Fwd: Appreciating organizational humor

[Kate Armstrong]

>
>
>>>
> Something lighthearted, but to the point, lest we take ourselves too 
> seriously as organizational professionals!
>
(Apology to those of you who will receive more than one of this posting)
>
>
>>> OK, it may be apocryphal...
>>>
>>> Frank Lingua, president and CEO of Dissembling Associates,
>>> is the nation's leading purveyor of buzzwords, catch phrases
>>> and cliches for people too busy to speak in plain English.
>>> Business Finance contributing editor Dan Danbom interviewed
>>> Lingua in his New York City office.
>>>
>>> Danbom:  Is being a cliche expert a full-time job?
>>> Lingua:  Bottom line is I have a full plate 24/7.
>>>
>>> D. Is it hard to keep up with the seemingly endless
>>> supply of cliches that spew from business?
>>> L. Some days, I don't have the bandwidth. It's like
>>> drinking from a fire hydrant.
>>>
>>> D. So it's difficult?
>>> L. Harder than nailing Jell-O to the wall.
>>>
>>> D. Where do most cliches come from?
>>> L. Stakeholders push the envelope until it's outside the box.
>>>
>>> D. How do you track them once they've been coined?
>>> L. It's like herding cats.
>>>
>>> D. Can you predict whether a phrase is going to become a
>>> cliche?
>>> L. Yes. I skate to where the puck's going to be. Because
>>> if you aren't the lead dog, you're not providing a customer-centric
>>> proactive solution.
>>>
>>> D. Give us a new buzzword that we'll be hearing ad nauseam.
>>> L. "Enronitis" could be a next-generation player.
>>>
>>> D. Do people understand your role as a cliche expert?
>>> L. No, they can't get their arms around that. But they aren't
>>> incented to.
>>>
>>> D. How do people know you're a cliche expert?
>>> L. I walk the walk and talk the talk.
>>>
>>> D. Did incomprehensibility come naturally to you?
>>> L. I wasn't wired that way, but it became mission-critical as I
>>> strategically focused on my go-forward plan.
>>>
>>> D. What did you do to develop this talent?
>>> L. It's not rocket science. It's not brain surgery. When you
>>> drill down to the granular level, it's just basic blocking
>>> and tackling.
>>>
>>> D. How do you know if you're successful in your work?
>>> L. At the end of the day, it's all about robust,
>>> world-class language solutions.
>>>
>>> D. How do you stay ahead of others in the buzzword industry?
>>> L. Net-net, my value proposition is based on maximizing synergies
>>> and being first to market with a leveraged, value-added deliverable.
>>> That's the opportunity space on a level playing field.
>>>
>>> D. Does everyone in business eventually devolve into the
>>> sort of mindless drivel you spout?
>>> L. If you walk like a duck and talk like a duck, you're
>>> a duck. They all drink the Kool-Aid.
>>>
>>> D. Do you read "Dilbert" in the newspaper?
>>> L. My knowledge base is deselective of fiber media.
>>>
>>> D. Does that mean "no"?
>>> L. Negative.
>>>
>>> D. DOES THAT MEAN "NO"?
>>> L. Let's take your issues offline.
>>>
>>> D. NO, WE ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE MY "ISSUES" OFFLINE.
>>> L. You have a result-driven mind-set that isn't a strategic
>>> fit with my game plan.
>>>
>>> D. I WANT TO PUSH YOUR FACE IN.
>>> L. Your perspective on this topic is very important to me.
>>>
>>> D. How can you live with yourself?
>>> L. I eat my own dog food. My vision is to monetize scalable
>>> supply chains.
>>>
>>> D. When are you going to quit this?
>>> L. I may eventually exit the business to pursue other career
>>> opportunities.
>>>
>>> D. I hate you.
>>> L. Take it and run with it.
>>>
>> Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page
*
*
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