inner aggression and the OST facilitator

Harrison Owen hhowen at comcast.net
Mon Apr 18 10:39:00 PDT 2005


Raffi -- I think it is probably fair to state that no one on OSLIST has ever
been able to avoid the feelings you speak about. It seems to come with the
territory called "being human." Speaking personally, I also know what
happens to me when such feelings appear -- my inner space shuts down. It
gets real tight. How I deal with that can include a deep breath, a long
walk, a good talk with a friend -- ending I hope with a big hug.

I am also profoundly aware that when my personal space is closed it will be
a cold day in Hell before I can truly open space for others. And attempting
to open space when I am under the power of anger and aggression (not to
mention fatigue, despair, hangover, or even a bad case of the flue) is a
totally lose/lose situation. I can't do it, and worse, I poison the space
for others. When we open space, I believe we take on a sacred trust, for in
a very real sense the lives of the people who participate are in our hands,
if only for a moment. Honoring that trust is my absolute first priority,
even if it means finding somebody else to open the space when I know that I
am not up to the job.

Take care of yourself!

Harrison



Harrison Owen
7808 River Falls Drive
Potomac, Maryland   20845
Phone 301-365-2093

Open Space Training www.openspaceworld.com
Open Space Institute www.openspaceworld.org
Personal website http://mywebpages.comcast.net/hhowen/index.htm
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-----Original Message-----
From: OSLIST [mailto:OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU] On Behalf Of Raffi
Aftandelian
Sent: Monday, April 18, 2005 1:31 AM
To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
Subject: inner aggression and the OST facilitator

Hi all!

In the process of my ongoing innerwork, I am realizing the amount of
pent-up aggression I have within me. And that I need to learn ways of
giving expression to that aggression regularly (new daily recommended
practices?). I am realizing that the more this aggression sits within
me it can eat up the inside of me and result in serious illness.

I am starting to experiment with being more aggressive in day to day
life. To increase my own threshold for my own aggression. It is
confusing to figure out how best to do this! Right now I am in the way
of the teacher on the medicine wheel (for those not familiar with the
medicine wheel, Harrison cites one colleague in his user guide,
Angeles Arrien; she is an anthropologist with Basque roots and author
of the Fourfold Way; simply put, a medicine wheel is a tool for looking
at wholeness), working with objectivity and discernment. I imagine
there is a much deeper meaning to these two words than how I
understand them. Because as I weigh how to act in day to day life,
those two words lead me to hesitate with my aggression at the time when
someone
inside is now telling me, "get the fucking aggression out of you,
dammit!"

Might people share some practices that have helped you or others in:

a) accepting, embracing, loving one's personal aggression/violence,
recognizing its
positive and creative force (the negative is obvious, no?)

b) how I might give space and voice to the aggression while in the way
of the teacher?

This brings me to the second part of my question-- What space is
there, if any, for the facilitator's expression of (verbal)
aggression/violence
in the context of an OST meeting? If there is, what might that
aggression/violence look like?

If I am at my best when I can bring all of me as a facilitator into
the room, how can I best make use of my shadow aggressor (the
murderer, the sadist, the victim, the masochist) when I notice it?
Obviously, they all rear their head all the time in life and in
facilitated meetings and I have (probably) never noticed it (!!).

Another way of framing this question is that I am a very expressive
person and I don't want to feel like I have to stifle my expression as
an OST facilitator. Can words like "fuck", "shit", "bitch" be used to
create a climate of Open Space? Has anyone had experience in using
such words in opening and holding an OST climate? I know the "oh shit"
story, are there any "oh, fuck" stories?

One thought that comes to me is to acknowledge it and then use one of
my personal strengths-- a love of play-- to just play with the
aggression, thereby creating a much more creative field around me
while in OS.

When I have fallen off my rocker (American English for "I have gone
crazy; rocker-- is a rocking chair), shit, let me know!

Warmly and blessings (dammit),
Raffi

                          mailto:raffi at bk.ru


                          mailto:raffi at bk.ru

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