holding space
Fr Brian S Bainbridge
briansb at mira.net
Sat Sep 13 03:44:43 PDT 2003
Dear Agneta
Somehow, we feel the crying even this far away in Australia, especially
those who were with you all in Bramstrup.
Seems to me very important to be crying a deal - otherwise, we wouldn't
care I suppose. And we do care - not just for the lady and her
influence and the issues she worked on, but also for the people and
family and futures she was dedicated to.
There has been much press attention here in Australia and lots of quite
personal stories. Thank God for that. For once, our press is acting
with sensitivity and concern - good values which I reckon your Foreign
Minister worked for over lots of years.
Thank you for sharing the crying with us a bit - without that, the grief
cycle wouldn't even get started.
Cheers and sad blessings, BRIAN.
Agneta Setterwall wrote:
> Dear people of the list,
> Yesterday morning I put on my radio in exactly the moment when our
> primeminister told all Sweden that Anna Lind was dead. Until that moment
> the opinion was that she was badly injured, but that there was big hope
> she would survive. I spend all day listening to the radio, crying and
> cleaning my kitchen instead of writing reports as I should have done.
> When I cryed I knew you were there, and I knew mails would fill my inbox
> when I came back to cyberspace today. I know our lives are so fragile,
> and I know that I want to handle that in your presence.
> She was brave, she was honest, she was gentle, she was working hard for
> the best for us all, she was the mother of two young sons, 9 and 11.
> I am still crying
> Agneta Setterwall
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--
Fr Brian S. Bainbridge
0412 111 525
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>From Sat Sep 13 16:29:47 2003
Message-Id: <SAT.13.SEP.2003.162947.0700.>
Date: Sat, 13 Sep 2003 16:29:47 -0700
Reply-To: bjp1 at cox.net
To: OSLIST <OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
From: BJ Peters <bjp1 at cox.net>
Subject: Re: Conversing about..."the right conditions" (fwd)
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Marei-- Thanks for sharing your profound learning. In my experience, I forget
this lesson and have to learn it over and over and over again. The awareness
comes sooner most times in the learning, however. Be Peace --BJ Peters<br>
<br>
Marei Kiele wrote:<br>
<blockquote type="cite" cite="midE19xxwo-0007PK-00 at smtp.web.de">
<meta content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"
http-equiv="Content-Type">
<font face="Courier New" size="2" color="#000000">About letting go and
getting things done, about accepting and learning and about past, future
and Now - I've been thinking a lot these last two days. And Chris, Ted, Alexander,
Lisa, Shay and Harrison - thank you so much for sharing, your thoughts have
been extremely helpful to me. </font><br>
<br>
<font face="Courier New" size="2" color="#000000">With accepting what happened
I find myself doing better and better. But letting go plans and dreams and
visions for the future - this seemed to be not only hard but not even desirable.</font><br>
<br>
<font face="Courier New" size="2" color="#000000">And then today, just by
the way, I recognized two voices in me (kind of arguing). And I want to ask
if any of you knows these voices, too. </font><br>
<font face="Courier New" size="2" color="#000000">One of them saying: If
you are not heading for a better future and not working hard on it (not only
for yourself but for others) - you are just not worth living the life you
live (thanks Lisa for our conversation in Bramstrup). And I decided not to
agree with that voice.</font><br>
<br>
<font face="Courier New" size="2" color="#000000">And the other one was
saying: If you don't concentrate on what you do and on what you're aiming
for and work hard for it you will never reach anything.</font><br>
<font face="Courier New" size="2" color="#000000">And suddenly I realized
that this voice is a relative of those saying, open space will not work because
we always need somebody being in charge and controlling the work. And I said
no to that voice, too.</font><br>
<br>
<font face="Courier New" size="2" color="#000000">The thought popped up
in my mind that perhaps we don't have to plan and concentrate on learning.
Maybe accepting and learning is just ONE thing - not two different. Maybe
when I am open and live with an expanded Now my learning happens by the way.</font><br>
<font face="Courier New" size="2" color="#000000">For example I remember
learning English: In which situation my learning is more fun and even more
sucessful? If I concentrate on my “mistakes” and on what vocabulary I “should”
use next time? Or if I just talk and am open to the impressions around me?
I do remember my English beeing most fluent when I am authentic, not controlling
myself, not controlling the outcome. If I just DO (as Chris sujested) and
go step by step - suddenly I've got things done.</font><br>
<br>
<font face="Courier New" size="2" color="#000000">One of the sentences I
love in “Expanding Our Now” is: “Somewhere along the line we came up with
the absurd notion that if everybody did just what they wanted to, nothing
would get done.” (S.33).</font><br>
<font face="Courier New" size="2" color="#000000">Referring to this I wish
to say: “Somewhere along the line we came up with the absurd notion that
if we accepted what happened, we would never learn.”</font><br>
<br>
<font face="Courier New" size="2" color="#000000">But we do - and better
than ever, don't we?</font><br>
<br>
<font face="Courier New" size="2" color="#000000">Marei</font><br>
<br>
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>From Sat Sep 13 23:38:32 2003
Message-Id: <SAT.13.SEP.2003.233832.0700.>
Date: Sat, 13 Sep 2003 23:38:32 -0700
Reply-To: chris at chriscorrigan.com
To: OSLIST <OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
From: Chris Corrigan <chris at chriscorrigan.com>
Subject: Re: Comparing methodologies
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> On each occasion I sat down in the middle of the room during the
> OS-in-progress with 'the planning team' and shared my concerns -
> participants wandering by sat down too and it was all a transparent
> moment of what should we do or should we do anything. A planning team
> of whomever wanted to be the planning team.
