?

I´m quite lost in the process, letting go, and present all the time, with
this duty on the back of my mind,...


Enjoy life!

 <http://twitter.com/Eleder_BuM> @Eleder_BuM
 <http://www.burumapak.blogspot.com/> www.burumapak.blogspot.com (Basque)  
 <http://www.in-fluyendo.blogspot.com/> www.in-fluyendo.blogspot.com (Sp.)
 <http://www.flowandshow.blogspot.com/> www.flowandshow.blogspot.com (En)
 <http://www.bilbohiria.com/gaika/berbaz>
http://www.bilbohiria.com/gaika/berbaz (radio interviews)

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