Shy people... (?) (or shy systems...?)

Sun Jul 25 21:46:42 PDT 2010

you remind me, peggy, that perhaps the slowest opening i can remember was in
asia (singapore) and then there was a region montessori educators conference
where i actually have video of the first several people literally running
for the markers, from the edge of a circle of 250.  also, that the breadth
of the question makes a difference, as it sets up that situation you
describe, not knowing what/how to post.  the other thing that helps create
that condition is significant diversity where people don't (yet) share much
history... so they don't necessarily know each other's language, so to
speak.  that's when even more than butterflies, it helps to have a second
day, so that morning news can invite new topics.  by then, people have been
able to connect enough to know how to express their issue in words that
other will understand.

m

--

Michael Herman
Michael Herman Associates

http://MichaelHerman.com
http://RonanParkTrail.com
http://ManorNeighbors.com
http://ChicagoConservationCorps.org
http://OpenSpaceWorld.org

312-280-7838 (mobile)

On Sun, Jul 25, 2010 at 12:05 PM, Peggy Holman
<peggy at opencirclecompany.com>wrote:

> Jon,
>
> Thanks for the marvelous summary of the many aspects of shyness or other
> qualities posing as shyness.  So much wisdom!  I've got a few small items to
> add to all that's been said.
>
> I've noticed that the more hierarchical the organization, the longer it
> seems to takes before someone steps in to post a session.  Have others
> noticed that?  I suspect to Michael Herman's point, it has much to do with
> how real people sense the invitation is.
>
> As several have already said, the quality of the space -- knowing who and
> what is welcome - matters.
>
> I did an Open Space with Buddhist monks years ago.  It's the longest I've
> ever seen it take before someone stepped in.  Once I'd opened the space, we
> all sat breathing for several minutes.  At least it seemed like several
> minutes.  Ultimately the youngest monk in the room posted a session.  Once
> the ice was broken, there was a rush to the center.
>
> A few years later, with a group of journalists, they entered the circle one
> at a time, trickling in ever so slooowly.  One "shy" journalist waited until
> people had headed to their sessions.  He then went to the wall and added his
> session, never announcing it.  Since most people go back to check the
> agenda, his session was there for all to see.
>
> On a completely different note, sometimes I think shyness is a result of
> not quite knowing how to express a notion.  If someone doesn't know how to
> say what they want, how can they possibly post a session?  I find that's one
> of the great values of butterflies.  Often those nagging ideas that we can't
> quite put into words get worked through in an intimate side conversation.
>  With a bit more clarity, someone finds their voice and posts a session
> later in the day or the following day.  That's part of why I prefer multiple
> day OS gatherings.  So many seeds get planted on the first day that get a
> chance to show themselves on day two.
>
> Thanks for sparking a great exchange,
> Peggy
>
>
> _________________________________
> Peggy Holman
> peggy at peggyholman.com
>
> 15347 SE 49th Place
> Bellevue, WA  98006
> 425-746-6274
> www.peggyholman.com
> www.journalismthatmatters.org
>
> Coming in September
> Engaging Emergence: Turning Upheaval into Opportunity
> www.engagingemergence.com
>
> For the second edition of The Change Handbook, go to:
> www.bkconnection.com/ChangeHandbook
>
> "An angel told me that the only way to step into the fire and not get
> burnt, is to become
> the fire".
>   -- Drew Dellinger
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> On Jul 22, 2010, at 10:09 AM, Jon Harvey wrote:
>
> Thank you all for your wisdom and experience. I had a feeling my inquiry
> would tap into a rich seam of insights and practice... But where to begin to
> respond...! I will take the points in the order they appear in my email
> intray:
>
> *Mamading*: we meet again! (Were you there on Tuesday at NESTA btw – you
> may not have spotted me hiding behind a couple croissants with Emmental
> cheese in them?!) Do tell us more about these Labs. And, I think implicit,
> in your comment is an idea that people and organisations / partnerships /
> systems / communities can make more of OS on a second, third, fourth visit
> etc. I know that to be true.
>
> *Barry*: the ‘shy’ (and more of that later) people may well hang back and
> butterfly, but sometimes butterflies don’t tap into their own passion and
> can drift off – actually or mentally or both. I know, que sera, sera
> (whatever happens etc.) – but your comment has prompted me to spend more
> next time working with the sponsor. (Yes these reflections do all come from
> a recent experience.) The sponsor needs to be as relaxed as I am with the
> magic of the process.
>
> *Jack*: things are good thanks – *bleating* (blogging & tweeting combined
> – term coined by my wife to refer to my activity in my study / garret) like
> mad to get OS & whole system stuff woven into the fabric of the #bigsociety.
> I like the idea of a living agenda wall that can ebb and flow – and indeed
> try to practice this. Perhaps this Agenda Wall 2.0....? (sort of! – although
> it always has been) But I also hear what Lisa says in her later mail.
>
> *Harrison*: Not for the first time, I do wish I could have you as an app
> on my smart phone so that I could tap ‘you’ and get an immediate response of
> ‘this is what Harrison would do / say!’ Thank you for your story – you are
> so good at those – I will endeavour to imbibe fully and remember at a
