Attachment and Detachment

Tue Sep 23 16:26:56 PDT 2003

Highly trained facilitators have a difficult time in Open Space because
we just can't believe that we don't need to facilitate it. But that does
not stop us from finding a way to facilitate - to make ourselves feel
more useful or smart. Fact is however, people will self-organize around
their passion and they will be productive - and all of the facilitation
that we ever knew will show up in the room when it needs to by those who
need to.

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>From  Tue Sep 23 18:31:27 2003
Message-Id: <TUE.23.SEP.2003.183127.0700.>
Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 18:31:27 -0700
Reply-To: bjp1 at cox.net
To: OSLIST <OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
From: BJ Peters <bjp1 at cox.net>
Subject: Re: Comparing methodologies
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I'm just back from Palm Springs where I had the good fortune to attend
the conference put on jointly by the Institute of Noetic Sciences and
the Association for Global New Thought. It was awesome!

Julie-- This story is also awesome! Another testimony to the power of
presence and open space. Thanks for sharing it with us!

BJ Peters

Julie Smith wrote:

>Chris and All ~
>
>Your story about leaving the room (because you needed to) brings to mind
>my most recent OST, where I stayed visibly present in the room (because
>I needed to).  I offer this because I think the art of living, and of
>OST, is to know when to be visible, and when to be invisible; when to
>speak, and when to be silent.  Not yin or yang, but both yin and yang.
>(I bring this up because it seems to me that our OST conversation tends
>to articulate and support OST as a way for facilitators to express the
>receptive yin, and provides less permission for facilitators to express
>the assertive yang.  I think wholeness as a human being and as a
>facilitator requires comfort with and ability to express both.)
>
>Two weeks ago I facilitated an OST for a class of 30 7th and 8th graders
>(12 - 14 years old) in one of our local schools.  When I met with them
>the prior week to plan the OST, it was clear there were many conflicts
>impeding the harmony of the classroom.  They were pretty sure OST
>wouldn't work for them, but they agreed they were willing to give it a
>try.  They decided on a theme of "Respect In Our Classroom."  We were
>allotted 3 hours (a relatively long period of time in a classroom
>setting).  I left the planning meeting curious, but unconcerned.  I
>expected a typical OST to follow.
>
>My first inkling that this would not be business as usual was during the
>posting of topics.  Insults were slung freely.  Arguments erupted.
>Emotional appeals for intervention were made to the teacher.  The
>wording of a posted topic was altered without permission of the original
>author. General mayhem ensued.  The teacher was very worried, and needed
>some semblance of order.  We all did.  The students actively ignored my
>presence in the circle and my requests for attention.  Finally, somehow,
>I had their attention.  I suggested that the best way for them to talk
>about their issues was to start the sessions.  I also told them that
>given the level of dissension in the room, I would be willing to
>facilitate a mediation between conflicting parties if invited to do so.
>(I'm not sure what I think about this choice, but this is what I did.)
>
>All but a handful of students ended up in one session, where the
>discussion again raged at full tilt.  Students talked over each other in
>a heated frenzy of words.  The noise level escalated.  Students shouted
>to be heard. Some students stood up and talked even louder to gain
>attention.  Several students attempted to take a leading role in
>facilitating the conversation, but failed.  One student came to me to
>tell me how he was trying to help the group, as if he wanted me to
>anoint him the facilitator.  I told him I couldn't do that, and observed
>that he wasn't exactly a neutral person in the group, and that might be
>why he wasn't being allowed to facilitate.  I also told him I would be
>willing to come in and try to help the group hold their conversation,
>but only if the group invited me to do so.  He went back.  They voted on
>whether they wanted my help.  The vote was about 50% for and 50%
>against.  He decided that meant they didn't want my help.  The battle
>raged.  Two students faced off, then backed down. I was worried.  The
>teacher was VERY worried.  I seriously considered intervening without
>invitation, but kept resisting that impulse, wanting to give them every
>opportunity to make the process work.  Finally, a key student (I'll call
>her Ann) left the room.  Ann was the student who seemed to magnetize the
>most energy and drama.  If I believed in space invaders, I might have
>thought her one.  Wherever she went, fireworks erupted.  When she left,
