cross cultural sensitivity (long)

[BJ Peters]

Thanks to Artur, Nino and others, for this continues to be a fascinating and
heartfelt discussion. I have some thoughts that I will insert in the body of
Nino's comments:

Nino Novak wrote:

> I wanted to bring in another aspect: most of us have been educated in a very
> singular (national/cultural/ethnic) way. Very very few people are truely
> "double-homed". Most are EITHER black OR white, and all that between the two
> was ugly, nasty, tabooed. Therefore, I think, most people think in terms of
> "we - the other". This aspect gets even more stressed when politically used
> to argue against minorities/enemies, which is actually done in many
> countries in many ways. The latter might be a major difficulty when trying
> to overcome this "mono-" thinking.
>

Lately I have been studying and facilitating groups around the topic of
polarities. I believe in most cultures we are taught either/or thinking about
most aspects of our lives. We grow up choosing one or the other side of a
multitude of polarities, without recognizing that one side CANNOT exist without
the other (body/mind, work/play, integration/differentiation, life/death,
etc.). Any two true poles are interdependent.

I recommend two books that deal with polarities: "Necessary Wisdom" by Charles
Johnston, MD, takes a profound and deeply spiritual look at this issue; Barry
Johnson, Ph.D deals with the organizational implications and offers a simple
and practical model for managing polarities in groups in his book, "Polarity
Management".

> Another thought is, that only very few people have real experiences how
> these group differences can be surpassed. And when doing so it means acting
> against some unspoken law. It means disarming those who are trying to
> establish and exaggerate those differences.
>
> Two conclusions:
> 1. It might be a dangerous undertaking to fight against "differentiation".
> 2. It has to be done nevertheless - and even more resolutely and
> consequently.

I believe "disarming" and "fighting" gets us more of the same. I have often
voiced the expression "insanity is doing the same thing over and over and
expecting different results" (I say it often so I will hear it). Helping
ourselves and others to see the upside/advantages of the opposite pole and the
downside/disadvantages of our preferred pole opens the space within ourselves
to hold both realities in our minds and hearts at the same time. This does not
come naturally (to me, anyway). As I keep the concept in my consciousness,
however, my awareness of my habitual pattern of taking a side is helping me to
enlarge my capacity to at least catch myself before automatic hardening toward
those who hold an opposing view or do things about which I want to rush to
judgment.

And after all is said and done, it is about how I stand on this planet, how I
respond, what I initiate, the kind of energy I emit - that is my only
opportunity for contribution. And I have choices about the value I want to add.
As Pema Chödrön says in "When Things Fall Apart": "Every day, at the moment
when things get edgy, we can just ask ourselves, ‘Am I going to practice peace,
or am I going to war?'"

For this moment, I choose peace. Blessings --BJ

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