Learning to expand our NOW

BJ Peters bjp1 at cox.net
Fri Apr 29 11:02:24 PDT 2005


Masud-- When I read your email, I sensed your disappointment at hearing 
no response from Theresa, and I'm guessing your need for knowing how 
she took your comments was not met.

In two earlier emails yesterday, I spoke about Nonviolent Communication 
(NVC) and gave some bare essentials of the model. Upon reading your 
email, I am moved to say just a bit more about NVC. In that model, 
often words that follow "am, is, was, would be, could be..." are labels 
or judgments, whether they are positive or negative. The NVC way of 
giving feedback is to speak in terms of how I felt about what the other 
said or did, what needs of mine were met or not met, and what request 
do I have about what would meet my need. So, if I were to respond to 
your words "...Is that not highly judgmental, Theresa, an opinion 
expressed as fact...", I would say something like, "Masud, when I read 
the words you wrote, I felt anxious because my need for clarity and 
understanding about exactly what constitutes judgment in your mind was 
not met. Would you be willing to elaborate and further explain what you 
mean by judgment?"

I hope this gives you an option to consider. Be Peace --BJ

On Friday, April 22, 2005, at 08:28 AM, Masud Sheikh wrote:

> Dear all,
>
> In the interest of expanding my “NOW”, I request a favour/favor (being 
> Canadian, I can use both spellings):
>
> Yesterday, I had a conflict withTherese Fitzpatrick, when I posted the 
> following note:
>
> “>Funda, such an event would not be negative...it could be wonderful 
> and life affirming. 
>
> > And it could unleash new, positive initiatives in the world.
>
> Please forgive me for reacting, Therese.
>
> "Would not be negative....." - Is that not highly judgmental, Therese 
> – an opinion expressed as fact?
>
> Masud”
>
> Therese’s lack of response makes it evident that my “NOW” did not 
> contain enough space for her to respond. For those of you who can have 
> space for my views, as well as hers, can you please suggest an 
> alternative way of posing my comment/question?  
>
> My best wishes
>
> Masud  
>
> There is something called learning at a rather small level of 
> organisation. At a much higher gestalt level, learning is called 
> evolution– Gregory Bateson
>
>  
>

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>From  Fri Apr 29 14:10:34 2005
Message-Id: <FRI.29.APR.2005.141034.0400.>
Date: Fri, 29 Apr 2005 14:10:34 -0400
Reply-To: diane.gibeault at rogers.com
To: OSLIST <OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
From: Diane Gibeault <diane.gibeault at rogers.com>
Subject: Re: Deafened People thriving in OS
In-Reply-To: <200504271803_MC3-1-9C79-485E at compuserve.com>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

Hi Doug,

Your comment: Do we have some work to do to find many more things not to do?
...rang a true note for me. I have been cutting  out more stuff since. I did
an opening of a very short OS (1.5 hr) the shortest I had done so far - I
broke my record  and would have never thought I'd do something so short.

I was able to open the space in just a bit less than 10 minutes (up to the
invitation to write topics). Everything about that OS event worked, even if
participants had never participated in one before.

I want to thank all those who wrote offline and gave me their comments about
this experience with Deafened people.

One suggested we could borrow from that adapted OS that I described and
apply to other situations. Here is the suggestion made: "it may be of
interest to others: the report condesing process is quite useful for any
group meeting in a half day..."

Have a good weekend everyone,

Diane


-----Original Message-----
From: OSLIST [mailto:OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU]On Behalf Of Douglas
D. Germann, Sr.
Sent: April 27, 2005 6:03 PM
To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
Subject: Deafened People thriving in OS


Diane, Michelle, Harrison--

Not only have you extended our space, but it is possible that there is more
learning and space here.

A few years ago someone wrote or said that even though the population is
ageing, it helps everyone if the numbers are larger on the telephone
keypads and the cooking directions, and if the doors are lighter and easier
to open. They are not just accommodations for seniors.

So the additional learning for us might be that pointing out these
"special" needs helps us to serve the whole population better. In other
words, would speaking slower and simplifying our walk the circle words make
OST better for everyone? Do we have some work to do to find many more
things not to do?

                              :-Doug. Germann
                              Seeking people making community change.

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