Talking sticks and listening sticks

[Phil Culhane]

Wow - thank you for that, Lisa. That was beautifully said.

I learned to use a rock. It has a very curious use. It just sits in the centre of the
circle. That's all. At the end of the OS, often in the closing circle, sometimes later,
someone (or lots of someones) asks, "so - what's with the rock?" As I was taught, the
purpose of the rock is to get people curious, which is an open stance, and to get them to
pay attention to something outside of themselves, which again is an open stance. So the
rock never moves. I really enjoyed reading about the rock you use - particularly that it
gets warm as it passes around the circle.

Two new questions:

1) As Lisa notes below, she will ask "what has changed" since the attendees first came to
the circle. In my closing circles, I will sometimes ask "what did you find useful" about
your time spent in the circle. Similar question, different words, of course, take people
in different directions. What have you found useful in your closing circles?

2) How do you introduce items into the circle? Do you put the
rock/stick/talking/listening item into the circle when you originally set it up? I put
the rock, which doesn't move, into the circle at the beginning, before the chairs are set
up. Then the markers, discussion group forms and blank 11x17 sheets of paper go into the
middle of the room, and the chairs go around in a circle. The talking stick does not make
its appearance until just before closing circle, when I am clearing out non-essential
items (I try to leave things in the circle, unless they might cause confusion - the
discussion report forms come out, the action planning forms go in, but the markers and
blank paper are always there - it's never too late for another idea!). As I tidy up the
centre of the circle and tidy up the chairs, I add the stick. Does yours go in at the
end? Or do you bring it to closing circle, talk, and then put it in the centre?

Thx again.
Phil



On Apr 27, Lisa Heft <lisaheft at OPENINGSPACE.NET> wrote:
>
> Hello, all.
>
> Phil, you asked:
> < What has anyone else used, what has been your experience; what have
> you found "useful"?>
>
> I use a rock which was given to me by my mother when I was a child.  It
> has fossils in it - skeletons which have become part of the stone - of
> ancient sea creatures.  Really an amazing and magical stone.  And as I
> feel it therefore knows many stories, I like to tell the story of my
> mother giving me this stone full of stories and that now it can hear the
> stories and reflections of 'all of you as well' (the participants of
> each OS event or workshop I facilitate).  I ask the group to think back
> to the moment when they were first sitting in this circle at the
> beginning of the event - to think of what is different and what they've
> experienced and felt since that opening circle.  I say that in this time
> for reflection I will pass the stone (in larger groups it would be in
> the center for people to come and pick up), as often when speaking and
> reflecting people feel comfort in holding something.  If anybody wishes
> to share with us what they learned, noticed about themselves, created,
> want to announce, that we will listen - it is a listening stone.  And if
> anyone wants to just hold the stone and enjoy it and take a look at it
> and stay silent before they pass it to the next person, they are welcome
> to do so.
>
> I find that people r-e-a-l-l-y enjoy looking at all the captured lives
> and stories in this particular stone.  And that it heats up after being
> held in many hands.  And people notice that, too.
>
> Take care,
>
> Lisa
>
> ________________________________
>
> L i s a   H e f t
> Consultant, Facilitator, Educator
> O p e n i n g  S p a c e
> 2325 Oregon
> Berkeley, California
> 94705-1106   USA
> +01 510 548-8449
> lisaheft at openingspace.net
> www.openingspace.net
>
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