life, education, and OST

[Julie Smith]

Greetings, all ~

I think I've come to a resting place with the knotty problem of how to
integrate who I am with what I do for a living.  Since so many of you
have helped me on this journey, I want to share my current thoughts with
you.

I'm working on letting go and letting be.  I'm imagining letting go of
text books and training manuals, letting go of expectations for what
will happen on any given day or in any given moment, letting go of
rushing and grasping, of trying to define what can't be defined.  I want
to let go of external props that interfere with my internal knowing and
my ability to respond in the present to what is happening in the
present.  And I want to let myself be who I am.... quieter, calmer, more
fully aware of myself and others.

In the doing of all that, I'm thinking about working backward (only
backward might really be forward).  That means entering the room each
day thinking first about people as people..... being aware of the
energy, the vibe, the spoken and unspoken needs of the people in the
room....  perhaps giving time and space for an opening each day, an
opportunity for connecting, sharing, attuning.... and not expecting to
progress on any other level until the group has started feeling like a
community (engaged conversation, caring, connection, sparkling eyes,
laughter....)  During this community-building time OST and play are two
tools we can use to reach a place of deeper understanding and authentic
caring.....

.....and then allowing the learning to flow across many paths.....
learning about each other (and thus learning how to listen and learning
that each person has unexpected depth and wisdom.... surprise!)....
learning about how we communicate and how we deal with conflict, about
the choices we have and the choices we make, about how we can help
others find their way through conflict.... learning how to learn with
rather than learning from....

.....and perhaps ending each day with a closing, a time to reflect and
share the learnings of the day.....

These are all things we're already doing in a rather haphazard way.  The
difference for me is naming the priorities and getting things in their
proper order.  When I started doing this work, I thought my task was to
teach people the theory, techniques, and skills of mediation.  My
frustration stemmed from not knowing how to go deep enough to get at
what really matters.  None of the skills and techniques matter a whit
unless the person/mediator is coming from a deeper place of caring and
compassion.  This is a place that can't be talked about meaningfully
until it's been experienced.  It can be shared with but it can't be told
to.  But how to get to that deeper place in a classroom?  It seems so
simple and yet so hard.... don't attempt to describe to, but rather
experience with..... which simply requires following the unfolding that
leads us there....

I think OST will become both explicit and implicit in the way I work.
It's important to make it explicit because doing so helps break the
institutional trance and invites creative thinking about what's
possible.  I also think it's important that it be implicit, in the sense
that it doesn't always need to be named.  We don't always need to call
what we're doing OST.  We can just interact with each other naturally in
new ways that don't require entering any kind of structured process.
I'm imagining a classroom that works a lot like the OSLIST.  Because
people on this list have integrated the principles into who we are, we
can just use them without need for planning, posters, themes,
invitations, or designated marketplace.  I think groups of people in
classroom communities can do the same.

My challenge is to slow down, to trust, to allow the unfolding....

I'm extraordinarily fortunate to be surrounded by people who are
searching for the same kinds of connection and learning I desire.  It's
an amazing thing.  Everywhere I turn, I hear "yes."  Yes is an
invitation to deep learning, to becoming who we are.  Such a great gift
in such a small package..... yes.

Julie

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