> suitable later date. And you are right of course, it *is* about passion. I
> guess I remain interested in what there can be in the system (see below) or
> zeitgeist present whereby people with passion do *not* come forward... and
> as a facilitator what role I have (if any) in ‘tweaking’ the system in
> advance of the OS process...
>
> *Michael*: you are correct of course – it is rarely about ‘shyness’ or the
> individuals themselves. Indeed it was my reflection on the recent series of
> OS that I did – that, in part, there was some ‘leaden’ systemic cultures
> present. And quiet is not shy – absolutely true! And there has to be a first
> meeting so that there can be a second – when people might ‘dare’ a little
> more. As always every OS is a success – but (and back to my earlier point) –
> just what that success looks like may not be quite what the sponsor had in
> mind – which touches on my role as preparation guide. Their role as
> ‘inviter’ and ‘open space pilot’ is of course critical.
>
> *Phelim*: I agree, there are some very practical things we can say – I
> like your phrases. Again I will seek to imbibe those. Certainly I always aim
> to ‘be’ and ‘hold the space’ with a gentle and almost wispy presence –
> quietly content with the silence. (My father had a piece of gristle on one
> ear which made it look a little pointed and he would claim he was half
> pixie. So, as a quarter pixie, I try to have a wispy presence...! )  For me
> making it easy is a stepping back not a stepping forward. And as for the
> number of sessions – in one OS of the recent series, a total of two sessions
> were proposed... so near perfect success! It was surprising! The chocolate
> was good as well.
>
> *Sharon*: You are right – exploring the passion beforehand is critical. In
> hindsight, the sponsor was surprised by where the passion was after the
> first OS – he (and therefore I as he had briefed me) expected a different
> quality of passion to one that we in fact experienced. On reflection, I now
> know it would have been wiser to hear a few more of the ‘ordinary’ voices
> beforehand. And working through to what is the ‘right’ issue / theme /
> question is really, really important.
>
> *Lisa*: Given all of the above, I value your assertion that there can be
> some,  a small amount perhaps, shyness amongst some people. I think I can
> sometimes overlook how ‘heavy’ a microphone is for some people. Maybe I am
> not alone in this – although maybe I am. Can you post your ‘face’ on
> youtube?! But I think I can imagine it from your description. I do have my
> ‘face’ too. (Although there is another debate to be had about where we go
> after the intro stuff. I usually step outside the circle – whereas from what
> you say, I am imagining you sitting in the circle...???) I need to keep
> reminding myself that there is solid presence in silence. Being an extravert
> – I may not always see this. And thank you for highlighting the issue of
> power which others have touched on too.
>
> So again – thank you all for this online tutorial. I feel enriched and
> empowered – and not a little renewed too!
>
> A sprinkling of pixie dust to you all!
>
> Jon
>
>
> _______________________________________________________________________________
>
> *Jon Harvey*
> Director
>
> " www.jonharveyassociates.co.uk
>
> ( +44 (0) 7771 537535
> ( +44 (0) 1280 822585
> *›** * jon at jonharveyassociates.co.uk
> *¹**  **Skype*: jonsharvey**
>
> *Helping you connect the prose and the passion*
> *to deliver superlative results*
>
> http://smallcreativeideas.blogspot.com/  for ideas about how to improve
> the efficiency & effectiveness of public & third sector services
> http://jonharveyassociates.blogspot.com/ for articles & ideas about
> leadership and organisational change from a whole systems perspective
> http://twitter.com/JonSHarvey for conversations, ideas & questions to help
> build a more ambitious, creative and fair world
> http://tinyurl.com/JonHarveyLI to connect with me on LinkedIn
>
>
> *Jon Harvey Associates Ltd*
> *Registered Office: Chandos House, School Lane, Buckingham, MK18 1HD*
> *Company Number 6661588. VAT Registration Number 936 2921 11*
>
> *Please consider the environment before printing this email. Thank you.*
> *All business mileage is offset with **http://www.carbon-clear.com*<http://www.carbon-clear.com/uk/index.php>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> * * ==========================================================
> OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU ------------------------------ To
> subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of
> oslist at listserv.boisestate.edu:
> http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about
> OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist
>
>
> * * ==========================================================
> OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU ------------------------------ To
> subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of
> oslist at listserv.boisestate.edu:
> http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about
> OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist
>

*
*
==========================================================
OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
------------------------------
To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options,
view the archives of oslist at listserv.boisestate.edu:
http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html

To learn about OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs:
http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.openspacetech.org/pipermail/oslist-openspacetech.org/attachments/20100725/154b9439/attachment-0016.htm>