CONVERSATION WITH AN INVADER
Pannwitz, Michael M
mmpanne at boscop.de
Thu Dec 16 23:20:13 PST 2004
Dear Brendan, dear Artur!
What a wonderful gift questions are!
Great reflection, it reminds me of Marvs and Sandras work with their
Training on "Facilitating the Whole System in the Room" where one
element is to keep reminding oneself (when praised, criticized,
attacked, ignored, invaded on) that this has "nothing to do with me"
reflecting the assumption (fact?) that there is no way for me to
really "understand" (the feelings, thoughts, prayers, culture,
intention, etc.) of the other in the light of myself hardly being
able to understand myself.
I have found this "stance" to be very supportive in the kind of
situations that you, Brendan, found yourself in.
It has been transformative for me in providing more space for myself
to be more present and to process situations/encounters in my role as
"facilitator", especially when the whole group (system) is present.
I also keep realizing, for myself, that this is an ongoing journey
for me which I immensely enjoy.
Greetings from Berlin
On Fri, 17 Dec 2004 09:35:18 +0800, Brendan McKeague wrote:
>Very interesting story, Brendan. But was she really
>"an invader"? What did she "invaded"?
>Good question Artur - thanks for it.
>It has got me thinking - I can see that I've used the term from an internal
>and external perspective
>Internal - as she started to speak me, I had the feeling internally that
>she was invading my space - I guess I had set myself down to breath deep
>and relax, content that the agenda had been raised and folks were off and
>into it...so here was this 'visitor' who was invading my 'billabong'
>(quiet, restful place for re-freshing) with her issue - and I was disturbed
>and distracted....I wonder if I would have even referred to her as an
>'invader' had she had sat down and told me how great she thought the whole
>A wee bit of selective evaluation there - when indeed, as it happens with
>all unplanned engagements, she was a gift to me and I didn't actually refer
>to her in my mind as an 'invader' until later when I reflected on the story
>myself - perhaps 'invader' is not an appropriate term to use in this
>context at all....she was a visitor in my space..a guest to be welcomed and
>External - referring to her 'invading' the process - trying, as I judged
>her initially, to subvert the process by manipulating the facilitator -
>projecting her fears or inhibitions or whatever onto me to get her issue
>raised without her raising it...so, in this sense I used the term 'invader'
>- and again - my own language around this may lead me to an inappropriate
>'labelling' of such an essential ingredient for growing the space - I have
>no idea who she spoke with after that conversation with me - what she said
>- what she felt or thought, or prayed - how her response to my 'listening'
>may have contributed to whatever happened further down the track in session
>I'm content now - she was a guest and a gift - to me and the process -
>regardless of what her conscious intention may have been - that'll do me!
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Michael M Pannwitz, boscop eG i.G.
Draisweg 1, 12209 Berlin
++49 - 30-772 8000
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