Baby-step into O.S. -- questions

[Wendy Farmer-O'Neil]

Hi Lisa,

Welcome!

You are facing one of the dilemmas of the OS facilitator.  I think  
everyone has tried to wear both hats at once at some point.  My  
experience and the experience of many others is that it is a real  
stretch.  Holding space is a more energetic process than it looks from  
the outside.  I believe that you demonstrate leadership by putting  
your agenda on hold and by opening and holding space for what needs to  
emerge for the group.  When you dedicate yourself to that role in  
service to the good of the group, that gift resonates in very powerful  
ways.

I would choose to invite the whole system into the room.  I think you  
will have much juicier conversations.  And if an elephant shows up in  
the room, everyone is there to deal with it.  There are a lot of  
reasons why inviting the largest group possible is important.   
Strategically, i think that you risk alienating further the vanguard  
people as you put it and reinforce an us/them dynamic that already  
seems to be present.

I encourage you to open as big a space as you can.  You have had the  
benefit of two learnings with dearest Queen Lisa (which is more than  
most of us had when we first started), so you will do just fine.  It  
is wonderful that you have shown up here and asked your questions.   
That you thought to ask them suggests to me that you already know the  
answers.  Trust your intuition.  Listen to your heart.

Let us know what you decide to do and how it went.
Cheers,
Wendy

On 9-Feb-09, at 8:05 PM, Lisa Floyd wrote:

> Hello, everyone,
>
> I'm a new swimmer in this pool -- 1st time in the pool, actually.
> I've had the pleasure of two OS Facilitator trainings with Lisa Heft  
> this year.
> I'm not a facilitator by trade, occupation, habit, or  
> experience....but:
>
> I have a community of friends with a common goal and some guidelines  
> and action plans on how best to pursue that goal.
> As always there are some in the vanguard of the process and some (of  
> us) that are lingering back not feeling much attraction to the tasks  
> at hand, not participating much, but want to participate actively in  
> some other (not yet explored or offered) ways.
> Those in the vanguard are on 'tilt' over-time, and are scheduled to  
> burn-out soon, so they don't have the time -- nor the pace -- to  
> keep holding our hands...we need to get ourselves motivated and  
> active.
>
> I've invited some of the laggers to get together to see what we can  
> do to support the collective effort -- for about 4 hours this  
> Thursday (State holiday) or this weekend depending on most  
> convenient date -- for 3 purely selfish reasons:
>
> 1)  I want to dialoge with the other laggers to get myself motivated  
> in some direction or activity -- not just a social-whine time.
> 2)  I want to introdue O.S. to the community.
> 3)  I want to practice some O.S. to the extent that I might be able  
> to, as a raw beginner.
>
> Last week -- before consulting you -- I sent out a personal  
> invitation with motive and purpose to about 12 people, and offered a  
> choice of 3 dates within this week to see which day would be best.   
> I'm hoping to get maybe 4-12 participants.
> I cast it as an informal O.S. experiment and a fun, productive use  
> of our time.
> Most know that I'd like to try this (OS) method as they've heard me  
> advocate it as a change from the common facilitator-centered, agenda- 
> driven, arm-twisting mtg.)
> So, so far, I'm the "client" and the self-designated "facilitator"....
>
> So, my questions are:
> Obviously, I'd like to participate in the converstions, dialogues.
> Must I remain faithful to a facilitator roll?
> Or can I open the space then put on my "participant" hat until the  
> closing circle, making it clear in the intro that I'm doing that and  
> it is not "orthodox" OS?
>
> I'm conflicted that I did not reach out to the whole community, i.e.  
> the enthusiasts & the people I don't really know, for this mtg.
> I basically invited those who seem to have similar needs as me.
> Is that okay this time?  ("It's my party and I'll invite who I want  
> to", mentality.)
>
> [Background & rationale:
> The enthusiasts are already overwhelmed with their work; that's why  
> they need us, too.  I only invited those 'silent' folks with whom I  
> sense common feelings and reasons for not enthusiastically following  
> the lead of those who are already off & running with an action  
> plan.  We stragglers don't necessarily have common action ideas or  
> abilities, so there is still a wee bit of diversity in the group of  
> invitees.  It's certain that we don't want to create an alternative  
> initiative, either.  We are very familiar with the goals and plans  
> of action now in process and the stretched resources and sacrifices  
> of those doing the work, and we would like to be useful in our own  
> ways.]
>
> So my invitation left out the vanguard folks. (They've led the  
> agenda-driven meetings with much enthusiasm which hasn't lit some of  
> us up so far -- yawn.)
>
> By leaving them out, I thought we stragglers could get some  
> confidence in our own thoughts -- in an open space -- to practice  
> our own voices for the next community reflection/planning mtg, or to  
> invite the enthusiasts to a future mtg. of us stragglers.  Afterall,  
> we need the enthusiasts' input at some point in order to support  
> them successfully.  Or, one could hope, that seeing the stragglers  
> step up with renewed enthusiasm, good ideas, and participation might  
> provide motive to use O.S. as the format for the next reflection/ 
> planning meeting.
>
> Pitfalls, counter-arguments, or encouragement, anyone?
> (I should confirm a date by tomorrow and maybe know my role by then,  
> eh?)
>
> Thanks ahead of time,
> lisafloyd
> Santa Rosa, CA, USA
>
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Wendy Farmer-O'Neil
CEO Prospera Consulting
wendy at xe.net
1-800-713-2351

The moment of change is the only poem. -- Adrienne Rich





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