Facilitator must be part of the conversations

Wed Aug 1 04:52:21 PDT 2007

Indeed wonderful words! Really appreciated.

In addition to serving the group, I additionally felt I should serve  
the sponsor. I have managed several times to convince a sponsor to  
try doing an OST against all his doubts and objections. I have  
advised him to trust the process as I myself am doing it. But then I  
felt sometimes that my presence, just holding space, was reassuring  
for the sponsor, showing that I continued trusting the process and  
just being there as a guarantor that all will go its way and turn out  
well. I sometimes felt that if I would disappear from the space - by  
"slipping" into a small group -  I would not live up to this promise  
and role of mine: representing this trust that all will be fine.  
Probably I myself would have felt uncomfortable leaving the role of  
just holding space and being there.

-marc

IngeniousPeoplesKnowledge
Marc Steinlin
marc.steinlin at i-p-k.ch
Skype: marcsteinlin

Cape Town
Republic of South Africa
Mobile: +27 (76) 222 81 12

Zweierstr. 50
CH-8004 Zuerich
Switzerland
Mobile +41 (78) 850 42 32

http://www.i-p-k.ch

Am 31.07.2007 um 23:21 schrieb Lisa Heft:

> Hello, all, and thanks for this conversation --
>
> Personally, it is very important for me to be aware of the inherent  
> power
> dynamic I carry with me.  Whether I see myself as this or not,  
> others can
> often see me (the facilitator) as the expert, the person who knows so
> much, the person who has wide experience in the field.  Again -  
> whether it
> is true or not.  And culturally, some in the group may feel that the
> teacher (or whomever) is to be respected.  And / or that s/he may have
> extra words of wisdom.  And so on.
>
> Also, for me, it is very important that if the group is working on  
> some
> issue I really need to be involved with - that I find a colleague to
> facilitate instead of me.  That I make a decision to either be a
> participant or a facilitator / space-holder for the group.
>
> To me, that is serving the group.  To be a clean and clear holder  
> of space
> so that they can do their best work.
>
> Might I have some content information that can help them?   
> Sometimes.  But
> I can always tell them that after the meeting.  Am I interested in  
> what
> they're talking about?  Maybe passionately.  But I can always read  
> their
> notes in the Book of Proceedings - I can even sneak around and pick up
> coffee cups a bit more often in their area.  Do I want to listen in on
> their conversations? Possibly.  Even when I am drawn closer to  
> listen, I
> try to be aware of my body language - to stand to the side and not
> directly face the group, for example (because it can distract them)  
> and
> then to be sure that I leave soon.  Why? Because it is their work, not
> mine.
>
> Even when someone calls me over to a group - for example it's about  
> AIDS
> education and someone might say 'Lisa, can you tell us what you do  
> when
> you teach this in prison?' or whatever -- I will come and answer their
> question, even (if they know me well) share thoughts for a minute -  
> but I
> will make sure to then get up and leave before I find that the
> conversation is question and answer with Lisa.
>
> There are breaks, sometimes lunch - other times in which folks may  
> find me
> for some conversation - and to me that is a bit different than  
> their work
> in sessions.  Still, I am careful not to direct or recommend content,
> rather I am happy to engage in conversation.
>
> When the group knows me *really* well I do not carry any power dynamic
> with me - they don't care - don't see my input weighing any more  
> than any
> one else's.  Still, I don't stay in group conversations.  I alight, if
> anything.  Because my role that day is to hold space for them.
>
> And I never post sessions when I am facilitating. If I have  
> something I
> want them to talk about - to me, this would be my attachment to  
> where they
> go and what they talk about - and that, to me, is an indication I  
> should
> have brought in someone else in the facilitator role so I can jump  
> on in
> as a participant.
>
> Some of you do things differently and I welcome that - this is just
> explaining what my inner thinking is for why I do or do not engage  
> as a
> participant.
>
> And I don't feel it is witholding my fullest self - I feel it is  
> offering
> my fullest self...in service to them, to their work.
>
> Just another thought from someone who may do this as you do or not  
> do this
> as you do, dear readers,
>
> Lisa
>
> lisaheft at openingspace.net
> http://www.openingspace.net
>
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