Part three OST with children and families

[Doersam, Laurel]

Hi all,

I just noticed that the paragraphs I was answering didn't indent . . .
please note that I've indented the paragraphs on this copy . . . sorry to
clog up the system, but I don't want to confuse my comments with those of
Nino's I was discussing!

-----Original Message-----
From: Doersam, Laurel [mailto:Laurel.Doersam at CapHealth.org]
Sent: Monday, January 29, 2001 04:21 PM
To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
Subject: Re: Part three OST with children and families


I couldn't resist jumping in to this discussion!

>I think, if the appropriate stimulus shows up, the change happens faster
>than one can describe it. If you want to change something, because you
>_think_ the new way will do it better - it might appear difficult
>indeed. But what if the desired change _is_ (or is tacitly recognized
>as) a real improvement to the whole target (org resp. person) ...?

I have a friend who walks on fire (literally).  He believes that
transformational change can be instantaneous if the stimulus is big enough.
Following his first fire-walk, his entire world-view changed dramatically .
. . barriers dissolved, obstacles melted . . . his world has never been the
same.  He realized in the blink of an eye that perception is everything,
that he creates his own reality, that responsibility for everything in his
life must therefore rest at his feet.  This dramatic paradigm shift
transformed him absolutely in every aspect of his being.  His history of
abuse and neglect became a gift to make him stronger and more compassionate,
his "failures" and "mistakes" became lessons, his habitual self-doubt and
fear became deep self-acceptance and extraordinary inner strength. It's been
years now, and he's never looked back.


>Perhaps one of the reasons why it appears so difficult to induce change
>is that in our very developed society it is so difficult to behave
>appropriately?

I presume that by "appropriately" you mean in a way that is respectful/not
harmful to others? On the other hand, if you mean according to any given
society's rules, these are certainly mutable. Perhaps the difficulty in
changing is that we are seldom influenced in a profound way by external
rules or expectations.

> ... one must question if "training" (in any disciplines or in
> >anything really) has any real value to create the free energy that will
> >allow for old tacit knowing to be "unlearnt" and so replaced by a new
> >tacit knowing? In other words how can we facilitate personal,
> >organisational or social "metanoias"?

I don't think that this CAN be facilitated.  I think that the impetus for
the change must come from within - from dissatisfaction with the existing
order.  It seems that only when there is a huge dissonance between the way
things are and the way things OUGHT to be (ie a value incongruency, from
both the individual and the societal perspective) is there enough juice
generated to bring about change.  By "training" people or "facilitating
change" we imply that we somehow possess a greater understanding/wisdom than
they do and therefore they need us to help "fix" them.  I frankly don't want
that responsibility. One of the lessons my fire-walking friend has taught me
is that nobody could have facilitated, cajoled, trained or convinced him to
take this enormous risk to his physical, emotional and spiritual well-being
(I think charbroiled feet could ruin your whole day!) . . . it HAD to be
totally his own choice, at his own time and pace, when it was right for him.
Change only happens when we choose to let it happen . . . when we're ready
for it.

>OST gives the spiritual backing for metanoia. What still has to be done
>is to bring all the concrete knowledge and skills about.

But who is to dictate what those skills and knowledge must look like?
(YIKES!  I wouldn't want to touch that with a 10 foot pole!!!)  And is it
possible that people already intrinsically possess that knowledge, but
simply need the venue to express/share/communicate it?  Just like we all
have the amazing innate capacity to walk on fire (I've examined my friend's
feet closely - there's nothing he has that I don't!!)

Just a few thoughts to add to this fascinating discussion.

Laurel.

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