>
> In the case of the upset participants we co-re-designed the next day,
> including a co-designed consensus process to begin that day; in the
case
> of the upset client we just got more people holding space for the good
> and somehow that good energy (or nothing we did at all maybe?) carried
> it through and the client didn't stop the process.
>
Lisa...this is a very important contribution to my practice of Open
Space. Thank you for this.
I have done similar things and as a facilitator working with other
processes I am always open to on the spot redesigns and flexible process
to meet the client's needs. But I have never thought of inviting people
to sit with me in the centre of the ghost circle and consider the Spirit
in the group and whether anything needs to be done about it. I think
that's a risky thing to do, as it invites all kinds of speculations and
momentum building in directions that I wouldn't necessarily be
comfortable with, and yet I can see the value.
This leads me to a story, which has been rattling around in my mind the
last few months. It's taken me a while to get it out.
I finally did an Open Space where I had to walk out of it (at least
temporarily) in that true way that Harrison writes about in the User's
Guide.
The occasion was a gathering of people from a number of First Nations
around British Columbia all of whom operated agencies funded by the
sponsor of the OST, a government department. We held a very successful
OST in February where our question under consideration was "How do we
build on our successes" to talk about how to extend the government
program that had funded these agencies to do great work. A follow up
OST was proposed by the sponsor around the issue of a province wide
voice for these agencies.
We were all set to go and 15 minutes before I opened the space, the
sponsor surprised me by saying that he thought this was not a good time
for this OST, as there were political things going on and financial
commitments currently being withdrawn that would mean that anything
coming out of the meeting would not be supported, either politically or
with money. I was shocked at this admission, and mused openly about
whether we should just call the whole thing off. He said he thought we
should go ahead given that everyone was here, and maybe the
conversations would lead us to a different place. Evidently a number of
the participants were aware of this REAL POLITIK, although most were in
the dark. I reluctantly agreed to go ahead but only if he would
introduce the OST with some honest articulation of these new givens.
He didn't do a very good job of it, and his introduction looked to me
like he was trying to hide something. As I walked the circle, and
introduced the process I was interrupted quite forcefully be a chief who
stated in no uncertain terms that the theme we were there to consider
was bullshit, and that there were bigger issues that needed to be talked
about. I invited him to post these issues but he disagreed saying that
he thought that people needed more information before they decided that
the OST should continue. I continued to thank him for raising the
issues and asked him again to post, but he wasn't biting. As I opened
the space, an older woman asked politely that I reconsider what we were
doing and stop to listen to the information that others had so we would
know what the real issues were. There was an AWFUL lot of nodding in
the room and people looking at me expectantly. It was more than
apparent that we were on the verge of a consensus among the 50
participants that the OST should wait.
So I asked people what they wanted to do. Someone suggested a caucus
meeting, meaning that we were to be kicked out of the room along with
the sponsors and the participants would talk among themselves. There
was a general will in the room to do this, so I said "I'm here to Open
Space on this topic of a provincial voice. If people don't feel they
are ready to do that right now, I'll gladly leave so you can do the work
that you want to do, and when you're ready for us, we'll come back." We
left the room.
The conversation went on in there most of the morning. The sponsor was
philosophical in his acceptance of the situation but not happy. I
reminded him, kind of honestly, of what he had sprung on me earlier in
the morning and suggested that people had seen through this thinly
veiled government agenda for what it was...an attempted whitewash of the
real situation. He agreed and blamed headquarters.
When we resumed after lunch, there was no passion left for the topic.
Nine discussion groups formed and some work got done, but it was clear
that they were mostly killing time until a senior enough government
official arrived so they could vent on him. This happened the next day
after we did convergence. We finished the OST (surprised that it had
lasted that long) and after lunch the regional director general arrived
with a power point presentation on why there was no longer any money to
implement all the stuff they had been talking about. With bigger fish
to fry in the room, one by one people rose from their chairs and started
to ask him some pretty direct questions. Our work was done. We quietly
shut the door and left.
This is an extreme example of reengineering the process in mid stride,
and although Harrison alluded to it in the User's Guide I seriously
thought I would never see the day when I would have to actually leave
the room. In the many other cases where a good conversation about
process was warranted I have often wrestled, like Lisa with the best way
to do this. Now thanks to your post Lisa, I have a way to being more
"moderate" in thinking collectively about where we are in the moment.
Cheers,
Chris
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