grief work - Funerals in a circle

[Averbuch]

Dear Duff and all

>From my experience in OST events and process grief work is worked out many
times in two venues: 

One venue : The wisdom collected from grief work, "wisdom Circle" so to
speak, happens usually in the wider circle on evening news of the first day
(of 2 days OS event) or morning news of the day after. Yet the shock,  the
anger the denial...and parts and pieces of the wisdom of course are
"butterflired" and grouped at many times (cycles)  in many places. 

Second venue: The preparatory comity/steering comity as the "ritualistic"
container:
I/we always work with a preparatory comity as a microcosmos of the whole:
Meet and choose the question that is burning for them,  explore and make
decision whether OST is the way , challenge the intentions of the
caller/sponsor, creates the where-when-how etc. 

During the event itself anyone who cares to is invited to come to the
evening meeting of the preparatory comity. There we talk and reflect and
share until it is all "talked" (like in a wisdom circle) and then consider
choices, make decisions and do the actual preparations. 

Many times we report out shortly to the whole circle (the next day), about
process and content that took place in the meeting the night before and many
times open a choice point for every one there. 

I always thought of this process as a digestive process on behalf of the
collective... now I see the grief work/digestion that takes place there .

Thank you Michael for bringing up this question and Raffi for making it so
real and personal and present in this circle of us.



And last thought for now:
rapid changes, chaos and agony from all the world brought in the doorway of
every home, endless wars of every kind and so on, alongside with a palpable
sense of possibility for each and every one -  put new challenges on grief
work. I really feel the overwhelm and think that grief work is in a
desperate need of revisiting, maybe reinvention.

 Anyone feels moved to join the circle of revisiting Grief work in the 21
century? 
I promise to join the minute I'll stop grieving :) ....

All my love 
Tova


Tova Averbuch         טובה אורבוך
"עוגנים", מרחב פתוח בארגונים 
34 Rabinowitz st.
Holon, Israel
972-3-5523476
972-52-8305343

-----Original Message-----
From: OSLIST [mailto:OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU] On Behalf Of R. Duff
Doel
Sent: Thursday, March 12, 2009 12:29 AM
To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
Subject: Re: [OSLIST] grief work - Funerals in a circle

My partner and I recently went to the funeral of an extended family 
member. As often happens, our conversation turned to what we would like 
as a ceremony. She stated quite strongly that rather than a classic 
ceremony, she wanted a "wisdom circle" where a "talking stick" or stone, 
or the like, would be passed. The more I think about it, the more I 
think I would like that for myself as well.

