An "Open Space Family" Christmas Story (very long)

Sat Jan 2 19:30:19 PST 2010

Sorry folks if you are receiving this in duplicate.  It did not post on my
computer nor did it on someone else's on the OS list who suggested I
resend.  Was so excited by this Open Space family story and felt I wanted to
share with you all:  my special second family.   :-}

*Christmas story posted on Jan 1, 2010*

On December 15th, Harrison invited some serious collective thinking about
“Opening space 24 X 7” and what that might mean. His reflective question and
invitation sparked the idea to “open space” in my family over the Christmas
holidays. What transpired was an Open Space event on December 28th 2009 –a
day that touched our family and friends in a way that we will never forget.

What began as a spark of an idea turned into Open Space pre-work leading to
a family gathering invitation by my 16-year old niece Emily who became the
official host and her 33-year-old cousin Charlie as co-collaborator.  We
communicated by conference call: me in Florida, Emily in New York state and
Charlie in New Brunswick, Canada. We decided to invite family *and * friends.
We created a theme: *“If I could change MY world or OUR world just a little
bit…”* We crafted a few supporting questions like (What am I passionate
about? What makes me happy? Who am I? Who do I want to be? How can I make a
difference?). We set up a NING site and my sister Monique in Canada took
charge of finding a place to meet, handling a bunch of logistics. We planned
a 4-hour event followed by supper and an evening of live music showcasing
the homegrown talent of nieces, nephews and others. The excitement and
anticipation was palpable. The traditional holiday gift-giving and eating
seemed to take second place.

Worth noting that I had not seen either Emily or Charlie in years and
truthfully, we hardly knew each other…in the sense of really knowing each
other.  Like typical parents and siblings, my brother would speak of his
kids (he has four), my sister would share happenings about her grown-up
adolescents (2) and I would do the same with my daughter.  Like most
families, when some of us got together, we’d all greet and hug each other as
everyone arrived and soon after, groups had formed with the young people
hanging out in a corner of the house playing video games or watching a movie
and the adults sitting on comfortable couches and chairs catching up over a
beer or a glass of wine.  We’d have meals in the same house, but typically,
we’d be spread out all over the place.  *This* family gathering was very
different…a first and certainly not a last!

One of the biggest firsts from this special day is that it was the *“first”
* time all of us siblings got together at Christmas in 30 years.  Had it not
been for Open Space, this would not have happened.  I was supposed to be in
Connecticut; my sister was planning to spend quiet time at home in Toronto,
Canada, while my brother and  my other sister and their families would be in
New Brunswick Canada for the holiday.  The “24 x 7” invitation changed all
that. It sparked the idea to hold a family Open Space and before we knew it,
we were scrambling to find cheap last minute airplane tickets to get to New
Brunswick.

Now to the Big Day!  We all had our name tags with lots of nervous energy
and excitement to go with it. The chairs were set in a giant circle (we were
about 30), the posters were up, big white sheets on the floor with
lots of  markers,
our Empty Marketplace Wall was waiting for topics and the hand-drawn banner
theme that Emily made was hung up.  Charlie welcomed everyone and handled
the logistics (ie. bathroom, schedule, and turning off cell phones). He then
introduced Emily. She starts by telling the story of how and why we were all
here, expressing how happy she was and then introduces her Aunt Sue.  With a
lump in my throat, I walk the circle feeling all eyes on me, knowing
how different it feels for them to be here sitting in a circle.  Like all
the other Open Spaces I had facilitated, I recognized this nervousness and
knew many of the unspoken questions in their heads:  “Will I need to speak
in public? What is going to happen? Why am I here? What are all these
posters on the wall and white sheets in the middle of the floor?”  I felt
the nervousness too: this was my family and I knew how much they wanted this
to be a successful day for Emily, for Charlie and for me. I knew the family
history – a typical loving and sometimes stressed out family, each juggling
busy lives as parents with active careers or kids with packed schedules,
many of us working way too hard, doing the best we can, often feeling it’s
never enough. Some were visibly uncomfortable having shared quietly with me
before that they were introverts and didn’t really like ``this kind of
stuff``.

Well as always happens in Open Space, any doubt anybody had was immediately
erased. The worries wondering if anyone would write a topic disappeared in
an instant with the most introvert attendee (an accountant) being the first
on his knees writing a topic.  I had invited everyone in our opening remarks
to pretend they had no age and to remember what it felt like to be 10, 14 or
16 again or if young, to imagine themselves older.  The most introvert, the
one with little hair on his head, broke the ice as he announced his topic by
saying: “I’m Dan and right now I am 19  -- a time when I had lots of hair
just like Charlie (his goes to his shoulders)”.   The self-organizing magic
had done its thing!
What surprised me though and truly brought tears to my eyes were the topics
themselves, the depth, the passion, the caring and the universal subjects so
common in Open Space.  Add to this the quality of the conversations that I,
as a facilitator, could not be part of but heard much about; the awe the
adults experienced listening to the depth from their kids about life and the
world.
People shopped the marketplace and we then had 2 rounds of conversations on
12 very meaningful topcs. *If you want to know more, please visit our NING
site: http://ostwiththestpierres.ning.com/*

But before you click the link, a last short open space tale about my
10–year-old niece Laura (Emily’s sister) who stole the day…almost!  Her
topic:  “How can we help the Earth?”   As the initiator, she attracted 4
adults including Frank, a scientist and university professor with a PHD in
marine geology. From what I hear, she more than held her own. Bumble bees
joined and there was Laura engaging her group in shared leadership, she on
the floor taking notes, others on their chairs above with all eyes on her
flip chart, totally engrossed in the conversation. Within an hour, Laura was
at the newsroom, jumping on her computer (we had 5 computers) typing her
report.  Big words, big thoughts, no matter, Laura was part of this group as
equal and expert as any and all of them!

So dear Open Space community, may we all “Open up Space” in our lives 24 X 7
in family, in community or at work because I am convinced, without a shadow
of a doubt, that opening space to have conversations that matter is how we
will touch and improve the world we live in.  In 2009, I learned to `just do
it`` and in 2010, on this first day of a brand New Year, I plan with courage
and conviction to do more of it wherever and whenever I can.

Feeling very grateful in this present moment!

*Suzanne *
http://ostwiththestpierres.ning.com/

-- 
Suzanne Daigle
NuFocus Strategic Group
7159 Victoria Circle
University Park, FL 34201
FL 941-359-8877;  CT 203-722-2009
www.nufocusgroup.com
s.daigle at nufocusgroup.com

*
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