>everything changed.  Whew.  (Harrison, our conversation of old helped me
>get through this.  In retrospect I can see that you were exactly right.
>There was enough space for her to leave, and leave she did.  That made
>what happened next possible.)
>
>After Ann left, the original group dispersed and mostly reformed in a
>different space for the next session.  They selected a respected (and
>neutral) classmate to facilitate the discussion.  This conversation was
>important because it concerned the care of another living being, the
>classroom gecko.  It turns out Ann was the gecko's current caretaker,
>and there were some concerns about feeding and cleanliness.  The group
>agreed on the identification of care issues, and they carefully thought
>through how they wanted to approach the topic with Ann.  They agreed to
>send a person she trusted to talk with her about the issues, and he
>decided to ask me to accompany him to do so.  Ann was back in the
>regular classroom.  We walked there to talk with her.  At first she
>refused to talk, then gave me a long look, and agreed.  The conversation
>took less than a minute.  He gave her information she didn't have (where
>the food for the crickets was stored, why the crickets were dying before
>they were fed to the gecko, how often the aquarium should be cleaned).
>She was relieved to have the information because it resolved many of her
>concerns for the gecko.  She clearly wanted to take good care of the
>gecko.  She thanked him for the information.  They agreed they would
>talk again if any new problems developed.
>
>The boy walked away, problem solved.  Ann muttered under her breath that
>the people she REALLY wanted to talk with were two other boys.  I
>accepted her invitation, and asked what she wanted to talk with them
>about.  She said she couldn't say, because one of her teachers had told
>her not to talk about it.  I asked her if she could tell me.  Her eyes
>welled up with tears.  She told me a friend had died a year ago, and the
>two boys had spread rumors about him. She said she didn't understand why
>they did that, and since that time she could barely stand to look at
>either of them.  I asked her if she wanted me to talk with her teacher
>to see if it would be okay if she talked with them about it.  She said
>yes.  By the time I came back to the room, they had somehow already
>gathered and begun talking.  I quietly sat down on the floor next to
>them.  She told of her long friendship with her friend, how sad she was
>when he died, and the memories it raised of other losses in her life.
>The boys were both deeply respectful.  They listened fully as she spoke.
>They asked questions.  Both told of the serious consequences they had
>received from their parents for what they had done.  One revealed the
>losses he was facing in his life, and his sadness that his father was
>again stationed in Afghanistan.  She listened and expressed sympathy for
>his situation.  One was very remorseful, and expressed a sincere and
>heartfelt apology.  The other expressed less remorse because he was a
>friend to a girl who had been seriously harmed by the boy who died.  He
>felt a deep loyalty to his friend and her suffering.  Still, he
>expressed a sincere apology for hurting Ann, something he never intended
>to do.  Ann dried her tears and said she felt better.  The boys again
>apologized.  Again, whew.  (I now understand "whew."  It is the out
>breath of release and relief.)
>
>I went back to our OST meeting room.  In between things I had been
>watching a very quiet and reserved young boy who had spent the entire
>time in his own session.  He had taken some flip chart paper and markers
>and created a poster titled "Respecting Each Other."  He wrote if
>someone was crying we should ask them what was wrong, and that we should
>be compassionate and merciful.  He didn't know how to spell
>compassionate and merciful, so he found a dictionary and made sure he
>spelled them right.  And then he defined each of those word.  Then he
>added a little more about being loving and kind.  I could have hugged
>him.
>
>We did a short talking stick closing.  People still wanted to talk after
>one pass, so we did a second round.
>
>And then we were done.  They went back to class and I slowly put the
>room back in order, filled with the wonder of it all.
>
>Julie
>
>*
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>From  Tue Sep 23 22:39:00 2003
Message-Id: <TUE.23.SEP.2003.223900.0700.>
Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 22:39:00 -0700
Reply-To: ashcooper at earthlink.net
To: OSLIST <OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
From: Ashley Cooper <ashcooper at earthlink.net>
Subject: online participation...
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Hello all,
I made the below post to the .net wiki and find myself checking back to see if anyone has responded...nope! Now i'm moving it over here to this forum. If you have any insight, please share.