Duff

Michael Wood wrote:
> thanks to those who sent suggestions of links relating to grief work
>  
> Harrison, yes, I'd seen some of your suggestions regarding grief work in
earlier books so it's interesting that you've come to the conclusion that
grief works itself out in the natural process of Open Space without
necessarily having to do special rituals. I guess there have always been and
continue to be rituals, like funerals for example, which we can also draw on
for inspiration. I haven't yet seen a funeral conducted in a circle, but
that might be a great idea!
>  
> This is all helpful
>  
> Michael
>
> ________________________________
>
> From: OSLIST on behalf of Harrison Owen
> Sent: Tue 10/03/2009 22:47
> To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
> Subject: Carol's Op-Ed article on weapons testing in the Wenatchee Daily
World -- NOW Grief work and OS
>
>
>
> Michael --
>
>  
>
> Almost 30 years ago it occurred to me that the Griefwork Cycle applies to
institutions/organizations just as it does to individuals - which is where
it was originally discovered and described. I guess that shouldn't be
surprising, for after all -- it is all people. Anyhow, based on that
understanding I began to hold Wakes for corporations and other organizations
that were passing from the scene. If you are interested you will find a lot
of this described in several of my books. 
>
>  
>
> Later I learned that this was one more thing not to do. All you had to do
was open space and the Griefwork cycle just naturally ran if there was a
need. Specifically - if you have an organization in major trauma either
because it is going out of business or thinks it might invite everybody to
sit in a circle. No need to do anything special (as in presenting or
facilitating the process). It occurs quite naturally all by itself. The
theme will vary with the situation but usually I do something like "What are
we going to do with the rest of our lives: Issues and Opportunities?" In
short order the people effectively become grief counselors to each other --
and more often than not get well beyond that and start dealing with creating
new futures, like business plans, etc.
>
>  
>
> For a long time I was both amazed and mystified by the depths reached by
those grieving people in open space. Particularly since they did it all by
themselves and helped each other. I think I now understand what is going on.
Open Space is a child of self organization - the natural, ongoing process of
the cosmos itself for the last 13.7 billion years. The good news is that
life has evolved, but at a cost. It turns out that as self organization
happens there are a series of natural concomitants - chaos, conflict, and
confusion all of which usually end up with ending or death. Doubtless we
might prefer something different - but there it is. Anyhow, I understand
Griefwork to be the naturally evolved human response to the process of
self-organization. An interesting question is how this process is coded into
our collective lives ?? Since it operates everywhere and in a similar
fashion it would almost seem to be part of our genetic system.   But that is
a puzzle for somebody els!
 e. What I do know is that everytime space is opened, self-organization is
energized - and the Griefwork process does its job. No help needed.
>
>  
>
> That is sort of a short tour - and if you want a more extended treatment
check out my last book "Wave Rider: Leadership for High Performance in a
Self Organizing world." 
>
>  
>
> Harrison 
>
>  
>
>  
>
>  
>
> Harrison Owen
>
> 7808 River Falls Drive
>
> Potomac, Maryland   20854
>
> Phone 301-365-2093
>
> Skype hhowen
>
> Open Space Training www.openspaceworld.com
<http://www.openspaceworld.com/>  
>
> Open Space Institute www.openspaceworld.org
<http://www.openspaceworld.org/> 
>
> Personal website www.ho-image.com <http://www.ho-image.com/>  
>
> OSLIST: To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives
Visit: www.listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html
<http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html> 
>
>  
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: OSLIST [mailto:OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU] On Behalf Of Michael
Wood
> Sent: Monday, March 09, 2009 9:58 PM
> To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
> Subject: Re: [OSLIST] Carol's Op-Ed article on weapons testing in the
Wenatchee Daily World
>
>  
>
> Does anyone have any thoughts about when it is appropriate to run
something specific around "grief" before opening a space (compared with just
allowing the grief to emerge naturally as part of the Open Space)?
>
>  
>
> We have a few situations with large lay-offs of workers in mines and
factories, some affecting the entire fabric of small rural communities. I
was mulling this over with my friend Brendan McKeaguea and we were thinking
about what kinds of spaces might be needed in such situations when, in the
first few weeks, the rage is so pronounced and people are simply not yet
ready to move forward?  
>
>  
>
> How might "grief work" be best facilitated in such situations? Has anyone
