How do you respond to unsatisfying experiences of "open" space?

[Christy Lee-Engel]

Thank you Harrison, Jack, Michael, Karen, Glory, Lisa, very much for your
considerate and insightful teachings.

I appreciate the reminder that our individual experiences and perspectives
of anything can be, often are, different from those of every other person in
the same "here and now", whether it's of the surroundings or the food or our
interpretation of someone's words.

And I am also taking to heart the good reminder that so much of the learning
is in the sharing. Because those disparate individual perspectives and
experiences are also aspects of some underlying seamless whole that we can
only enter into together.

I love the questions that you all offer--ones that I can ask of my
acquaintance who said she disliked Open Space because of particular events
she participated in, and also of my friend who facilitated those
events--that communicate a sense of interested curiosity and a little bit of
gentle poking to see where the stuckness was. For my learning, and theirs
too. (In my usual work, we call that kind of poking, "palpating for the
tender points" and then when I find them, I insert a needle right there!) In
essence, you open more space via your questions and invitations into future
possibilities.

Harrison wrote:

>  Let's suppose that your friend was basically a control freak in disguise
> (we all are to some extent). She/he said all the right words, but at the end
> of the day, the need to be "in charge" was just overwhelming. And it showed.
> And the space closed, and the folks were unhappy.
>
> ... Perhaps she/he really wanted to let go, but wasn't able to.
>

and Glory wrote:

> *'What prevented you from using your two feet?' (smile, wink - delivered
> lightly)*
>

and I think that in the situation I was asking about, both were somewhat
true: as a facilitator, my friend tends to have an action-oriented agenda
that in this case went in a different direction from what some of the
participants wanted to explore; and the participant I spoke with did not
choose to step up and declare, or move towards, what she cared about. I
imagine that these are common scenarios.

And so I am curious to read your responses to Lisa's tender questions about
the scenario of what do you do when you trust the process (and you care
about that space and that client, but they're not "yours"), and you don't
have confidence (yet?) in the skillfulness of a particular facilitator?
Which I am holding in the same breath as Jack's invitation to love the
destination that resides in ... each (w)holy step.

Thank you again for your generous & thoughtful responses,
and Happy Red Fire Dog Year! (the first day of the lunar new year)

Christy
--
weblog: http://lifecultivatinglife.blogspot.com


On 1/29/06, Lisa Heft < lisaheft at openingspace.net> wrote:
>
>  Hello, Ms. Christy!
>
>
>
> I am on the road so unsure when this message I am sending will get into
> the conversation stream, but…
>
>
>
> Christy wrote:
>
>
>
> <* What, if anything, do you say/do/think when someone says to you, "oh,
> I've been to an Open Space Technology meeting before, and I didn't like it,
> and wouldn't want to do it again," …and upon gentle inquiry you discover
> that what they were told was "Open Space" was not really so very open?
> And/or that something was missing (for example, session summaries weren't
> posted or shared or compiled in a timely way, or at all)? …And especially
> when the spaces in question were held by really wonderful people (definitely
> possessing "good heads and good hearts") whom you like very much?*>
>
>  Ahhh , Ms. Christy.  Indeed I have had that experience.  All I can say is
> that it's an opportunity to share how choice of appropriate
> method/tool/technology, design of time, and attention and respect to
> pre-work, detail and follow-up are the cornerstones of good facilitation, no
> matter the method.  Maybe even to share your own 'survivors of bad Open
> Space' stories if you have them, if appropriate.  And to invite that
> person to another event in future.
>
>
>
> There are a few facilitators I know (no matter the methods they use) that
> I dearly love and to whom I would never refer a prospective client, alas.
> Because I trust the process, but I have seen or experienced a situation
> that person has facilitated that I would not like to see repeated.  And
> even so, I can still love that colleague for who they are, for their
> intention, their passion, their dedication…
>
>
>
> Your question raises an interesting point.  So not to take you off
> Christy's question, but to add another one -- what do you (all of you) do
> when you hear that a great client has selected a facilitator you have seen
> do lousy work, or about whom you have heard others complain?  Very tricky.
> I had this situation and I had a hard time wrestling with my own feelings
> and concerns.  Do I tell the client, with the fear that it makes me sound
> competitive or unprofessional?  Do I let them have their own experience,
> hoping it will be good?  I have done the latter.  What have you others
> done / felt / experienced?
>
>
>
> As with so many things, my other answer is: I call situations like this –
> a breathing lesson…
>
>
>
> Lisa
>
> ___________________________
>
> *L i s a   H e f t*
>
> Consultant, Facilitator, Educator
>
> O p e n i n g  S p a c e
>
> 2325 Oregon
>
> Berkeley, California
>
> 94705-1106   USA
>
> +01 510 548-8449
>
> lisaheft at openingspace.net
>
> www.openingspace.net
>
 <http://lifecultivatinglife.blogspot.com>
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.openspacetech.org/pipermail/oslist-openspacetech.org/attachments/20060129/fe63985c/attachment-0016.htm>