Thank you :-)
Ashley

I find myself thinking about the use of the Internet in maintaining connections…between individuals and communities of all types and sizes. Reflection upon my experience as an online participant at OsonOS? arose as an example. It seems that a new and unique opportunity to maintain a varying degree of involvement in a community is being made available …wrapped complete with a real time option (and can I even say bounded by passion and responsibility?).
Often I find my mind wandering to a place outside of my physical surroundings, a thought of a person, event, or far-away-land slips in. When I notice it, I like to spend some time “visiting” in that space. When events that I would like to participate in are occurring, I often send part of myself to “visit.”
I notice how many choices were made available regarding the extent to which one is invited to participate in OsonOS?. I have the invitation to physically move my body to Swenmark and the many choices that follow there. I also have the invitation to stay at my house and participate online. Should I choose to be physically absent, I still have the ability to be involved for as many or as few moments as I would like. For myself, I know that while the extent to which I communicate…make myself visible…may vary, my energy is just as present as if I were in the room (though in a very different way).
Previous conferences I might have just “visited” in the way mentioned above. However, with this conference I had the opportunity to check-in in a whole different manner. I wonder about the onsite participants and what it was like for them to feel online participants adding to the occasion. In what ways was that addition of attention, intention, passion, ????? experienced?

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<DIV><FONT size=3>Hello all,</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3>I made the below post to the .net wiki and find myself checking back to see if anyone has responded...nope! Now i'm moving it over here to this forum. If you have any insight, please share.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3>Thank you :-)</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3>Ashley</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3>I find myself thinking about the use of the Internet in maintaining connections…between individuals and communities of all types and sizes. Reflection upon my experience as an online participant at OsonOS</FONT><A href="http://www.openspaceworld.org/network/wiki.cgi?action=browse&diff=1&id=OSonOSinSwenMark/OnsiteAndOnlineColaborationAtOSonOS/wiki.cgi?action=edit&id=OsonOS"><FONT size=3>?</FONT></A><FONT size=3> arose as an example. It seems that a new and unique opportunity to maintain a varying degree of involvement in a community is being made available …wrapped complete with a real time option (and can I even say bounded by passion and responsibility?). </FONT></DIV>
<P><FONT size=3>Often I find my mind wandering to a place outside of my physical surroundings, a thought of a person, event, or far-away-land slips in. When I notice it, I like to spend some time “visiting” in that space. When events that I would like to participate in are occurring, I often send part of myself to “visit.” </FONT>
<P><FONT size=3>I notice how many choices were made available regarding the extent to which one is invited to participate in OsonOS</FONT><A href="http://www.openspaceworld.org/network/wiki.cgi?action=browse&diff=1&id=OSonOSinSwenMark/OnsiteAndOnlineColaborationAtOSonOS/wiki.cgi?action=edit&id=OsonOS"><FONT size=3>?</FONT></A><FONT size=3>. I have the invitation to physically move my body to Swenmark and the many choices that follow there. I also have the invitation to stay at my house and participate online. Should I choose to be physically absent, I still have the ability to be involved for as many or as few moments as I would like. For myself, I know that while the extent to which I communicate…make myself visible…may vary, my energy is just as present as if I were in the room (though in a very different way). </FONT>
<P><FONT size=3>Previous conferences I might have just “visited” in the way mentioned above. However, with this conference I had the opportunity to check-in in a whole different manner. I wonder about the onsite participants and what it was like for them to feel online participants adding to the occasion. In what ways was that addition of attention, intention, passion, ????? experienced? </FONT></P>
<DIV><FONT size=3></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3></FONT> </DIV>
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>From  Tue Sep 23 21:10:15 2003
Message-Id: <TUE.23.SEP.2003.211015.0700.>
Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 21:10:15 -0700
Reply-To: chris at chriscorrigan.com
To: OSLIST <OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
From: Chris Corrigan <chris at chriscorrigan.com>
Subject: Re: Mi'kmawey Debert
In-Reply-To: <MBBBKAMGIOBDNFKGIBKGKEGKDGAA.judir at accesswave.ca>
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Yay!