used any particular process for collective grief work AND/OR used Open Space
to help process this kind of grief?
>
>  
>
> Michael Wood
>
> Western Australia 
>
>  
>
> ________________________________
>
> From: OSLIST [mailto:OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU] On Behalf Of Harrison
Owen
> Sent: Friday, 6 March 2009 11:44 PM
> To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
> Subject: Re: Carol's Op-Ed article on weapons testing in the Wenatchee
Daily World
>
> Opening space for the news to break out is a marvelous idea, and
definitely could put community news media in a new mode of being. In the
northeast of the USA we have a great enterprise called Villagesoup. It
started as a (www.villagesoup.com <http://www.villagesoup.com/> ) online
news outlet and with most of the content generated from the community. I am
not sure how they finance it, but it has a great deal of support and the
idea is definitely spreading. But I have always thought that they could
really get double bang for their buck if they were to host what I might call
Community Editorial Meetings. That would just be a fancy name for an Open
Space for anybody who cared about issues in that community. Standard drill
with proceedings - which could then become new content. To be sure you can
do all of this online, but as we all know online, good as it is, never quite
lives up to f-t-f. It is nice to press the flesh, and great things happen
with a hug, etc. 
>
>  
>
> And in this present moment - otherwise known as financial chaos - it is
safe to say that folks are a little bit nervous, one might say fearful. And
fear does terrible things to viable community. Folks stay inside, hunker
down, stick their thumbs in their mouths, and assume the fetal position and
more.  That is what happens when folks experience shock -- the front end of
Griefwork. However, as we work our grief, fear can dissipate and new futures
manifest. And boy do we need it! And every Open Space provides the
opportunity for this essential function (Griefwork) to do its work. And not
incidentally, it is one hell of a story. All of a sudden we can see that the
media is the message and the message is the media. Not too bad for a day's
work. Go for it!
>
>  
>
> Harrison 
>
>  
>
> Harrison Owen
>
> 7808 River Falls Drive
>
> Potomac, Maryland   20854
>
> Phone 301-365-2093
>
> Skype hhowen
>
> Open Space Training www.openspaceworld.com
<http://www.openspaceworld.com/>  
>
> Open Space Institute www.openspaceworld.org
<http://www.openspaceworld.org/> 
>
> Personal website www.ho-image.com <http://www.ho-image.com/>  
>
> OSLIST: To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives
Visit: www.listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html
<http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html> 
>
>  
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: OSLIST [mailto:OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU] On Behalf Of Carol
Hiltner
> Sent: Thursday, March 05, 2009 10:46 AM
> To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
> Subject: Re: [OSLIST] Carol's Op-Ed article on weapons testing in the
Wenatchee Daily World
>
>  
>
> Dear Michael!
> That may well happen here -- immediately, in fact. In the course of our
conversation about the news business, I invited Rufus to attend the
"Leadership in a Self-Organizing World" event that will be in his
distribution area in Leavenworth, Washington in May. He was already planning
to attend. So, those of you planning to attend might put on your thinking
caps now about what "journalism that serves the community" looks like to
you; how you would leverage it for the "greater good"; and how it can
flourish in the new society we are "self-organizing."
> Carol
>
> On Thu, Mar 5, 2009 at 4:17 AM, Michael M Pannwitz <mmpanne at boscop.org>
wrote:
>
> Dear Carol,
> reading your note about the "World" and "journalism actually serves the
community" reminded me of the work our colleague Ingrid Olausson did in
Sweden years ago. She was engaged by regional editions of a large Swedish
daily to facilitate open space events (with hundreds of participants)on
local issues with proceedings posted in the newspaper and followed up by
readers writing in.
> Greetings from Berlin
> mmp
>
> Carol Hiltner wrote:
>
> Hi all!
> Major victory! *The Wenatchee World *will publish my Op Ed article about
> weapons testing, attached and below.
>
> The *World *was started by my grandfather Rufus Woods back in early 1900s
to
> provide local and national news to North Central Washington, and is now
> published by his namesake, who is my cousin. It is now one of the last
> family-owned daily newspapers in America -- one of the last places where
> journalism actually serves the community.
>
> In response to my submission and letter, he wrote, "These are indeed
> fascinating times - lots of challenges yet amazing opportunities here at
the
> newspaper. We're in total reinvention mode, getting back to the basics
> of *serving
> community* and in particularly more completely embracing the notion of
> *celebrating
> community successes* as a way to lift the conversation out of the morass
