The Chaordic Dance Continues! The talking stick

[louise]

Hi Raffi,

I understand how the talking stick may feel awkward. To me, this is a tool that helps to bring respect and dignity to a conversation through deep listening. And it reminds us of the spirit of OST. As you suggest, I usually leave it in the middle of the circle and provide something else to handle. Such as a small rock, also known as a power objet. i.e the power of the Word. I have a collection of small rocks in my tool box, because people often leave with them...

I once used a marker as talking stick because this was all what we had. And a very powerfull deep conflit resolution happened. 

>From experience with a talking stick, it is a lot less awkward, and much more powerfull, whatever object we use, if people commit to use it first. And it takes somme minutes before the tone and rythm sets in.I alos ask people to personally deliver the talking object to whoever they want to hear, instead of leaving it in the middle of the circle as the tradition goes.

The trick is that it seem like such an simple tool. But, given the usual discussion or debate mode we are used to, true conversation -and this is what the talking stick invites us to, might need some previous distinctions between those modes. I use the story of the talking stick as an introduction to the conversation mode.

To me, using an object that the group can relate to as their own is probably helpfull.

And I hope to be of some help here

Raffi Aftandelian <raffi at BK.RU> a écrit : Date :         Mon, 22 Jan 2007 15:52:31 -0700
De : Raffi Aftandelian <raffi at BK.RU>
Objet: Re: OSONOS -- The Chaordic Dance Continues!
À : OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU

 Dear fellow spaceholders,

Much of this discussion about the evolution of the OSonOS is about how we 
are developing as a community/organization, our relationship to our own 
traditions, and how we develop new ones.

I have attended three international OSonOS, in 2004, in 2005, and co-
hosted the last one. And have been on this list since 2001. From where I 
sit i see a second generation of spaceholders coming of age ("G2"). Might 
there also be a G1/G2 divide or gap? Don't know. I do notice that the 
discussion of the evolution of the OS on OS seems to be happening at the 
time of a significant evolution of the OS on OS, most specifically as 
represented by the OS on OS by the Sea, which maybe I'll be able to make 
this year.

Why is this relevant? I am not entirely sure but I do know that it is 
asking to be said. 

I *do* want to add another question to further complicate the mix. I 
implied in Moscow that I was not sure of the place the talking stick that 
Chris Corrigan so generously gave to the world OS community/organization 
in the OSonOS. At each OSonOS I have noticed just how unwieldy or awkward 
it has been for people to hold it. Even when we have been given guidelines 
on how to hold it, what it means, etc., people have not observed it and 
treated it appropriately. The end of the stick has been pointed up, at 
other people. Other examples galore. 

The talking stick and the OSonOS -- it has felt like an awkward fit.

I learned that I probably misused the stick in Moscow...and I'd been to 
two OSonOS'es previous. Am I just a hopeless case? Talking stick learning 
disabled as it were? 

Or...might it be time to introduce something else as a speaking object at 
the next OSonOS? Perhaps the Vancouver talking stick could stay in the 
middle of the circle as a way of honoring our Elders, but not as a 
speaking object? And maybe the hosts at future OSonOS'es could use a local 
object, something found near the grounds of the OSonOS location?

Jana, your thoughts?

warmly and in appreciation,
raffi

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Louise Brissette
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