Cross Cultural Facilitation

[Joelle Lyons Everett]

I'm appreciating this conversation about the hard issue of "Am I the right 
person for this job?"

About ten years ago, I attended a wonderful international women's conference 
in Seattle.   The participants included about 2000 women from around the 
world, and I think 17 men.   One of the men made a presentation about the mini-bank 
movement, but most of the men were husbands or friends of presenters or 
participants.

Two of the men offered a session on the role of men in the women's movement, 
and I think every man at the conference was there.   One was a young man from 
Seattle whose wife was very active in the local women's movement.   The other 
was the husband of one of the speakers, an Egyptian woman doctor who had be in 
prison because of her work opposing female circumcision.   He had also been a 
political activist, and they were married in their 40s, after both had been 
released from prison.   The Egyptian opened   the lively conversation with 
these words, "What is is like to be a man working in the women's movement?   You 
are never in charge; you are never up front."   He was not complaining, but 
clear about the reality of supporting a cause that is not your own issue.

I don't tell this story to say that Brendan should not facilitate this 
meeting--it could be, as Lisa suggests, that for him to be there modeling a 
different way of being could be very powerful.   But it does feel to me like this is 
an event that requires quite a bit of prework with the client and her 
colleagues.   And that one of the questions on the floor should be "Is Brendan the 
right facilitator for this event?"   Brendan, part of your preparation for this 
meeting might be developing some options for the group to consider.   And if the 
group decides that you are the right facilitator, it will be even more 
important than usual to show clearly that the meeting belongs to the group, not the 
facilitator.

I know that once Paul and I facilitated two meetings, a couple of weeks 
apart, for a client who was working on a tough issue.   Many participants were 
unhappy after the first meeting because the issue had not been resolved.  So when 
we met with the design team to prepare for the second meeting, one of the 
questions we asked was whether or not they wanted us to facilitate that meeting.   
Asking the question directly brought the dead moose out from under the table, 
and together we were able to design a second meeting that responded to 
people's concerns (and yes, we did facilitate).

Best of luck, Brendan, with this meeting--whether or not you are present!

Joelle



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