Chris

---
CHRIS CORRIGAN
Bowen Island, BC, Canada
http://www.chriscorrigan.com
chris at chriscorrigan.com
(604) 947-9236

-----Original Message-----
From: OSLIST [mailto:OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU] On Behalf Of Judi
Richardson
Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2003 12:58 PM
To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
Subject: Mi'kmawey Debert

Hello All --- Just to provide you with an update -- just two years ago,
I faciclitated a two day OST conference hosted by the Confederacy of
Mainland Mi'kmaq to
discuss the development of a First Nation Cultural Centre at Debert,
Nova Scotia. Debert is recognized internationally as a Paleo-Indian site
that existed over 10,600 years Before Present (BP). The Mi'kmaq of Nova
Scotia plan to develop a multi-faceted cultural center called Mi'kmawey
Debert at this location. Individuals and institutions involved in
cultural development were invited to explore the strengths, weaknesses
and next steps for the project.  Debert is a world-renowned
archaeological site. Over 6,000 artifacts were removed from one site in
the 1960's. There are still more sites to be explored in this area.
Mi'kmawey refers to the development of the Paleo-Indian site as a
modern-day facility that will promote the sharing of the Mi'kmaw culture
with people of all backgrounds "in the Mi'kmaq way".  Participants from
across North America included representatives from Tourist Associations;
Smithsonian Institute; Federal and Provincial Government Departments;
Nova Scotia Museum; Museum of Natural History; Black Cultural Centre;
Elders, Chiefs, and community members from Bear River First Nation,
Pictou Landing First Nation; Eel River Bar First Nation; Millbrook First
Nation; Indian Brook First Nation; Wagmatcook Cultural Heritage Centre;
Wanuskewin Heritage Park; First Nation Forestry; Mi'kmaq Association of
Cultural Studies; Fundy Geological Museum; Anthropologists; Confederacy
of Mainland Mi'kmaq; and individual participants representing various
community groups.

Well this Thursday, the Grand Opening of the initial phase is taking
place -- the Mi'kmawey Debert Interpretive Trail. I've been invited to
attend and accepted gratefully -- and will think of you all as I walk
the Trail for the first time.

A bit more information here:

http://www.cmmns.com/debert.html

Cheers,
Judi

www.ponoconsultants.com <http://www.ponoconsultants.com/>
www.emergentfeminine.com <http://www.emergentfeminine.com/>
(902) 434-6695
fax (902) 435-1085
Reap the Rewards!

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<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D2 color=3Dnavy face=3DArial><span =
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10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>Yay! <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D2 color=3Dnavy face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>

<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D2 color=3Dnavy face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>Chris<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D2 color=3Dnavy face=3DArial><span =
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10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>

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<p><font size=3D2 color=3Dnavy face=3D"Times New Roman"><span =
style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;
color:navy;mso-no-proof:yes'>---<br>
CHRIS CORRIGAN<br>
Bowen Island, BC, Canada<br>
<a =
href=3D"http://www.chriscorrigan.com">http://www.chriscorrigan.com</a><br=
>
<a =
href=3D"mailto:chris at chriscorrigan.com">chris at chriscorrigan.com</a></span=
></font><font
color=3Dnavy><span =
style=3D'color:navy;mso-no-proof:yes'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

