i was brainwashed

[Raffi Aftandelian]

Dear folks,

Lisa's police academy story (from the Future Search listserv-- see
below) triggered a memory of an important part of my life that I recall
from time to time but haven't really thought of since the US attack.

I lived from 1973-1982 (age 3 to 12) in Iran, which means I was there
during the Iranian Islamic Revolution and the US Hostage crisis. As an
Armenian-American who grew up there, I have always been confused or not
entirely clear as to where I am from. (My mother's side is Italian; My
father's side lived in Iran and in Georgia, first under the tsar and
then the Soviets).

Some may recall me speaking of a hate mixed with indifference as an
initial reaction to the bombing. I think this is about a residual hatred
of the US that never quite left me after 3 years of brainwashing in
those heady first years of the Islamic Revolution.

I recall:
-people selling cardboard puppets of Carter dressed in red, white, and
blue and with his toothy smile. You pull the tab and he hits himself in
the head-- the gesture for the Persian expression "dirt upon my head."--
something like "how awful" or a curse.

-standing in line before school each day and singing anti-Western (and
anti-Soviet) songs and shouting slogans like-- "Death to America", Death
to France, the USSR, to Carter, Brezhnev.

-exhortations to sing so loud that Khomeini could hear you...

-seeing anti-Western, pro-"Islamic" graffiti all over Tehran (imagine
the billboards of a major city all bearing instead of a materialist
message, an anti-Western one)

-the back of the US Embassy had been turned into an informal public
urinal. It was kind of, ha ha, funny to come on down and make your
"statement."

At the time this all seemed funny, we made up bawdy, raunchy versions of
some of the songs and slogans. But repeating the same thing over and
over again has an effect.

While I was clear on where my own sympathies lay --I recall attacking
the TV screen in anger upon seeing Khomeini broadcast-- an anti-US
message did get inside of me down deep.

Being anti-US is not the same as being a suicide bomber. But think of
this: the Iranian government used children aged 9-10 as human
minesweepers during the Iran-Iraq war (altogether 1 million people
died), the children were brainwashed into believing that their sacrfice
would take them to heaven. What separated me from them? I was a
(nominally Christian) Armenian from an upper-middle class family living
in the capital. The children were Muslim, from villages, and poor. But,
there were also Armenians who took part in that war...

There may be a jump from being anti-US to becoming a suicide bomber, but
it is not unfathomable.

We all have the capability to be a suicide bomber.

We need to ask the questions: Where is the suicide bomber inside of us?
When in life have I been the suicide bomber? How do we make friends with
him/her?

I'm going to chew on those questions today.

And I do hope that the US media begin asking the "why?" question and
"how are we responsible?" question.

Take care,
Raffi AFtandelian
Moscow

_____
Subject:
        [searchnet] Re: picking up the talking stick
    Date:
        Wed, 19 Sep 2001 08:20:32 -0700
    From:
        "Lisa Beutler" <lisa-beutler at home.com>
Reply-To:
        "future search" <searchnet at list.nea.org>
     To:
        "future search" <searchnet at list.nea.org>


Jane's note struck a cord,

I was enrolled in a Police Academy in the SF Bay Area in 1976.  You
might
recall this was during the time of the SLA and they were very active
here.
Most of my classmates were returning Vietnam Vets that had seen their
share
of terror.  One day we received a briefing from some terrorist experts.

The presenters came into our large classroom area.  All curtains were
closed, doors guarded and slides and other materials presented.  The
topic
was "Profile of a Terrorist."  In this particular briefing there was
large
focus on the female members supporting SLA activity.  These women did
not
fit previous profiles of criminals, so it clearly had some extra charge
to
it.  The experts were describing white, relatively educated, middle
class
women.  Some were cheerleaders, all had a history of questioning
authority.
As the details went on and on, the room become far more focused on me.
We
were in just the first wave of women in police academies and I was
suspect
any way - but it was very clear, I fit the profile.

Police academy pretty much reduces people to a Jr. High mentality so - I
was
subjected to a lot of ___ that afternoon BUT more interesting, I
personally
wondered about it and have for years.  What was the difference? Each of
the
women could have easily come to my birthday party, been at a slumber
party,
served as a co-worker.  What was they key that turned their heart?  I
know
these events are unusual but it was the same profile we saw again with
some
of the Manson women so we know it could happen again.

As a matter of politics, Patty Hearst did not fit the "profile" and
received
a pardon.  All of the Manson women are still in prison.  We will now
witness
a new SLA trial.  There is much more to learn from all of this.

The briefing gave all of us a good scare.  We all checked for bombs
under
our patrol vehicles for a least a year after.

Sincerely,
Lisa B.

*
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