of
> reactivity that is all too often the baseline of discourse."
>
> If you'd like a whiff of nostalgia while supporting a rare and valuable
> American treasure, bookmark the link http://wenatcheeworld.com/  I'd like
to
> see them with a national following.
> Best!
> Carol
>
> Navy weapons and weather control testing in Washington State
>
> by Carol Hiltner
>
>
>
> I received an e-mail last week that caught my attention. It proclaimed
that
> the U.S. Navy was planning to use the whole northwestern U.S. for military
> target practice. *Wait a second,* I thought. *Could this be true? Isn't
the
> Navy supposed to be defending us? *
>
> Apparently the Navy has prepared the required environmental impact
statement
> (EIS) that is subject to public comment until March 11th, and this e-mail
> outlined the author's questions and concerns.
>
> So I read the e-mail. It was long, and contained a lot of technical
> information that I couldn't assess. The author wasn't so concerned that we
> would shot at, as she was about the airborne residues of chemicals the
Navy
> admits are toxic, such as depleted uranium and white phosphorus, that
> American citizens would be breathing, eating, and drinking in perpetuity.
>
> Most of the requested target practice area is just off the Washington
coast,
> from which prevailing winds would carry persistent toxins progressively
> further inland. I wondered about the pollution of the orchards and wheat
> fields of eastern Washington, the forests and cities of western
Washington,
> and the immediate impact on our beleaguered fisheries. Could we indeed be
> victims of our own defense efforts?
>
> *Democracy in action,* I thought. I have watched the surge of citizen
> activism spawned by our presidential elections with hope and some
amazement.
> I participated when our President-elect asked Americans to choose the
> priorities for his administration by voting on the internet.
>
> I was still caught up with the wave of people's empowerment when I got
this
> e-mail, and I was alarmed about the prospect of the Navy turning its
weapons
> of war on us, even indirectly. So I glanced at the summary of the
1000-page
> EIS, commented via the Navy website, sent messages to my Senators and
> Congressman asking them to look into this, and forwarded the original
e-mail
> to my networks requesting their involvement in protecting the western
United
> States.
>
> Back through my network came news that Senator Conrad of North Dakota had
> responded. His staff determined that, based on what they found in the EIS,
> the area under discussion was much smaller than stated, but still worth
> watching.
>
> Concerned that I might have responded to a false alarm, but also
recognizing
> that Senator Conrad's staff might not have found the proverbial needles in
> the 1000-page "haystack," I wrote the author, Rosalind Peterson, asking
for
> citations to back up her assertions. She responded with a flurry of
> forwarded government reports and studies.
>
> What I discovered shocked me. From the mouth of Mrs. Sheila Murray, Navy
> Region Northwest Environmental Public Affairs Officer, this EIS addresses
> only a minor adjustment to an on-going weapons testing and chemical
weather
> control program not only on the West Coast, but also in Hawaii, Alaska,
and
> parts of the East Coast. Weather control?! Who does this serve and what is
> the toxic cost? The actual operations areas may be mostly off-shore, but
it
> is *our* weather that is being experimented with for the purposes of war.
It
> is our survival that is being tinkered with through persistent toxic
> chemical releases.
>
> I personally live by the adage, "We get what we focus on." So, I focus on
a
> humanity engaged in the wholeness of life. I see this situation as a
wake-up
> call for us to individually and collectively participate in
decision-making
> with a whole-systems, long-term perspective. This official request for
> comments on the Navy EIS is an opening for citizens to impact the
direction
> of the military that we pay for.
>
> The U.S. Navy Environmental Impact Statement is posted at
> http://www.nwtrangecomplexeis.com/. The original article that brought my
> attention to this is posted at
> http://www.newswithviews.com/Peterson/rosalind114.htm.
>
> We can comment on-line until March 11th at
> http://www.nwtrangecomplexeis.com/NtrcCommentForm.aspx, as well as contact
> our elected representatives.
>
>
>
> Guest columnist Carol Hiltner is cousin of *World *publisher Rufus Woods,
> who once worked at the *World*. She is an author, artist, and activist who
> works collaboratively to access peace through multi-cultural awareness and
> friendship. She is currently focused on bringing forth the perspectives of
> the ancient indigenous culture of peace found in the Altai Mountains of
> Siberia. E-mail: carol.hiltner at gmail.com. Websites:
>
> www.AltaiMir.org <http://www.altaimir.org/> <http://www.altaimir.org/>and
> www.Altaibooks.com <http://www.altaibooks.com/>
<http://www.altaibooks.com/>.
>
> *
> *
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>   

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