<p><font size=3D2 color=3Dnavy face=3D"Times New Roman"><span =
style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;
color:navy;mso-no-proof:yes'>(604) 947-9236<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D2 face=3DTahoma><span =
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font-family:Tahoma'>-----Original Message-----<br>
<b><span style=3D'font-weight:bold'>From:</span></b> OSLIST
[mailto:OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU] <b><span =
style=3D'font-weight:bold'>On
Behalf Of </span></b>Judi Richardson<br>
<b><span style=3D'font-weight:bold'>Sent:</span></b> Tuesday, September =
23, 2003
12:58 PM<br>
<b><span style=3D'font-weight:bold'>To:</span></b> =
OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU<br>
<b><span style=3D'font-weight:bold'>Subject:</span></b> Mi'kmawey =
Debert</span></font></p>

<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D3 face=3D"Times New Roman"><span =
style=3D'font-size:
12.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>

<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D2 color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'>Hello All --- Just to provide you =
with an
update -- just two years ago, I faciclitated a two day OST =
conference
hosted by the Confederacy of Mainland Mi’kmaq =
to</span></font><font
color=3Dblack><span style=3D'color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

discuss the development of a First =
Nation
Cultural Centre at Debert, Nova Scotia. Debert is recognized =
internationally as
a Paleo-Indian site that existed over 10,600 years Before Present (BP). =
The
Mi’kmaq of Nova Scotia plan to develop a multi-faceted cultural =
center
called Mi’kmawey Debert at this location. Individuals and =
institutions
involved in cultural development were invited to explore the strengths,
weaknesses and next steps for the project.  Debert is a =
world-renowned
archaeological site. Over 6,000 artifacts were removed from one site in =
the
1960’s. There are still more sites to be explored in this area.
Mi’kmawey refers to the development of the Paleo-Indian site as a
modern-day facility that will promote the sharing of the Mi’kmaw =
culture
with people of all backgrounds "in the Mi’kmaq =
way". 
Participants from across North America included representatives from =
Tourist
Associations; Smithsonian Institute; Federal and Provincial =
Government
Departments; Nova Scotia Museum; Museum of Natural History; Black =
Cultural
Centre; Elders, Chiefs, and community members from Bear River First =
Nation,
Pictou Landing First Nation; Eel River Bar First Nation; Millbrook First
Nation; Indian Brook First Nation; Wagmatcook Cultural Heritage Centre;
Wanuskewin Heritage Park; First Nation Forestry; Mi’kmaq =
Association of
Cultural Studies; Fundy Geological Museum; Anthropologists; Confederacy =
of
Mainland Mi’kmaq; and individual participants representing various
community groups.<o:p></o:p>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D3 color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>=

</div>

<div>

Well this Thursday, the Grand =
Opening of
the initial phase is taking place -- the Mi'kmawey Debert Interpretive =
Trail.
I've been invited to attend and accepted gratefully -- and will think of =
you
all as I walk the Trail for the first time.<o:p></o:p>

</div>

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<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D3 color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>=

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<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D2 color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'>A bit more information =
here:</span></font><font
color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-family:Arial;color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D3 color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>=

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<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D2 color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'><a =
href=3D"http://www.cmmns.com/debert.html">http://www.cmmns.com/debert.htm=
l</a></span></font><font
color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-family:Arial;color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D3 color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>=

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<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D2 color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'>Cheers,</span></font><font =
color=3Dblack
face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-family:Arial;color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D2 color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'>Judi</span></font><font =
color=3Dblack
face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-family:Arial;color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

</div>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D3 color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>=

</div>

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<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D2 color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'><a =
href=3D"http://www.ponoconsultants.com/">www.ponoconsultants.com</a></spa=
n></font><font
color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-family:Arial;color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

</div>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D2 color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'><a =
href=3D"http://www.emergentfeminine.com/">www.emergentfeminine.com</a></s=
pan></font><font
color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-family:Arial;color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D2 color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'>(902) =
434-6695<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

</div>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D2 color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'>fax (902) =
435-1085<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D2 color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'>Reap the =
Rewards!</span></font><font
color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-family:Arial;color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D3 color=3Dblack face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>=

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